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Thread: I thought I would lose weight!?!?!

  1. #11
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    ChopperChick,

    I have not been around the boards much lately, but i have had little time today to check things out. You are being beat to a pulp by (some of) the veteran crips (so to speak) who apparently have NO CONCEPT what it is like to be a caregiver, a spouse and to deal with a new SCI in your loved one. I experienced the first two (still do), but not the latter as my husband's injury was long in the past when we met.

    FOR THE SCInjured WHO ARE POSTING IN THE CAREGIVERS FORUM: please notice the title of this forum. This is intended to be a SAFE place to talk, to vent, etc, even if YOU, the most holier-than-thou (speaking specifically of those who have dissed chopperchick) who are aghast to hear "petty" things from us jerky AB caregivers (in this case: gaining weight) think we are just whining.

    First, yes, we whine here. Get over it. Have YOU ever whined? And how dare you come in here and hurl insults at a new caregiver who is obviously struggling and is TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING!!!!!

    Chopper, I was accused over and over and over and over again of being a fake here, that Chad was not real, or worse, that he was real and I was a psycho who craved to be with a man with a disability. I got ripped for so many of things you are being ripped for now, and other variations on the same theme.

    Please PM me anytime and do remember there are helpful people here - AB and disabled. You have seen the nasty side of the non-AB too much.

    And to everyone: If you do not have something helpful to say - STAY THE F**K OUT OF THE CAREGIVERS FORUM. Go back to slamming people in other forums, this is our sacred forum. Now piss off!

    Ami

    ETA: IF YOU ARE DISABLED AND HAVE NOT INSULTED CHOPPERCHICK, MY COMMENTS ARE NOT DIRECTED TOWARDS YOU. AND, I HAVE NO CONCEPT OF WHAT IT LIKE TO BE DISABLED. BUT I AM HIGHLY QUALIFIED TO SPEAK FROM THE CAREGIVERS PERSPECTIVE. Just wanted to clarify that before someone gets all mad and says I have no concept of being disabled.
    Last edited by zillazangel; 06-08-2006 at 05:02 PM.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  2. #12
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessecj7
    wait a min, your AB??? and your bitching to a bunch of SCIs about a hard time losing weight?!?!?!
    Actually, she is "bitching" to a bunch of CAREGIVERS. I hope your mother doesn't read this thread. Shame on you.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  3. #13
    Senior Member ChopperChick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessecj7
    wait a min, your AB??? and your bitching to a bunch of SCIs about a hard time losing weight?!?!?!

    I never said I was trying to lose weight, I just said I was gaining it. Do you have any AB friends that complain to you about anything? Maybe that is a misconception I have about the future with Mike and I. I thought eventually it would be ok to to complain if my leg or back hurts, or if I am gaining weight. In all honestly, I thought he would appreciate that even though our lives have changed, I am still being me.

  4. #14
    Senior Member 68cougar's Avatar
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    I never said I was trying to lose weight, I just said I was gaining it. Do you have any AB friends that complain to you about anything? Maybe that is a misconception I have about the future with Mike and I. I thought eventually it would be ok to to complain if my leg or back hurts, or if I am gaining weight. In all honestly, I thought he would appreciate that even though our lives have changed, I am still being me.
    Chopper, I complain to matt and he complains about his problems to me. Thats how most relationships work in my experience. Being disabled anything I can to to make him feel better makes me feel impowered and useful. I love doing anything I can to help him wether it is rubbing his back or holding a gate while we are moving cattle.
    Mike may be really sensitive about about any complaints now but he will eventually be able to do most things independantly. Your marriage and life will also eventually normalize and you have to be yourself or it won't work.

    I know i'm on the other side of the coin but I'm pretty good at seeing both sides. Also I'm a T7 which I think is close to Mike's injury. So PM me if you need to vent or ask questions.
    T7 MVA 9/12/04

    Life is just a collection of memories. - C.W. McCall Aurora Borealis

  5. #15
    We can read whatever the hell we want to and who are you to tell people what forums they can go into! My goodness some people are just stating their opinions!

  6. #16
    The first message was directed to Zillazangel

  7. #17
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by serious
    We can read whatever the hell we want to and who are you to tell people what forums they can go into! My goodness some people are just stating their opinions!
    Very true but on a forum such as this some opinions are best kept to oneself.

  8. #18
    You might have a look at www.wellspouse.org (not *.com).
    There is a lot of bitching and moaning there, but also some good back-up from people who are facing similar situations.
    - Richard

  9. #19
    Senior Member Broknwing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by serious
    We can read whatever the hell we want to and who are you to tell people what forums they can go into! My goodness some people are just stating their opinions!
    Serious-
    Zilla was not telling us SCIs not to venture into the Caregiver's forum, as a matter of fact, unless you were one of the people that criticized ChopperChick her message wasn't even directed at you. She was correct in what she was saying, this forum is THEIR sanctuary where they can vent, complain, etc, if need be. They should NOT be criticized for it.
    'Chelle
    L-1 inc 11/24/03

    "My Give-a-Damn's Busted"......

  10. #20
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Caregiving forum has to be a safe haven ...... it stems from a different perspective but comes from a shared experience (with a sig other) ..... feelings not vented ... fester ... not a good thing .... then who will do the giving ... if you can't tolerate it ... leave it be and move on .... or choose to learn from it and stengthen the relationship you have ... or move on .... whatever ... we need this place ..... to be there for you .... Peace ...

    Obieone
    Last edited by Obieone; 06-09-2006 at 11:01 PM.
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
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