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Thread: Just some whining here

  1. #1
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Angry Just some whining here

    OWCH! Chad has been down with a pressure sore and assortment of other symptoms for the last few days and because of the way the furniture and bed are arranged in our room, I have to twist in this really funny way to get him positioned correctly, off his left butt (don't we all have two butts?). I had strained my right arm about 2 weeks before he was needing to be positioned like this, but now that he needs to be turned/positioned every few hours, my right arm HURTS!!!!!!!!!!

    Also, to top it all off, you may recall if you have a stunning capacity for recalling details of other people's lives, that I broke my left foot and ended up having surgery on it. It was a 10 month ordeal that involved a huge amount of pain. Well, it hurts again. Went back to dr and this time I have an EXTRA bone in that same damn foot. I actually had it removed as a teenager but now it's grown back. So completely unrelated, I have 2 foot issues in one year. And guess what: I need surgery on it. ARGH!

    OK, I just had to get that out of my system. I AM IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least at night I can take stronger meds for the pain (don't worry, they are prescribed to me for this). So if I make more grammatical errors, this is why.

    Ami <---- who is irritated as hell at her falling apart body .... ARGH!
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  2. #2
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    Ami
    You are a brave strong woman........How you do all that you do is beyond me. I read your other post a little bit ago. Sorry to hear you may be having to have surgery again. Sending you another (((((hug))))

    It sucks to fall apart as we age!!!!!!!
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  3. #3
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Well Ami .. sometimes I just don't know what to say .... ..... ..... but I'm gonna say this .. I know how much you love Chad .... its very clear ...... but ... you know you need to take care of yourself because you have a little boy that needs his Mom too ... am I right ?? So you just come here and lay it out and we'll commiserate .. and whine .. and feel bad etc. etc. etc. .... and then we'll talk about what needs to be done and get on with it! I'm sorry everyone here has to endure this crap ... but we're here to lift each other up when ever its necessary .... now .... someone pass that friggin' pipe please ... oh yeah and turn it up real LOUD .... .....

    Stay strong Amizilla !

    Obieone
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
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  4. #4
    Senior Member ChopperChick's Avatar
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    revised
    Last edited by ChopperChick; 08-01-2006 at 12:58 AM.

  5. #5
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    Hey Ami:

    You have always been someone who I look to on this list for advice and support! Hang in there! I have body parts that hurt that I didn't even know I had... elbows, hands, knees... As I get older I realize we are all more prone to injury... please try to take a little bit of time for yourself... now pass that pipe!

    Love, Sieg

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by zillazangel

    OK, I just had to get that out of my system. I AM IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least at night I can take stronger meds for the pain (don't worry, they are prescribed to me for this). So if I make more grammatical errors, this is why.

    Ami <---- who is irritated as hell at her falling apart body .... ARGH!
    Ami, that totally sucks.
    Daniel

  7. #7
    Senior Member WM's Avatar
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    Yes, I remember your foot surgery--I'm one of those folks with the stunning capacity to remember the details of other people's lives! ---and all I can say is CRAP! Not the same foot again! And your other hurtin' parts! It's not fair, really, it's not!

    I'm so sorry!
    "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

  8. #8

    Smile

    Amy-

    I agree with you- it stinks getting old. I have had multiple foot surgeries so can relate to your angst.

    You are a remarkable woman! Keep the faith.

    CKF

  9. #9
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Thanks everybody! I am still overwhelmed, but my outlook has improved. Coming here just to complain now and then does me a world of good. So here is more complaining ....

    So obie, your post got my thinking. So I acted on your suggestion to do something about it. So I called a ... let's say "family member" to come help me this week. I am incredibly buried in work, I have been literally working until 2, 3, 4 am even every night. I'm up at 7:30 to take Small Boy to school and then my work begins again. Taking care of Chad, keeping up with the house, and most importantly, being a good mom were all competing priorities. (#1 being a good mom, #2 Chad, #3 work, #4 house, cleaning, etc ... needless to say my house is a freakshow disaster).

    Anyway, I asked this certain family member to come help as she knows how to take care of Chad. She came. After considerable cajoling. Since she has been here, it has been awful. Simply awful. She has harrassed Chad, told him he "lectures" her (all he does is respond to her baited questions and he is NOT a lecturer, ever!!). I have had to stop my work, go in the bedroom and shut the door to "protect" him from her.

    The VERY best part was today when she drew me a diagram of Chad's ass complete with areas indicating pressure areas and EXPLAINED to me how Chad gets sore and how it's important to avoid them and that I should do X, Y, and Z. It took EVERY OUNCE, and I mean EVERY SINGLE OUNCE of self discipline to keep my mouth shut (if you haven't noticed from here, I tend to just say what I think ... and bluntly ). I just stood there in silence and said nary a word. I just stared at her with laser eyes so perhaps she might REMEMBER THAT I HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF HIM FOR OVER 2 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TOTALLY ALONE FOR 1 YEAR!!!!! I know what f***ing pressure IS and HOW they happen.

    Deep breath.

    I still have tons of work to do, Chad is being tortured mentally, my house is still a disaster, and this "relative" complained this AM that there was nothing to do so she was just going to go home. Another Zen like breath here. I could write a list 2 pages single spaced long of what she could do, but hey, what-evah.

    This is why I am reluctant to EVER ask for help ... this is what I get!! More aggravation and work than if I just sucked it up.

    Blah. Despite this, I really am really better about things. If I can just get a certain person to leave, I will be much happier.

    Ami

    p.s. In re-reading this it possibly may sound like I'm blaming this on your suggestion. I am not, and I'm sure you know that. I am just saying that the particular person I asked to help was not helpful. I just need another me!!!!
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  10. #10
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    Since you haven't much luck with the "family" help and I think you have posted before about PCA issues, it seems like priorities #2 and #3 can only be dealt with by you right now.

    You probably have thought of this, but how about hiring someone to come in and clean? A one time shot if you don't want them there all the time might help, even if that is lower on your priority list. I personally have a high tolerance for mess, but when it reaches a certain point, I get really stressed. And now that I can't deal with it, it is harder. Even tho' your reason for "not being able to deal with it" is different from mine, this might help.

    And maybe a local teen to come over and play with your son a couple of afternoons a week. I know how important being a mom is (I have 4 .... ages 15-23, almost grown now) but he might love hanging around with a older kid. Playing at a park, hanging out in the yard, playing ball or riding a bike, playing games at the house while you are busy. We have some little ones next door who LOVE it when my girls hang out with them. Their mom gets some time, and they don;t feel like they are getting farmed out, because to them, it is a treat. These older kids are paying all their attention to them, and doing whatever they want to do!

    Hope things get calmer soon.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

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