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Thread: My mom is getting tired and old.

  1. #1

    My mom is getting tired and old.

    My mom has been taking care of me for 3 years almost 4 now, she's getting really tired and getting old almost 50 now,i feel really bad and need to do something. i'm also getting tired of just being home. I'm 24 c5-c6. I really wanna move out but i dont know if i will be able to do it alone. i have medicaid and my only source of income is SSI. i recently started school after 3 years i have not yet tried to drive, im not sure if its possible for me to drive. i really think its time for me to move on but i dont know where to start.

    hopefully i will be going to greece this summer and if i somehow manage to stay there that would be my dream but if i come back i would like to move out and start out fresh. but like i said i have no idea where to start. i know i can get help 4 hours a day 2 in the morning and 2 at night from this service that medicaid has. i need help with alot of things like transfers bathing and bowel, i have a suprapubic cath i think i can manage emptying it by myself if needed. also i do need help changing, cooking etc i can do alot by myself except the important stuff. i guess

  2. #2
    I agree, independence should be your primary objective.

    With all of the people here, the vast amount of experience, and wealth of knowledge I'm sure that, at your level, you can and should strive to be independent.

    If nothing else your education should be the stepping stone towards better job opportunities which will then lead to more income which will then provide more options and choices than your current situation.

    Good luck and get started. There's no time like the present.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by yiannit
    My mom has been taking care of me for 3 years almost 4 now, she's getting really tired and getting old almost 50 now,i feel really bad and need to do something. i'm also getting tired of just being home. I'm 24 c5-c6. I really wanna move out but i dont know if i will be able to do it alone. i have medicaid and my only source of income is SSI. i recently started school after 3 years i have not yet tried to drive, im not sure if its possible for me to drive. i really think its time for me to move on but i dont know where to start.

    hopefully i will be going to greece this summer and if i somehow manage to stay there that would be my dream but if i come back i would like to move out and start out fresh. but like i said i have no idea where to start. i know i can get help 4 hours a day 2 in the morning and 2 at night from this service that medicaid has. i need help with alot of things like transfers bathing and bowel, i have a suprapubic cath i think i can manage emptying it by myself if needed. also i do need help changing, cooking etc i can do alot by myself except the important stuff. i guess

    I'm in a similar situation yiannit. I'm 20, a C 5/6 and my mom turns 48 tomorrow. I'm going to live on campus next year with two of my buddies.

    My mom only really helps me on weekends, since my PCA comes in the mornings for like 1-2 hours. I'm able to get in bed at night. I would suggest starting to drive, it makes a big difference. The way I acheive learning how to get independent at something is writing down everything I can't do, then working on them one by one. That's how I got independent with caths and going to bed.

    Do you use a manual chair or power? If manual then get some power assist wheels.

    I can't really tell you as much as someone who does live away from home but, that's my 2 cents.
    -------7-23-04----------
    C5/6- Workin' on Recovery
    www.darrentempleton.com
    www.pushtowalknj.org

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    I'm C5/6 and have never lived at home since my accident, almost 3yrs. I live on my own, with PCA 3 1/2hrs a day non-bowl days, and 4 1/2hrs aday on bowl days.

    I use 1 1/2hr or 2 1/2hrs AM
    1hr at supper
    1hr at bedtime.

    I get lunch made and put in the fridge.

    I use my freinds and mainly my family to help with groceries, and small stuff i need done. I can't transfer so that screws me, to skinny, too tall i fall like a noodle.

    It's very possible to do, even where your living now. Starting your PCA's now wouuld help your mom, and when you do finally find a place and get the confidence, your PCA's are trained and your comfortable.

    DO IT DO IT DO IT

  5. #5
    yeah we triedgetting pcas here but they all sucked, but now my mom gets their payment but i guess i'll have to find a pca that is good for me. i do have a manual chair its a power assist. its really hard for me to put myself to bed because of spasticity and not no triceps. also with $600 bucks a month itll be impossible for me to get a place and then i'll have to find one thats accessible probably. and driving will be tough because i cant transfer independently

  6. #6
    Senior Member darty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yiannit
    yeah we triedgetting pcas here but they all sucked, but now my mom gets their payment but i guess i'll have to find a pca that is good for me. i do have a manual chair its a power assist. its really hard for me to put myself to bed because of spasticity and not no triceps. also with $600 bucks a month itll be impossible for me to get a place and then i'll have to find one thats accessible probably. and driving will be tough because i cant transfer independently

    Hi,

    I'm c5-c6 26 years post and still need some help, about 1 hour am and 1 hour pm. You can learn just by trial and error or get some tips from us old guys in here. I drive, cook, shop, transfer with minimal assistance and am pretty much on my own once my butt hits the chair till bed time. You CAN do more than you think just try to solve one problem at a time and you will get more confidence.

    Good Luck to you.....

  7. #7
    Little steps man....start at home with a pca you can trust and branch out from there.Theres lots of Quads here on there own,it can be done..I remember my first night on my own,its a little scary at first but you'll love it later..

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    Yha hear Yha Shaun..... I went straight to my own place..... EX stayed that night, but after that I was all alone, new city, new aprtmnt, new life. I moved into low income housing with the crack whores and dealers and I couldnt lock my door at night so that my workers could get in in the morning. FUN

    You should be able to find subsidized housing, I pay 85 a month for mine, and make the same as you.

    You gotta get some PCA's..... keep try'n to find okay people and train them YOUR way or the highway..... Even 1 shift aday your mom will be so less stressed.

    GOOD LUCK

  9. #9
    Senior Member justadildo's Avatar
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    just remember, if you don't really want it..it really won't happen.........you have to give 200%, 100 is'nt enough....you have to want independance with all thats in you or it won't work......darty is right, you can do SO much more than you think....and shaun too, it IS scary......but you don't know what you can do if you don't try, and theres nothin to be scared of (the boogyman ain't real)

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by yiannit
    yeah we triedgetting pcas here but they all sucked, but now my mom gets their payment but i guess i'll have to find a pca that is good for me. i do have a manual chair its a power assist. its really hard for me to put myself to bed because of spasticity and not no triceps. also with $600 bucks a month itll be impossible for me to get a place and then i'll have to find one thats accessible probably. and driving will be tough because i cant transfer independently
    I was in a simular situation. My mom was doing night care every night, and it really wore her down. Plus she has a slipped disc in her back now, so we hired someone to do night care for week days to give her a break. You will be able to do things yourself with practice and determination. Make your workers wait while you practice doing things yourself! I'm a c6 2yrs post with no triceps, and I'm able to get into bed myself but not out yet. If you can find a way to better control your spasms, it can definatley be done. Just take things one at a time and you'll get there!

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