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Thread: Just a question?

  1. #1

    Just a question?

    Hi all,

    This is my question. How do you get your sci loved one to take an active roll in taking care of there health. Steven (my significant other) is a grown man and is able to make his own decisions but it is driving me crazy that he doesn't seem to want to or doesn't care to take care of himself. Example, taking his meds on time and when needed, drinking enough water (any liquid). Eating properly, turning to relieve pressure on his but, quitting smoking!!, that kind of thing. I feel as if I have to continuously push, push, push, push.

    When questioned about any of this I get the answer that he has been in the chair long enough and is sick of having to do the right thing. I don't for one moment even pretend to understand how hard it has been for him or for anyone that is a sci. But, I would think that if doing the things necessary to take care of yourself would make it so that you are not miserable than why not do it??

    I admit, I have not always taken that great of care of myself but have realized over time that I have to take care of me if I want to have quality of life. I want to be around to see my daughter get married and have kids, I want to be around to see my grandkids grow up. I want to be around to be with Steven and share our lives together. So, I have been taking alot better care of myself. I just can't seem to convince Steven to take care of himself.

    If he doesn't drink enough water than he gets uti's of the worst kind. And than has to be on antibiotics that are worse than the infections themselves. If he doesnt' take his meds on time than his pain gets worse, increased spasms, and the side effects of not taking the neurotin when he is suppose to are horrible. But none the less he puts taking his meds off until he is forced to.

    I know how hard it is to quit smoking, I smoked for 9 years 1 1/2 packs a day and quit cold turkey. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. He has smoked for the last 7 or 8 years and he tells me and everyone else that he truly want to quit, but he gets to the second day and will make up some excuse to smoke. Now I realize that I have lite them for him (he has enough movement that he can take it from there) and I don't know how many people just tell me to quit lighting them for him but he is an adult and I don't even want to think about howmiserable he will make it if I make that decision. He had a cat scan done last week to take a look at problems in his lower back. They scanned his lungs too and found a spot on hislungs that they say could just be mucus. However the docs cannot be 100% sure that is what it is unless he goes in for more tests on it. He acted like it freaked him out and he quit smoking on Friday night, today (Sunday) he started again.

    I am not sure how to get him to realize that his quality of life would be so much better if he would just do the things that he needs to do to take care of himself.

    Whew,,,sorry for the novel but i am frustrated and am not sure how to handle this.

    thanks for listening.

    Heather
    (so of Steven, c4,5 &6 incomplete for 20 years)

  2. #2
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    May 2004
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    Sounds like he is depressed .... men frequently display depression and passive-aggressiveness (directed in this case in his lack of care for himself). Try to convince him to be seen by a psychiatrist ... especially if this a change from how he has been in the past.

    Good luck.. (hugs)
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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