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Thread: Is this normal for now?

  1. #11
    Senior Member lurch's Avatar
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    If your guy has any good friends,brothers or sisters now is the time for them to step up. When you are practicing the frustrating and sometimes scary, practical aspects of sci like transferring it can be good to have mates around.
    I was lucky enough to have brothers and sisters that I could have a big shouting match with yet be over it in like an hour ,a healthy release for all concerned . That said I realise that rows in a marriage don't heal so quick.
    If it is in any way possible ,step back for a while . The first year or two of this injury are going to be hell for him but eventually the same guy you love will re emerge.
    My advice is do whatever you have to do to survive those two years for your own sanity.

  2. #12
    i would not give a time frame or even know how to estimate such. its up to him to decide when to change his attitude along with accepting his reality. i think it is like Oprah's Aha moment..... it sounds like he needs a reality check, pinch him (above his injury) and let him know he is still alive. tell him life is worth it, but please do not verbally remind him of your constant help, this was for sure my most aggrevating experience in the beginning, escept the black-outs. the constant reminder of being helpless and needy sucks, especially from others as i already do it to myself enough.
    Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened

  3. #13
    I don't know about him but there are certain medicines that I actually NEED to take for at least 6 months: Nexium and Coumadin. I've had a blood clot so I'm taking Coumadin for that and Nexium is because I am much more prone to stomach ulcers due to the accident. He might be the same with some medicines. Ask his doctors or nurses. He doesn't want the pain medicine????? I couldn't live without it, it's good in a way that he doesn't take that stuff though..... People get addicted to that stuff, like me

  4. #14
    Senior Member Broknwing's Avatar
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    It took me a few weeks to adjust to being home...I wasn't angry, but I can understand why Mike is. I've had angry moments tho. I hated(still do) taking pain meds, was always afraid of the addictive properties of what they had me on. I know it's hard to deal with, but give him time, it really is a normal reaction. If you can, get him out of the house and interacting with his friends/family. I really isolated myself unintentionally, but the longer the time frame became the more isolated from my old friends I became. You mentioned that it took him a long time getting out of the car, it will take less and less time each time he does it....My first transfer into the van took over 45 minutes(and a lot of frustrations)...My first transfer into my truck didn't happen, again, a LOT of frustration....He's going to have a lot of frustration too....that's to be expected. Don't let it get to you, I know it's tough. Keep coming here and talking to us.....
    'Chelle
    L-1 inc 11/24/03

    "My Give-a-Damn's Busted"......

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Broknwing
    It took me a few weeks to adjust to being home...I wasn't angry, but I can understand why Mike is. I've had angry moments tho. I hated(still do) taking pain meds, was always afraid of the addictive properties of what they had me on. I know it's hard to deal with, but give him time, it really is a normal reaction. If you can, get him out of the house and interacting with his friends/family. I really isolated myself unintentionally, but the longer the time frame became the more isolated from my old friends I became. You mentioned that it took him a long time getting out of the car, it will take less and less time each time he does it....My first transfer into the van took over 45 minutes(and a lot of frustrations)...My first transfer into my truck didn't happen, again, a LOT of frustration....He's going to have a lot of frustration too....that's to be expected. Don't let it get to you, I know it's tough. Keep coming here and talking to us.....
    I don't have a problem taking my medicines because I know that they are helping me. If it helps me, I'll do it. The angry moments come and go just like the depression days. Getting into and out of vehicles isn't a problem for me, I hate being in cars/trucks now. It's depressing because my legs just fall to either side.


    He'll have trouble getting into big trucks. My friend has a lifted Dodge Ram with mud tires and that is a KILLER getting into.

    Also, he might be embarassed being in a wheelchair now....I was at first. That quickly goes away, though. Me being able to do wheelies also helps that fear. It kind of shows people that I'm comfortable with it.

  6. #16
    Chopper, is he in pain? Does he have any other SCI complications?? If not, he should get busy with something. Something other than this should occupy his mind and being busy will allow him to feel useful again little by little.

    Leg rests?? What kind of chair did they recommend for him at rehab?

    Tell him to get busy. The sooner he gets busy the sooner some sense of normality will come to his and your life. Regarding SCI stuff, transfering, sleeping, etc. etc., that unfortunately takes time and cannot be rushed. My therapist always said that this was a marathon, not a sprint. It is a marathon that will last the better part of a year, gradually hopefully getting better.

    Comes to mind one of the first times I visited a new friend about 10 years post SCI at his house. Transfering to bed to me was a horrible 15 minute process for me at the time. I asked how he did it. He actually rammed the wheelchair at full speed towards the bed and was lying down in three seconds. Not the safest method but I learned a few pointers. Now I get undressed and tucked in bed from the chair in about three minutes or so, pretty much what it would take an AB person.

    Tell him to get busy with anything, an old hobby, a new career, definitely computers, anything. If he is busy he won´t have time to be depressed. That is my phylosophy.
    T6 complete (or so I think), SCI since September 21, 2003

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by WonderDerek
    I don't know about him but there are certain medicines that I actually NEED to take for at least 6 months: Nexium and Coumadin. I've had a blood clot so I'm taking Coumadin for that and Nexium is because I am much more prone to stomach ulcers due to the accident. He might be the same with some medicines. Ask his doctors or nurses. He doesn't want the pain medicine????? I couldn't live without it, it's good in a way that he doesn't take that stuff though..... People get addicted to that stuff, like me
    Wonderderek, it seems that you, like me, decided to take needed medications.
    I want to emphasize, though, that addiction is more rare than people think. What is common is tolerance, i.e., needing a higher dose after a while to achieve the same effect. But as pain decreases, the doses can be tapered and the medication discontinued, usually with no problems.

    As regards SCI, I believe the risk with narcotics is not addiction, but constipation. But being in constant pain is in itself a risk, too.

    Some people believe that medications are "artificial". Just a kind reminder that poppy seed is a God given plant.

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Cripply
    Wonderderek, it seems that you, like me, decided to take needed medications.
    I want to emphasize, though, that addiction is more rare than people think. What is common is tolerance, i.e., needing a higher dose after a while to achieve the same effect. But as pain decreases, the doses can be tapered and the medication discontinued, usually with no problems.

    As regards SCI, I believe the risk with narcotics is not addiction, but constipation. But being in constant pain is in itself a risk, too.

    Some people believe that medications are "artificial". Just a kind reminder that poppy seed is a God given plant.
    I agree that I chose to take the needed medicines but with the pain medicine it's not tolerance that's the problem, it's addiction. I'll take 10 at a time and I'll do it because when I have the bottle I do it. I do take them when I need them though. I'm slowly trying to help myself The constipation is horrible though. Especially because I don't get enough fiber

  9. #19
    Try and find some people in your area who also have a spinal
    cord injury. When he finds out what some of us are still capable of,
    his attitude will change.

  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by WonderDerek
    I agree that I chose to take the needed medicines but with the pain medicine it's not tolerance that's the problem, it's addiction. I'll take 10 at a time and I'll do it because when I have the bottle I do it. I do take them when I need them though. I'm slowly trying to help myself The constipation is horrible though. Especially because I don't get enough fiber
    Wonder, I don´t doubt what you say. I am merely pointing out that addiction is not as common as people think. Only you know if you are addicted, and I am sure you know the symptoms of addiction.
    When narcotics are taken for serious pain, fear of addiction should not be so prevalent as it is.

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