Page 4 of 7 FirstFirst 1234567 LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 63

Thread: What an asshole....

  1. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by ChopperChick
    It's the hoyer classic. Did I f--k up? The people told me you can fasten a concrete sleeve.
    Cement-In Sleeve: 40 inches below surface - 22 inches above surface. With this method you'd have to dig up the concrete slab around the pool which is probably only 6-12 inches thick. Then dig down through the substrate 40 inches and pour a nice sized concrete "footer" of about 24" x 24" and install the mounting pole in the center of it. This isn't the way to go unless you're having a new pool installed.

    So you'll need to buy the optional ($230) Hoyer Surface Mount Bracket.

    For use with the Hoyer pool lifter. Allows mounting on surface rather than sleeve in concrete method. Complete kit includes all mounting hardware.
    It will still take one helluva industrial or at least a heavy duty drill with fairly large concrete drill bits to drill the 4 necessary holes. Those bolts appear to be 1/2 inch in diameter.



    But upon reflection and to be honest, I don't know how the Hoyer Surface Mount Bracket would be installed since they show nuts there along with the bolts. At first I thought they were just large concrete lag bolts/screws that could be screwed into 1/2 inch holes drilled into the concrete... perhaps using concrete sleeves. Maybe someone else here knows... or call Allegro Medical back and ask them. I can't find the Hoyer Lift company on the Internet.

    If Mike doesn't want it then send it back. But really, in 6 months time or less he won't need such a lift. They are mainly for quads with limited upper body strength.
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  2. #32
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    connecticut
    Posts
    8,272
    As far as the pool lift goes, has he been in the pool at all yet? Swimming post SCI is great, but it still isn't the same. If he needs floatation support (like I do) it may just be one more non-macho thing for him to deal with.

    As far as turning goes, one thing that helped me, because I was temporarily in a twin bed in the living room for a few weeks until construction on the new bathroom and moved bedroom was finished, was a rail on the side of the bed. OT was worried that when I turned to dress without it, the momentum to turn would turn me too far ..... and ooops! Using the rail helped. A hospital bed really seems overkill to me at his level. If he doesn't try it (sitting up, turning) he is never going to be able to do it. In fact the last 2 weeks or so in rehab, they wanted me sitting up without using the electric bed. (Not that I always DID, but I see now what I should have....) I really did miss that electric sitter upper first weeks home, but figured out fast how to deal without it.
    Last edited by sjean423; 06-07-2006 at 09:01 PM.

  3. #33

    Chopper

    if you were my wife i would be further along than i am. i don't give a f##k what nobody here says--guys will give an arm or leg 2 have a companion like you. if not--let them do it alone---oh--they can't. they say, "you'll drive me crazy". darling--theyd rather b crazy w/ you takeing excellent care of them than being pissy/boobooed/sores/starved/dirty/and alone!!!!!!!! if you drive them crazy then say "i'm sorry--i'll go on w/ my own life and leave you to your life w/out being driven crazy by me". i guarrantee if there was noone around 2 help--he'd change. i'm sci and worse than him--.

    DON'T YOU EVER EVER LET ANYONE DISRESPECT YOU--NO MATTER WHO OR WHAT!!!!!

    why should listen carefully 2 me when so many make it seem like you are wrong 4 pushing to hard--not 2 little--but helping 2 hard---

    i went through this exact same thing--ask people whose been there/done that. i acted like he did---kid and all--nice around friends-she eventually left. how about this---had to go to nurseing home 4 30 days. ask him which he perfers. he's lucky--you going above and beyond. she didn't.

    i'm blessed now--i have people just like you in my life.

    i'm praying 4 him not you---when you leave him and no one takes care of him--NURSEING HOME. these people say you driveing him crazy---SEND HIM OR LET THEM LIVE IN A NURSEING HOME AND THEN COME BACK 2 CC AND TELL YOU WHAT THEY CHOOSE.

    OMG--sci act like your mate just has 2 take care of us. ask all the percentage of sci whose mate is gone right now.

    no one will ever change my mind--I LIVED IT!!!!!!!!

    remember what i said--"DON'T EVER EVER LET ANYONE DISRESPECT YOU--NO MATTER WHO OR WHAT"

    YOU CAN PM IF U WANT!

    GOD BLESS US ALL SCI

  4. #34
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    In your nightmares
    Posts
    1,740
    I would agree with the guy that posted before me. And yes I'll move to California ASAP! But just give the dick like two weeks and if you don't see improvement, I say bounce. You need to be happy.

  5. #35
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Denver, Colorado
    Posts
    534
    CC:

    I have been where you are. Don is a T11 complete. When he came home from rehab... we had a long talk and we decided that if he needed help that he would ASK for it... if he didn't then no help/ It was REALLY hard to watch him struggle but that was the only way he could become independent. Now... I just walk out of the room if he doesn't need help.

    I really wanted to make everything perfect for Don and then realized that I couldn't... I just needed to be there for him...it's been a year and it's still hard for me not to jump in and do everything but I don't.

    Hang in there CC... I agree that if he doesn't want to get out of bed let him do what he wants...He will get real tired of that... I was so tempted to smother Don and have learned to leave him alone unless he asks for help.

    Sieg

  6. #36
    How stable is his injury? I'm a t9 and get in and out of the pool myself. I would honestly promote as much independence as possible, possible being the key word.

  7. #37
    Chopperchick,

    My name is Nicole--I'll start of with that introduction. I'm sorry to hear about your husbands injury and your situtation. I'm a T11 injury about a year and a half post. My suggestion is to let your husband refuse the lift if he doesn't want it. Return it to allegro but make him to the RMA to have it returned then when he wants the lift in two months he'll have to take the responsibility of not having it.The same with the hospital bed. Your only trying to help, and maybe ordering the hoyer lift so soon was a shot to his ego but you did it to help, and out of love for him.
    My suggestion for self care is this : Move out of your bedroom or move him out when the hospital bed comes. If he is alone at night he will learn to Cath, learn to roll and will start doing his own self care purely out of necessity. Do it for a couple of night so at least you can get some sleep. If your there to fill his every need he has no reason to do anything himself, he'll start to just become lazy.Believe me I know this first hand, everyone jumped to help me every time anything was wrong or needed to be done -- easy to become lazy. Also make it a point to take the kids and do stuff with them or just do something for yourself--leave the house for a couple hours. He'll have to do things himself, and that's how he's going to get stronger and learn.
    I'm so glad that everyone here has been so supportive of you, you seem like a wonderful person, mother and wife. I hope things start to get better.

  8. #38
    Chopperchick - like everyone here you have my support as well. You are trying your best to do it all. A valiant effort and attitude however you are heading for burnout. Do as others have suggested and get away for a couple of hours, encourage him to do things for himself. He CAN, WILL and should be independent but its going to take t-i-m-e. My guess is six months minimum given your description. By then, if things don't change fairly quickly, my guess is you may resort to pillow therapy (just kidding of course ) or leaving. The first two years are the toughest. You're only into it 3 months. Chill, slow down, breathe. Worry about the important stuff - kids, your health, bills, etc. The basics. A routine is really helpful but not one where you're doing everything. Back off and he'll have no choice but to figure it out. One thing at a time, one day at a time. This is new to everyone around you. Patience, pacing not frenetic decisions.

    And I must also echo Rehab Rhino's initial comments as I felt, and sometimes still do, exactly as he did and probably your husband does. This is a brand new scenario that there is no roadmap for. Everything is upside down and not making any sense. My opinion is when you start to buy gadgets, etc., all with the best of intentions I'm sure, he sees permanence, no chance to resume his / your life the way it was. By introducing everything all at once - hospital bed, hoyer pool lift you're emphasizing his inability (not that he's helping matters any). Right now he is very angry, frustrated, grieving, devastated at his / your loss. It takes a while to wrap your brain around it.

    Personally, I HATED the home remodeling conversations, the nursing discussions, the minivan application - ALL of it. I would've rather checked out altogether than to have my pride, dignity and most of all my independence ripped out of my life that fateful day. Luckily, but not without alot of tears, outbursts and screams I, as everyone here - and including you, got through it. It takes time. Slow it down. Love each other. Respect each other. Learn from each other. Patience, breathing, boundaries of assistance, etc.

    You are a loving wife and don't deserve to be the object of his tirades. I'll bet however that he loves you and is sorry (no excuse) but he's just mad as bloody hell over what has happened. When the house is quiet and the kids are asleep have a conversation with him. Demand that he look you in the eye and tell exactly what's going on and how you feel.

    I wish you and your family the best CC. Please take care, we're here to support you and your husband and anyone else you think belongs or is a part of this equation..

  9. #39
    Senior Member mr_coffee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    San Francisco, CA
    Posts
    6,030
    Buy the lift, he will like it later. He's probably looking at that thing and thinking, great, now i can feel like a slab of meat getting moved from 1 area to another.

    I felt the same way everytime I would have to go into one of those bus'es that put u on a lift. It makes u feel less of a human for some reason, i dunno why it just does (f0r me, it did anyways) not sure if this is right or not. He's still fresh, he needs to accept things, it will be hard but he will in time.
    Injured:10-16-04
    C7/C8, T1 incomplete;


    For stalkers convenience:
    Blog:
    http://www.ordealsonwheels.com/
    Facebook:
    http://www.facebook.com/#!/coryssanchez
    Progress:
    http://photobucket.com/albums/b290/swooty/
    My drawings:
    http://kanvases.com/sites/corysanchez/home

  10. #40
    i wouldn't refuse the lift because at the very least you'll get stuck with the freight charges-both ways-if you do. that surface mount base plate is over priced for what it is. show a picture of that to a fabricator or someone with welding talent and it will probably cost half that price. installation isn't too big a deal but it needs to be done by someone familiar with the process of using an sds hammer drill (easily rented) and properly inserting thunder-studs, expansion anchors or epoxying in threaded rods. g/l

Similar Threads

  1. Anger Management...
    By stlyin moe in forum Recreation, Sports, Travel, & Hobbies
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 04-19-2006, 11:15 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •