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Thread: Bowel Movements / Sex

  1. #1
    Senior Member ChopperChick's Avatar
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    Thanks for all of the advice and support!
    Last edited by ChopperChick; 04-16-2006 at 03:43 PM.

  2. #2
    A bowel program is designed with a combination of the right diet, medications, timing, techniques and equipment so that he will empty his bowel every day or every other day at a set time and not have to worry about it. He should not be using diapers...either now or in the future. An occasional bowel accident (1-2/year) might be expected, but more than this needs a better designed bowel program. Depending on where he is getting his rehab, the nurses may or may not know a lot about SCI bowel management. If they don't, then we can try to help him with the fine tuning. Don't settle for diapers...this is a symbol of giving up on a good program, which is possible. Where is he getting his rehab?

    If they have not offered him the booklet on bowel management from the Consortium for Spinal Cord Medicine (and shame on them if they have not), then download it yourself here and share this with him:

    Neurogenic Bowel: What You Should Know

    Sex is definately not over for either of you. You should be getting education and counseling about this at the rehab center. Insist upon it. At his level he should be able to have reflex erections. For many men with SCI, these are sufficient for intercourse. If not, then the oral ED drugs work well for most men at his level of injury. You have to be more creative about things like positioning, and plan ahead for so that he can take care of bowel and bladder issues first. Finding ways to provide him with sexual pleasure will be a challenge for you. Exploring non-genital areas of his body (such as his nipples, neck, earlobes, etc.) with his feedback on what is and is not working is a place to start. Some people with SCI are able to learn to be orgasmic again with non-genital stimulation. You may want to do some reading over on the Relationships and Sexuality forum for more detailed information on this. Ask questions there, and we will try to help.

    (KLD)

  3. #3
    Senior Member ChopperChick's Avatar
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    We have Kaiser and they are ready to move him to the facility in Vallejo hopefully today. I hear it is a good facility so if they don't offer any informtaion I will definitely ask. Thank you so much for the response. It was very helpful

  4. #4
    I was in Vallejo for my inpatient rehab. I'm now there for outpatient rehab every Wednesday at like three. Who is his PT?

  5. #5
    Senior Member ChopperChick's Avatar
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    They didn't move him yet. They are doing a leg surgery this morning and then he will probably go next week. So what is the rehab like? Can you tell me your level of injury and your experience there?

  6. #6
    The rehab is good, but I have to concur with the other carecure member who went to Vallejo, in that they do try to get you home and back in for outpatient asap. At first I was like, that's messed up, but then I realized that it's the best thing for you. The way it's structured is that they will try and get your husband as independent as possible. He'll probably stay inpatient for about 3-5 weeks depending on his leg surgery. I'm assuming he's in one of those turtle shells because he's a thoracic level injury. So they'll aim to get him to the point where he can do basic transfers on his own. Then they'll send you guys home for like a couple of months so that the bones in his back can heal. Then they'll have you guys come back for his intense rehab. To get neurological improvement back they use PNF. It's called proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation. Depending on the severity of his injury, this might be a pretty effective therapy. After about a couple of weeks they will discharge you guys home and then you'll be admitted back in as an outpatient where they will discuss long-term goals with you guys.
    I'm a T-4 injury ASIA B. I started my outpatient rehab there about three weeks ago. I'm almost done learning to do all of my transfers independently, as this is one of their requirements to learn to ambulate with bracing (This was one of my goals for outpatient). It sounds like your hubb's injury was pretty severe, so you guys might not see neurological improvement right away, but the best advice I can give to your husband is to work his ass off and follow every little bit of the therapist's instructions. If they see you work hard, they definitely reciprocate.

  7. #7
    Senior Member ChopperChick's Avatar
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    Thanks Tuf

    Yeah.... I was telling him, rehab is a privilege not a right. His attitude is good. For me rigt now it is hard balancing visits and time at home with the kids. How were you in the hospital? I really don't want to go tonight. I know it sounds selfish. I have been there everynight and the kids need me home too. Plus, the Easter Bunny is supposed tocome tonight..... Mike will be cool if I tell him all of that, but I have no idea how it is to be in the hospital.... So lonely, and having to deal with this injury....
    His brother, mother, sister and 2 friends are visiitng today which gives me a little break....

  8. #8
    ChopperChick:

    The one thing I do regret is not giving my mom and girlfriend the encouragement to rest at home. From the patient's point of view, I know it sucks being in that hospital bed but I know I was guilty of it and I'm sure others on this forum were too. Our family and close ones suffer and they need a break once in a while too. The drive from where my family lives to vallejo is about 1.25 hours, and according to my mom, people drive like suicide bombers on highway 80. So, you need to give yourself a break. Every time I even thought my girlfriend was overdoing it between me, school, work, gas prices, etc., I would just tell her to stay home and rest, we could talk on the phone. The thought of her getting into a horrific accident because she felt obligated to see me would cross my mind and I would gag. The same went for my mom. So, to sum it up, don't overdo it. You might need to sit back and take some time for yourself. It will take its toll on you. I can tell youre a real trooper because of all your posts and thirst for knowledge.

  9. #9
    Oh and to answer your question...your hubbs should be cool. If youve been with him non stop since his admission to the hospital, it might be scary at first, but sometimes he might need to be alone. My reasons for wanting to be alone sometimes were because I wanted to see how my emotions would change when there was no one around. I needed to see what it would be like. The hospital is boring. You get this stupid TV with like 4 and a half channels. I'm into my XBOX big time ( I know I'm too old for that... but hey, if I can't be with my fellow marines in the superbowl overseas, I might as well pretend with my military games!!!) So I had my brother bring in my game system and we plugged it in (This was on the 4th floor) On the 3rd floor (rehab) I actually highjacked a TV and brought it into my room so I could play. Ultimately, when I played, I forgot about my injury. This is what your aim should be with your husband. Get him a portable DVD player to play his favorite movies. Believe it or not, the same laptop I'm typing this from right now is the one my mom surprised me with on my birthday!!!. I even used my 6mo free AOL package that came with it to get internet in my hospital room!!!. So those would be my two ideas for you. I wish I would have known about CareCure when I was in rehab, I would have been on it all day!

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