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Thread: What an asshole....

  1. #41
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    If Mike was a tad pragmatic he would have cared less whom ordered a lift or a bed or a ramp to get into the house etc. etc. or if some of it was discussed upfront with him or not. Big deal? What he should do is concentrate on getting well soon. But if he doesn’t care about all the gadgets or your food – tell him to go outside and live and sleep under a tree for a while, guess this would make him a bit more amenable after a week or so.

  2. #42
    I'm confused...Did someone say we shouldn't call our husbands "asshole"? What about when they are????????

    Back up some. When he wants turned, say "I thought you asked me to help less" and let him flop a bit. Best option of all-leave. Go shopping, go for margaritas and chips with your girlfriends, but go. Leave him the cell phone though.

    Quit ordering equipment until he decides what he needs. You're jjust guessing now anyway, you're going to waste a lot of $$. So stop.

    If you love him, please-back off.

  3. #43

    I Wish!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I WISH i had these cc members when i was going through my problems. man my life would be better sooner than later. it really feels good 2 c people who are going through problems of their own reach out 2 lend a helping hand(or typed words) . THIS is the exact reason why we sci are going to find a cure---"UNITED WE STAND-DIVIDED WE FALL"(literally stand).


  4. #44


    I think more married women call their husbands a**holes more times
    than they call them by their names !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The respect a husband gets

    isn't marriage great guys

    makes me want 2 get married. why? oh because i need that constant
    reminder that of all the body parts i have--i have my A**HOLE!!!

  5. #45

    If you get to feeling too good, let me know. I'll call you asshole, ok?

  6. #46






  7. #47
    Senior Member ChopperChick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Northern California
    Thanks so much everyone for all the somments and suggestions. I was just real fed up. He agreed to the hospital bed and it didn't really work out, it is too small to turn, at least for now. But hey, he did try it

    After I got off here, I went and took a much deserved nap Later the kids wok me and said dad wanted to go for pizza! Hooray, outta of the house for awhile! That was ok, we still wern't talking much if at all.

    Later last night, hmmmmmmmmm around 4am ish, Mike had one of his panic attacks so I helped him up and he proceeded to cray. It is alwys awful when he does that. He crys and keeps saying he feels horrible and doesn't want to live like this etc. We both cried, but it was good for us. After he was all setttled down again he told me he loved me and gave me a "thanks". I know he is grateful times are just rough right now.

    And now the pol lift, I can return it for $200. Damn.... The description on the website says "cement in sleeve/ surface mount so I am on the phone arguing that I should have been shipped the smt kit if it is in the description. I dunno, maybe I will return and eat $200 damn again!!!

    No more gadgets for awhile

    I still don't get how he would get into the pool with no leg movement and a concrete deck around the pool. I am sure it just takes time. I guess he will miss swimming this season without the lift...

    Today I am going to back off a little and I am also going to do some balances exercises and help Mike do the oxycycle (another one of my gadgets).

    Oh, and right now, I am going to leave my house messy and go into the bathroom and attempt to highlight my hair because he wants to go to the mall later!!! Hooray, another trip out!!

    Thanks again everyone

  8. #48
    I'm confused...Did someone say we shouldn't call our husbands "asshole"? What about when they are????????
    i always thought it was a term of endearment from my wife..

  9. #49
    CC..........doing stuff is key. I get depressed when I do nothing. Malls, parks, restaurants........they all seem weird at first but I used to feel alive just going to the shops when I'd moped round the house.

    My mood has changed MASSIVELY since I committed to moving into the city. I can't wait. A month ago I would have said I'd never be excited again but I am.
    C5/6 incomplete

    "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

  10. #50
    Quote Originally Posted by ChopperChick

    I still don't get how he would get into the pool with no leg movement and a concrete deck around the pool. I am sure it just takes time. I guess he will miss swimming this season without the lift...
    Maybe Mike needs a little more time in PT to learn transfers. And to get the neck brace off. For him to get into the pool just take a cushion off of a chaise lounge or find a cushion about 3' x 5' and put it close to the pool next to his chair. Then he just needs to scoot up a bit on the wheelchair seat cushion to get past the wheels, leans over and puts his hand on the cushion or pad on the ground and kinda falls/kinda lifts himself down onto it. You may want to put a towel over the wheel just in case he rubs hard against it. From there he just scoots into the pool. He'll want someone (or perhaps two at first) there to spot him for awhile but really, it's not difficult to do a chair to floor transfer. Gravity. Now a floor to chair transfer is a lot harder and takes a lot of practice, balance and upper body strength.

    Or he can use the pool ladder to help him ease his way down onto the concrete, towel or cushion. Where there's a will there's a way. If his kid was drowning don't you think he'd figure out real quick how to get into pool?

    The first time I went swimming in a ground pool I was drunk. I just got a running (wheeling) start and popped a wheelie at the the pool edge and in I went. I went swimming and the chair got a washing. After that I just used the pool ladder to help me down onto the concrete (I think I had a towel laid down) and in I went. You don't need your legs to swim.

    In 6 months it'll be a totally different story for Mike if he gets on with some of his PT and practices his transfers. He's in the Twilight Zone now and all his emotions are coming to the fore knowing that being paralyzed is a permanent condition at least until they find a cure. And all the feelings of inadequacy..... sexual, physical, bodily functions etc. He looks in great shape physically so shouldn't have a problem getting around and doing stuff.

    Best wishes to you, Mike and family.

    And good luck returning the lift.
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

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