View Poll Results: How and when was your child injured?

Voters
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  • Accident - between ages 0-5

    4 8.33%
  • Accident - between ages 6-10

    4 8.33%
  • Accident - between ages 11-15

    8 16.67%
  • Accident - between ages 16-upwards

    27 56.25%
  • Illness - between ages 0-5

    1 2.08%
  • Illness - between ages 6-10

    1 2.08%
  • Illness - between ages 11-15

    2 4.17%
  • Illness - between ages 16-upwards

    1 2.08%
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Thread: For parents of SCI kids

  1. #21
    Senior Member LauraD's Avatar
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    How did I miss this poll???

    Heather turned 8 years old one month before the car accident she was in. (June 15, 2000) She is 14 now. I remember wishing for a long time that it was me that would have been in that car instead of her (I still do). I would do anything to see her walk again. I think it has made me more of an over protective mom when it comes to my kids doing things now. Especially with my 17 year old son who has had his license for a year now, which can be very hard for him to understand sometimes. I still would like to know exactly what happened that day. My sister in law that was driving was killed and we don't know why she went off the road that day.

    There are days though that things still are hard. I had a lady tell me once that you must live for today. Today Heather is in a chair so lets deal with that and not for all the would have should have could haves. Her daughter is a c-7 (I think) So I guess I have just tried to follow that advice and yet still hope that maybe someday.............
    Mom to Heather, age 16, T-12, 8 years post & Michael, age 19.

  2. #22
    Member Thusa's Avatar
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    I was 17 when i was in my car accident, my mom was really broken up about it, and cried most of the time i was in the hospital, as well as my first experience with being at home. she hid it from me most of the time, it was probably better that way. it helps i have a good attitude about it all. also, my injury is T10, which allows me to be independant.
    T-10 complete, May 8th 2005(Mother's Day)
    Cripple Pride!

  3. #23
    My son was 15 when he was injured in a motocross accident. Of course, I would rather it be me in a chair. I wish things were different, but I don't hurt for him because of "what could have been" because we never know what direction our lives will take. It is what it is.

  4. #24
    It has been a year now since my son's accident. He is now 22 year old. It is still hard -but time has helped. Hear are a few things that really bother me: When I see young men my son's age in the mall. When I hear people complain about little things. Going to a baby shower and wonder if ever?? Seeing my son struggle- Watching someone hang a handicapped sign in their car and then dart into the store. I am now able to get through a day without crying . Life sure isn't fair, but I still have my son, and that's the important thing.

  5. #25

    2 and 1/2 yrs. later

    My daughter suffered an incl. injury (T5) in July '04 while in surgery for scoliosis. It's been tough, yet we're blessed. When I start thinking of things that were lost, it just gets very depressing and pointless, so I tend to think of the future, which seems promising, but still not clear.

    She's 16 now and is doing very well in school. Socially shes seems the same, though I'm sure she'd be out and about more w/o having to deal with a wheelchair and stuff. But, she's still involved with her school's basketball team (asst. coach) and is faithful to her youth group. We had handcontrols installed in the van and she's driving a little bit. She's trains at the YMCA 2 to 3 times a week. She can actually walk with a walker (or crutches, but less stable), but her steps are not as fluid as she'd like, so she doesn't like to walk in public. Poor self-image in the walker, more comfortable in the chair.

    The future in college is hazy to me. She wants to go and seems excited about the prospects, but my wife still helps with personal issues, and honestly, stuff like helping off the couch, opening doors, serving dinner, helping in and out of the car, etc. and etc. There's still alot that we do that won't be there when she goes, and while I think she'll be just fine, I'd like to see her be fully independent BEFORE leaving home. But the more I think about, most ab kids aren't fully independent UNTIL they leave home. lol. But the personal stuff worries me a bit. I try talking to wife about it, but it always turns to "it'll happen, don't worry about it.", end of conversation.

    Thanks for listening.
    Rick

    GO FORWARD! 2 FIGHT! PARALYSIS!

  6. #26
    Senior Member BeeBee's Avatar
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    Rick: I know its hard picturing her independent, but she will get there. Necessity does wonders. Also, hard as it is, take a step back and look at what you do FOR her and why. Because she can't or because its easier if you (or other person) does it or because she doesn't like to (can be a big deal on personal issues). At 2.5 years out, you should only be doing what she CAN'T. And by can't, that means with any effort or amount of time. It's really hard to watch them struggle, but at 16 she's not really a child any more and needs to take responsilbility for her own care.
    TOUGH LOVE.
    BeeBee

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Gary's Mom
    It has been a year now since my son's accident. He is now 22 year old. It is still hard -but time has helped. Hear are a few things that really bother me: When I see young men my son's age in the mall. When I hear people complain about little things. Going to a baby shower and wonder if ever?? Seeing my son struggle- Watching someone hang a handicapped sign in their car and then dart into the store. I am now able to get through a day without crying . Life sure isn't fair, but I still have my son, and that's the important thing.
    Gary's Mom ...Your words hit me the most...and I do relate. My son who was 20 had his accident last April and we still take it one day at a time.

  8. #28
    My daughter and I were the only ones in our family to survive our MVA. My husband and 2 other children were killed. I can deal with my own SCI much better than hers and she has a TBI too. There are still days when I wish that we had died too the grief and the lonliness gets to be too much. I think I could get through this better if my husband was still alive. I just don't know what will happen to her when I die or if Im in the hospital for a long time. We were in different places when we were first hurt. I didnt see her for almost a month. She didnt know because of her TBI but I did. Now when things get really bad I just lay in bed and hold her and know she is all that is left of a beautiful family and a beautiful life.

  9. #29
    Junior Member Lina's Avatar
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    I am a mother of a sci Jaklin is 21

    Yes it is the hardest time in my life!!! I am a single mom and I havn't been back to work I am living off my retirement and only a few people have helped! I will mostlikly end up working for the rest of my life but wait she doesnt want me around anymore because I dont have money her father hired a caregiver and is caring for her now and tells everyone she doesnt like me ??????? Dad has money and can take care of me! I had spent days in the hospital with her cleaned her loved her did everything she asked....Humbled myself for her every need.....I am o.k. now havent seen her for over a week bt after all that she is angry I dont go to see her? Cant afford it gas is high and I have put over 10.000 miles on my car for her to just treat me like S**T ..I love her more than life itself and would trade with her in a second!! What did I do wrong!!!!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by carbar
    I often think that being the parent of a kid with paralysis must be far more heartbreaking than actually being SCI oneself. I wonder if a Mum or Dad ever truly accepts the situation. No matter how much pride and joy your child brings you, do you always have the deeper feeling of 'if only' and all the other possibilites that might have been?
    I am putting a poll out just to see how many parents come to the site, what age their child was when injured and how (illness/accident), but of course comments on any of this would also be very welcome.
    I had my accident when I was 44 - still a child in the sense that my parents were still alive. My Mum though was in an institution with Alzheimer's so she knew nothing of it, and my Dad died 4 months after my accident. I only spoke to him on the phone from hospital & rehab (he lived in Canada) but I know he was deeply hurt and confused by my news. I don't think it contributed to his death, but I know it gave him so much more to worry about and a regret that he couldn't be with me.

  10. #30
    Junior Member Lina's Avatar
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    NEWBIE My prayers are with you what is TBI and MAV. Mydaughter is a Quadrapaligic. How old are you and your daughter? My mother and grandmother both died due to car accidents and am greatfull they didnt survive. My daughter did and is incredibly angry. I think she wish it was me. I do 2

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