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Thread: I'm grossing myself out

  1. #1
    Senior Member ChopperChick's Avatar
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    Angry I'm grossing myself out

    My normally blond highlights have turned into dark brown major roots. My toe polish is chipped and I only shower every other day. I get about 4 hours of sleep a night and my house is a f---en mess...... Will I snap out of it?

  2. #2
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    My friend, I have sooooooooooo been there done that. It was me a few months ago actually. And even now that I'm feeling better, I still face a messy house every day despite cleaning it EVERY DAMN NIGHT!

    Is it possible to have some time alone, a little respite? Or just a change of scenery. It helped me tremendously to just go to DC recently for the Rally even though my kidlet and husband were along because it was just something new to see and I felt more obligated to look presentable!

    Also, how long have you been feeling this way? If it's been more than a few weeks and it is really interrupting your life, please go see a doctor about medication and/or counseling. It has saved my life (as in literally).

    Hang in there, I think all of us here have BTDT. We just all take turns propping one another up.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  3. #3
    My house has gotten pretty bad, too - there is zero time during week days, and on the weekends I need to rest a bit - my sleep is also quite disturbed. So we have someone come in for a few hours a week to sluice the place out, but that doesn't do much about the clutter that has steadily grown. And outside the lawn/garden is now way overgrown - wife loved to garden (or at least to read about it ). A landscape guy will be over next week to hack away the worst of it.
    Gotta admit, though - my toenail polish hasn't suffered a bit !
    - Richard

  4. #4
    When I first came home, my poor husband was on call 24/7 taking care of me and our family. He slept in a recliner in the family room beside my hospital bed in case I needed him. He was lucky to get a shower every 4 or 5 days. Our house looked like a tornado rolled through it every day. Our teens helped, but not up to any great standard if you know what I mean.

    Now, almost 6 months later, our house looks fairly decent again. (We even cleaned out the garage on Saturday!) I am able to do more for myself, and this helps my husband tremendously. I am also able to help cook and do some of the light housekeeping. We sleep in our own bed, and he can shower every day again. Hey, I can even shower now with my handy-dandy shower chair.

    I did not nag my husband about the house (even though the state of it drove me crazy), because I knew he was doing his very best to take care of me, our nine kids, and everything else. You have to pick your battles right now, and the house can wait. A nice shower for yourself, however, may very well be in order.

    What I am trying to say is YES, things will get better. As he heals and becomes more self-sufficient, you will find yourself relaxing, too. This is a season that will pass. The main thing right now is to make sure that you don't run yourself down while you help him heal.

    Best wishes!

    WTL (Sharon)

  5. #5
    You're just experiencing what every caregiver has; total burnout. You have to take care of you or you can't take care of anyone else. Make the time to get your hair done, or read a book, or do whatever it is that makes you feel good. It's worth it in the long run! And - he's going to feel better if you feel better!
    _____________

  6. #6
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    I know my mom is experiancing the same feeling as you are. She has not left the house in 2 weeks. She actually sounds like she is looking forward to going back to work.

    I know my father is a very demanding person. He was very activie and always going. So now he is trying to be as active as he was before, but he just does not realize that my mother can not keep up with it.

    Get some rest and do something for your self, you need it and deserve it. Good luck

  7. #7
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Holy smoley, did you just say NINE kids??????? Wow. I am completely impressed, lol!
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  8. #8
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    Ewww.. your grossing me out too. Just kidding. I was a total neat freak before my accident and I had to let it go because I realized there were more important things in life than a tidy house. About snapping out of it though, I'm sure your incredibly beat by now the way you've been going. All the moms, dads, wives husbands, etc. know exactly what your talking about right now if they've taken care of a loved one. Is your husband doing more for himself? Mabey you need to have a break and sleep in a different bed or the couch just for one night. Yeah, I know what your thinking right now. Your worried he wouldn't wake up to do his cath or you would just feel horrible for sleeping in a different bed. I would feel bad too but girl you need your sleep because it's not only hard on your nerves but it's hard on your heart. I hope you feel better soon.

    P.S. I bet you still turn heads with your roots showing dark brown.

  9. #9
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    Yep... When Don came home from rehab... I thought I was going nuts! Total burnout... working full time... coming home and caregiving... waking up and caregiving... I have not slept a full night for over a year because Don has to IC in the middle of the night... but my system has gotten used to it... We are both on anti-depressants. It definately has gotten better... as time goes by you can get it together more and more... The first year is insane... but Mike is a lucky boy... he has you... but you have to take care of yourself.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jadis's Avatar
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    Amen, Dave. I was so bad, everyone had color-coordinated hangers and clothes baskets! Jello's were blue, mine were green, and the ex's were red. I have specific way I like things done. I would even reclean the bathroom after someone else did it bc I wanted to make sure it was clean. Certain things were done on certain days - Friday, I vacuum. Saturday, I dust (give the dust time to settle from the vaccuuming.) Meals were well-balanced and planned a week out (grocery shopping was done based on the meal plan.)

    Now? I have paths through things. The laundry is no longer sorted as I put them in the dirty clothes, hell I'm lucky if it makes the dirty clothes basket. Sometimes "clean" means the stuff won't stand on its own and may be Febreezed before being worn again (socks and undies do not get worn again, I draw the line there.) And food? whatever I can find = a meal somedays.

    My long straight hair is such so I DON'T have to wash it daily. I can actually twist it up on my head on day 2 & 3 and thanks to the little bit of dirt, I don't have flyaways like I do when it's just washed and clean.

    I think the last time I made my bed was when Chelle was here back in april. It's gonna get messed up again, why bother. Then again, I've been fighting pain like no ones business and could care less about anything right now.

    Today, I had to let Boog wash my scrubs. I am still picky about my dress clothes, and usually I will fight to wash them myself. Today, I decided it wasn't worth the 45 min it takes me to get down two flights of stairs on my ass. He can wash them. screw it.

    CC, you can't do it all. You will get to the point where you have a break down. I was one that did it all and was it all to everyone. After I got hurt and my life became controlled by the pain, I discovered that I couldn't. I fought tooth&nail to hold on to my "control" but i lost.

    Take some time. Take the polish off your toes, soak in the tub & do a deep conditioning treatment on that hair. Pop in a movie and repaint those nails. Hubby can watch with ya, or not. It might do you both some good to do something normal for a change. Better yet, put something in kid-appropriate and watch together as a family. It's not uncommon for us to all pile on the bed with pillows and popcorn and watch a movie or two, or three here. That's another switch. No food was ever allowed in the bedrooms. Now I eat every meal here on the bed when I'm home. Sometimes my son and husband join me.

    Make an appt for yourself to get your hair did in the next two weeks. Hell, skip the repolish and just watch a movie with your man. You can always schedule for a mani/pedi too!! If you don't take some time for you, and soon, you aren't going to do you, your husband, and especially those kids any good at all.

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