Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 25

Thread: Does it really get better?

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Senior Member GoTWHeeLs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma City
    Posts
    1,788

    Does it really get better?

    Seriously...................I want to say that's crazy, but after seeing everybody talking on this site it seems like there is some hope. Any advice on how to lighten the load for my family and I?

  2. #2
    My first piece of advice - go talk to Betheny She's your neighbor and fellow Okie who's up to speed on what you need.

    Good luck. Onward and upward.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Jesse's Mom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Winthrop, MN, USA
    Posts
    588
    I have a confession. Although I am not SCI, my son is but you wanted an answer for you and your family. Here is mine. My son, Jesse, was paralyzed Dec. 14, 2002. I was sure our life was over. The sadness I felt was horrible. I couldnt imagine how I could keep living feeling that way. I wanted to die but knew that I had to "go on" because of Jesse, my husband and my other son. Three and a half years have past. I feel much, much better. I keep a journal. Last Christmas, 2005, I bought a new diary for 2006. I forwarded ahead in the new one to Christmas 2006 (this one coming up) and I wrote myself a note because I wanted to see how much I could change in one year. I am probably going to embarrass the hell out of myself but I want to let you know that it will get better. This is what I wrote to myself almost 8 months ago: Christmas, not ever going to be the same. Happy will never come. I want something good to happen to feel happy, even if only for a little bit. How long can a person live day by day sad, with the same thought going through your mind. Sadness all the time. Life sucks. I wish I could die sometimes. I wouldnt care if I die. Dont be sad" Oh my God. That was written 8 months ago. I read that a few days ago and I just cringed. I cant believe that I was that SAD. I know I was. It was a terrible time. But now, things are so much better. I dont have those awful, terrible days anymore. It just takes time. You just have to try and get through these first years. I promise. It will get better. You are right if you are thinking nothing is ever going to be the same. It cant ever be the same, but things will get better for you and your family.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Denver, Colorado
    Posts
    534
    It really does get better... Don was injured May 2005 (T11complete) and came home from rehab on August 23, 2005. The first year has been challenging to say the least but things are getting better... either that or we are learning to chill out more... Don is stronger... I don't have to help out nearly as much and I can actually leave him for a few days without the associated guilt.

    Hang in there!

    Sieg

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    461
    Before it gets better, it will be horrendous for a while. Most of it will come from the unknown issues that will hit you up periodically/frequently. We talk about a ton of such issues here all the time. It will be stuff like peeing in your pants or having an unexpected bowel movement at an outing, not being able to access a building or a site, getting the dumb gas station attendant to recognize why they need to pour gas into your tank when they see the handicapped parking placard, dealing with urinary tract infections, pressure sores, frequent doctor checkups, all the sex stuff (and stupid stuff like dropping your pen on the floor three times) ... I could go on and on.

    But they're not anything insurmountable. They're merely new set of challenges requiring perseverance and determination to conquer. If you want to give up, then proceed to the nearest cliff and jump off of it. Or, you can draw strength, no matter how impossible the task might be, and convince yourself that it will all get better and you would be able to adapt with what you've been left with.

    In a sickening way, it's totally exhilarating to challenge yourself with overcoming all the obstacles that you will come across.

    But know that it will eventually get better only if you can convince yourself of that and to also manage your expectations and don't get into a habit of comparing and reliving your past.

  6. #6
    Just about everyone here will tell you it does get better including myself. Of course it's hard to believe when your just starting out but believe it since we have all been through and continue to go through the same things as you. It's not like some AB person telling you it will get better, these are the voices of experience talking.
    As far has hope goes you need to always have hope but don't let it consume you. You can't wait around for the cure or you'll miss the rest of your life. A friend of mine once asked me if I knew there would be a cure for SCI in 8 years what would I do differently? Are you going to sit around and waste the next eight years?
    Are there any support groups near you? Chris Chappell is right when he said go talk to Betheny.

  7. #7
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Someplace between Nowhere and Goodbye
    Posts
    12,964
    It'll get better friend. Just keep truckin' away, and the grief of your injury will pass.

    It'll be 20 years tomorrow, Aug 15 1986, since my injury. The first year or so was a bitch, but things have gotten better every year since then.

    Advice: Keep on hoping for a cure, do what you can to promote the cure, but live your life like a cure might not be coming. That will keep you grounded.

    Best of luck, keep coming here, for we are all your friends and we all know what you are going through.
    Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
    Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

    Thanks!

  8. #8
    Senior Member KVP612's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    dead center
    Posts
    723
    Quote Originally Posted by rdf
    Advice: Keep on hoping for a cure, do what you can to promote the cure, but live your life like a cure might not be coming. That will keep you grounded.
    Best advice I've heard in a long time.
    "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
    Winston Churchill

  9. #9

    The first year is very hard

    Especially with a higher level injury as yours, things will get a lot better, you will see. Keep trying to remain positive and hang in there.

  10. #10
    Senior Member GoTWHeeLs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma City
    Posts
    1,788
    Thanks for all the wonderful advice, it's so nice to have people relate to the situation. Thanks again, it means alot that there are people to talk too.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •