Page 2 of 10 FirstFirst 12345678910 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 93

Thread: How do we tell him?

  1. #11
    Heart goes out to you guys....

    But just tell him what happened...give him the facts, but DON'T tell him he'll never walk again....I'll remember you guys on Thursday...Pray it goes well..


  2. #12
    What a great group you all are! He is in Phoenix AZ at the moment at a Banner Good Samaritan hospital. We haven't gotten out of ICU yet, so rehab seems very far away at the moment. I know that they have a center here that seems good, but I suppose that is difficult to know until after the fact.

  3. #13
    This is so sad. I'd wait till he asks. It sounds like he'll function better than c3-4, which is a blessing.

    Don't say never.

    No magic answer. I wish you luck.

  4. #14
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Windsor ON Canada
    Posts
    19,320
    What about a psychologist who specializes in crisis response? A clergyperson would make me think I'm on death's door or something ..

    I like Betheny's option too - until he asks - and really it's all up in the air now anyway. Expect the worst, but we hope for the best.

    I'm sorry your family is going through this.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  5. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    461
    Quote Originally Posted by AuntDeena
    Patonb - that is putting it mildly! He is like humpty dumpty at the moment. He also has 8 broken ribs, fractured left scapula, esophagus injury, and both lungs collapsed. Lucky to be alive is an understatement. He is moving his arms and hands, both arms and his left hand are strong and he is moving his right hand, but it is a bit weak. He is young and the paramedics were awesome! My concern now is how lucky he is going to feel when we tell him that he won't walk again and his buddy is dead. I am not so sure he will feel like a lucky guy. I love this boy will all of my heart and want this to be as easy for him as possible. I am looking for a magic answer from someone with just the right words..... I am not going to get it am I?
    It sounds like the poor kid has suffered massive injuries to his body. I wonder if initially you could soften the potential blow by telling him that his body has suffered tremendous damage and shock and that in the coming days and weeks, things will sort out for themselves and he'll see what kind of function he has. But use the massive injuries as a way to soften the message.

    I am, however, more concerned about the current care he;s receiving and whether he's getting someone who really knows how to deal with spinal cord injury looking out for his best interests. I don't know what part of the country you're in or what hospital but I have heard of countless stories, including my own, that had there been more qualified physicians on duty or attending, the level of return could have increased. Even more important is the rehab he's to receive although it sounds like he won't be rehabing anytime soon due to the extent of his injuries. He's so young and his body should be able to respond so much better to proper care and good rehab.

    Wish you the best.

  6. #16
    after reading felieh's comments, i wanted to add that make sure he is getting turned properly... every 2 hrs. or so for pressure relief. i was in a conversation yesterday with a new patient at the Shepherd Center whereas her husband is in a trauma hospital and already has sustained a pressure sore.. if he does, it will just add weeks, sometime months, depending on where it's at... several ppl. here can attest to pressure sores and how to prevent...





    Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

    If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia

  7. #17
    Senior Member Broknwing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    4,742
    Deena-
    It's been almost 20yrs since my last visit to Good Sam, but if it's as good as it was back then, it's a WONDERFUL hospital.(I was quite the accident prone kid w/a seizure disorder) I've seen other members here mention having been there, hopefully one of them can speak up and recommend where he should be going for rehab.

    You've gotten lots of good suggestions from everyone here so far. Please keep coming back and keep asking questions. with the movement he's already gotten back, they are right that it appears that he will be functioning much better than a complete C4.

    We're all here for you & the rest of his family. Please let us know how his progress is doing.
    'Chelle
    L-1 inc 11/24/03

    "My Give-a-Damn's Busted"......

  8. #18
    Senior Member Scorpion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    5,896
    Quote Originally Posted by AuntDeena
    He is moving his arms and hands, both arms and his left hand are strong and he is moving his right hand, but it is a bit weak.
    I'm confused by how you know this, because you said in your first post that he's in a coma and is to be awakened Thursday?

    I don't have any magical answer for you, but I think his father should be the one to tell him along with the doctor, or at least be there with him as the doctor tells him.

    How did you find CareCure, by the way?

    My best to your nephew and your family in this trying time.
    Last edited by Scorpion; 05-09-2006 at 10:30 PM.

  9. #19
    They have let him awaken slightly about once a day to check his responses, then they immediately put him back out. He is in a special bed that moves him on a schedule. So far there doesn't seem to be any pressure sores. His father will be the one to tell him, of course.

    I found CareCure doing searched on the web and clicked on a link one of the Christopher Reeves sites.

    Good Sam seems like a wonderful hospital. The floor he is on only deals with SCI. There is a rehab center there that he will most likely be going to. It is 2 1/2 hours away from where he lives, but his father and sisters will probably move there to be as close to him as possible. Right now his father is staying at Ronald McDonald House (bless them!) and my nieces are staying with other family.

    I am hoping that the psychologist at the hospital will be of some help through this, but the doctors have yet to suggest it. I put in a phone call to that department today and will pursue it myself.
    Last edited by AuntDeena; 05-11-2006 at 10:42 AM.

  10. #20
    Senior Member teesieme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    back home in mn.
    Posts
    1,275
    Quote Originally Posted by felieh
    It sounds like the poor kid has suffered massive injuries to his body. I wonder if initially you could soften the potential blow by telling him that his body has suffered tremendous damage and shock and that in the coming days and weeks, things will sort out for themselves and he'll see what kind of function he has. But use the massive injuries as a way to soften the message.
    I agree with felieh.
    Don't let ANYONE tell him he will never walk again. Keep alert to those who seem negative and get them the hell away from your nephew. Clergy is good, pyschologist...maybe...but I'd have a one on one with any person I was considering or want to be around when the time seems right to talk about the what if's, no matter their being professional or family.
    I don't know that I would just tell him about his friend. I guess I couldn't until he asked of this himself is what I am thinking.
    My heart aches for you and yours but there is hope and he is alive. Take care~ T.
    "I want to make a difference! However small it may be~ as long as it's a positive one, then this is what my life will have been about and I will go knowing I did my best.~ T.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •