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Thread: How Do We Tell Him?

  1. #11
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    Tell him honestly. He clearly wants to know, but have a doctor there to answer his questions.

  2. #12

    They never do

    When I came to from my accident, I knew I had broken my neck. I couldn't move.
    They must of known as soon as I was transferred to the spinal unit and taken x-rays that I had broken my neck and that I was a c5 complete which I am. First they say that the swelling around the injury and fluids and that make it impossible to say. Then I asks my dad will I be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life and he says hes not sure. I may need a wheelchair for a bit. But I think they do this to break you in slowly to what has happened that your very severely handicapped and have lost your independence for good. Thinking back on it I wished they had told me sooner rather than holding out false hopes. But may be then I wouldn't of tried so hard in rehab when you keep on thinking if I works hard Ill get some feeling and movement iinto my hands. Your arms gets stronger but your hands remain useless thats the trouble.

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by steve.c
    When I came to from my accident, I knew I had broken my neck. I couldn't move.
    They must of known as soon as I was transferred to the spinal unit and taken x-rays that I had broken my neck and that I was a c5 complete which I am. First they say that the swelling around the injury and fluids and that make it impossible to say. Then I asks my dad will I be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life and he says hes not sure. I may need a wheelchair for a bit. But I think they do this to break you in slowly to what has happened that your very severely handicapped and have lost your independence for good. Thinking back on it I wished they had told me sooner rather than holding out false hopes. But may be then I wouldn't of tried so hard in rehab when you keep on thinking if I works hard Ill get some feeling and movement iinto my hands. Your arms gets stronger but your hands remain useless thats the trouble.
    At the start the doctors don't really know what, if any recovery anyone with SCI will make, there are quads on here who walk, many who have good jobs, great social lives, families and all that, there are also those who don't regain function or much independance. I don't think anyone gave you false hope, they just didn't know. Trying hard in rehab can only be a positive thing. My parents were convinced my life was over that I would be completely helpless, I believed them and I didn't try hard enough, if I had I would be far more independant than I am.
    Last edited by loco; 07-03-2006 at 01:01 PM.

  4. #14
    I find it hard to believe that either docs or nurses would have said nothing to him about his present condition; ie, that his 'neck was broken' or something along that order.

    Could it possibly be that he has heard the 'paralyzed' word, and is in very, very deep denial?
    _____________

  5. #15
    Junior Member DNikolai's Avatar
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    Rehab!

    Hi all

    Been awhile since I gave an update on Jeremy. They moved him to Frazier Rehab yesterday - the 13th. So he was in CCU for almost 4 weeks.

    I have been out of town due to a death in the family (its been a terrible summer for our family) so I havent been up to see him there yet.

    My sister said the docs were going to do their eval today and then go from there. They are still calling his injury complete and severed although we have doubts due to the fact he already has more strength and feeling on his left side (arms, fingers etc)

    He is in remarkably good spirits and has a very positive attitude which we believe will get him far. I will keep you all posted on his rehab and recovery.

  6. #16
    The rehab therapists and doctors will do a better functional evaluation and let you know the results.
    Hard work etc... but rehab will help him gain what he can.


    CWO

  7. #17
    I'm glad to hear he's in good spirits. Pls keep us updated, and remember, it's too early to know what will happen!

  8. #18
    Did he ask? When he does, the doctors will tell them what they think based on their evaluation, in rehab-also what the neruosurgeons said.
    He may gain some function but it might be a small amount or take a while if it does return.Any small amount is important.
    The doctors and therapists must be honest with him so that he will trust them. It is okay for you to say you don't know but this is what the doctors said/thinks.
    In order to get the most out of rehab, he must do what they say & learn what he can- (and hope he doesn't need this new knowlege/skills forever but realize it is big possibility).

    The process (called the grieving process because it is a loss) that people go through includes denial and anger then depression then acceptance. It is normal. Everyone is different how they go through these stages. There is no right or wrong way. Let him talk about it or if he doesn't want to talk, cry, be alone, or whatever-just let him know you are always there for him now and in the future.

    CWO

  9. #19
    Junior Member DNikolai's Avatar
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    He Knows

    Hey all,

    Sorry I didnt fill you all in - he knows his situation and seems to be doing okay - right now. Although I catch glimpses of sadness in him - I think he is going to be okay. And Im sure that time is coming where he will get down but we are just going to be there to support him the best way we can.

    They classified him as an ASIA A - can that possibly improve? I am going to do some research to find out exactly what that means. The said they wont do the "Locomotor" program unless he was classified as a ASIA C or better?

    Nurse : I said before that he has more movement in his left arm than his right and tonight he was saying that he had pain in his left ankle. Is that (pain) a good thing? We were very excited to hear him say his left leg hurt - we hope thats a positive sign? Just let me know honestly if this could be anything.

    He is doing GREAT as far as vitals and everything. He is off the vent and sat in a wheelchair for 11 hours today with no probs breathing while being moved around and his HR and BP were steady I also heard his voice tonight for the first time in 4 weeks - I cried!

    Well thats all for now - thank you all for being so kind and for all your support and advice.

  10. #20
    i was pretty out of it for several days. but i remember being taken for some diagnostic (x-ray, something) and saying to the nurse, "i'm scared." she asked why and i said because i knew something was really wrong. she ran for the doctor and that's when i was told.

    it doesn't really sink in at first, i think, for most ppl. and, of course, there is the uncertainty.

    but, for me, i knew i wasn't gonna walk out of there. it wasn't being depressed...it was somehow just something i knew in my gut. but being ok with that i was not. i cried and cried. actually, i had dreams for yrs before of a catastrophe coming. i packed everything i could into my years before my accident. travelled, learned to fly, flew from coast to coast in small plane twice camping under wing, etc. it is as if i knew my time was limited. yeah, yeah a lotta you can laugh

    but....my nightmares ended the day of my accident and have never come back.

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