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Thread: Children for the Disabled by the Disabled

  1. #1
    Senior Member Norm's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Children for the Disabled by the Disabled

    I've read a few posts on here of people wanting children & I was wondering if this could be a good Idea or a little too out there. I've seen different shows over the years about gay male & female lesbian couples wanting children but not wanting to use a sperm bank or couldn't because rejection over their gay lifestyle. The lesbian female couple would search for a gay male couple or gay male or vise versa & they would agree to have a child together & both would take turns raising the child. In one case the lesbian female couple had the main rights & the gay male couple would visit once in a while. The same idea could be done for two disabled people who want a child. After signing an Agreement / Contract. The male could donate the sperm for insemination & the female could be inseminated with the sperm at a clinic. Then they could raise the child according to the agreement or contract. I'm think this could work for SCI males & females who want children but who haven't found the right mate or because of age they are running out of time. Females can always go to a sperm bank, how expensive that is I don't know, but for males finding a surrogate would be a lot harder. This idea could solve both problems. Please give me your feedback I'd like to know what everyone thinks, Thanx.
    Last edited by Norm; 04-30-2006 at 09:24 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    The sperm bank option really isn't that expensive .. at least not when I looked into it. It's spooky, can choose hair colour, eye colour, personality traits, sports-minded etc .... ancestry ...
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #3
    Senior Member Norm's Avatar
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    Jodie Foster used a sperm bank. I read somewhere she chose a donor with a very high IQ.

  4. #4
    Wouldn't adoption be as good without the pain of child birth? I believe gays are allowed to adopt, why not us?
    C2/3 quad since February 20, 1985.

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    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    I believe it's been discussed before that certain foreign countries will allow a single disabled person to adopt.

    I'd love to! It's a lot of money though ... unless you can find a church to sponsor you ... and with my shift work it wouldn't work out.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  6. #6
    Norm, also keep in mind that most men with SCI don't ejaculate, and may require expensive treatments such as the Ferticare or electroejaculation to obtain semen. In addition, even with these interventions, most men with SCI have a poor sperm count or poor quality sperm, or both. Many men who do father children therefore require very expensive ART procedures such as invitro or ICSI, which also requires the woman to take fertility drugs and go through multiple surgical procedures. Even with all of this, most of the best SCI fertility programs have only a 30% success rate (actual live births).

    Both donor sperm (either private donation or sperm banks) are an option for many couples, as is adoption. Adoption is possible for many couples, but is very difficult for a single person with a disability. While adoption agencies who turn you down simply because you have a disability would be in violation of the ADA, they can turn you down if there is a question of your ability to provide for the support or safety of the child. In a couple with one AB parent, this is not generally a good reason to prevention adoption, but it could be for a single parent adoption.

    (KLD)

  7. #7
    Senior Member Norm's Avatar
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    I guess that ends that Idea.

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    After reading this post, I am left with a sinking feeling in my guts.
    I guess seeing the word "child" and "contract" in the same sentence is just a big red flag.

    With so many kids being forced to live out thier lives in lousy situations, isn't it a shame we could not have a more direct course in adoption?

    Speaking with a lady in New England, I found out something that made my blood boil.
    She was unable to adpot. Not because of her disability, but because of where she lived.
    Even though she could care for the child, New Horizons would not allow a child in.
    Even the case worker involved for the child could not fathom it.
    How ironic that a housing situation created to promote living on ones own and out of a SNF... was the true holdback on this subject.

  9. #9
    Norm,
    Are you looking for a surregate mom or what, if you are let me know maybe I can help.
    Alice

  10. #10
    sorry about the spelling in last post.
    Alice

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