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Thread: suicide

  1. #111
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    I just read the other day Canada passed some forms for assisted suicide! Just saying

  2. #112
    Senior Member alan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Denied2016 View Post
    I'm sure we all fear death. Some more than others. But a lot of times this life feels harder than oblivion. The mental stress is enough; trying to sort out losing so much of many, many years. All for this? Feel like a fuckin science experiment somedays. Everything is uncomfortable still. Even sitting down is awkward as hell without any core muscles and adding in pain. No cure or fix seems anywhere near. Most likely we are stuck this way for life. Broken bodies and well aware of how it used to be. People can only take so much. Some more than others...no judgement here. This new, SCI-world definitely takes more than it gives.
    Actually, since my near drowning, which resulted from the racing dive that broke my neck, during which I did not allow myself to panic as per instructions from years of swimming lessons, I have not feared death per se. I got myself so calm and peaceful under that water, I said all my goodbyes to family and friends, and was ready to go. I did continue trying to prevent myself from inhaling water, but eventually I blacked out. As things turned out, the friends I was with did find me and pulled me out (obviously, or I wouldn't be posting this.) What I do fear is a long, painful death. Quick heart attack, stroke, or anything else fast, I'll take it.
    Alan

    Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  3. #113
    Senior Member alan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAMESRRR View Post
    I am assuming you have try Cannabodial? or the better stuff? It sounds very excruciating. I doubt this would fix it, but perhaps it would take the edge off.
    I've tried Marinol, with no relief. When I tried regular pot (brownies), it actually made my pains worse by heightening my perceptions of them. If they ever get medical marijuana straight here in Maryland, I'd have to find a strain that targets pain without that effect.
    Alan

    Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  4. #114
    This injury feels like a long death. It's painful waking up to this everyday as well as knowing it isn't going away. It's fucking grievous. Almost like attending your own funeral, daily...But they patch us up and tell us to find "different" ways of doing things. Guess there isn't a choice, truly. We're stuck injured for the rest of our days and what's gone is gone. Permanently. Does anyone still think a "cure" is coming for this catastrophic disability? I'm guessing not in my lifetime. Seems like we're learning more about how far off we are from rebuilding the nervous system. So being that this is (as of now) for life...I'm very less afraid of death also, Alan. Not really into blowing my anatomy across the room either, or becoming even more disabled or disfigured. I do wish assisted was legal here- even just as a back up plan for when I get too nauseatingly sick of dragging my limp body around, not feeling my penis, or not feeling 75% of my body for that matter. But it's not...it's only legal if you are already dying. Just gotta suck it up and reduce or bury my dreams. Time to get diggin

  5. #115
    Senior Member Tim C.'s Avatar
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    Despite my best intentions I continue to exist. Not my first choice mind you. That would be to recover and help others like myself. Second would be to recover and visit the ghost of caregiver-past. Those who chose to inflict hell on me thru their selfish, abusive ways I’d like to give it right back to them. I’d “Negan” them with a dose of “Lucille” so they wouldn’t forget.
    In absence of this, I’d just assume succumb to the conditions of which I suffer sooner than later. I miss my son and need to be with him.

  6. #116
    Must be so difficult missing a son combined with all the affects of this injury. I can only sympathize, but in no way can understand it personally.

    I know I miss the carefree person I used to be. 30 something and having almost everything change in an instant is very hard to swallow. All the new procedures and medical appointments reassure me just how real and permanent this is. Sometimes I get thru it decently, other times it shakes me up inside. Wishing you the best, Tim. Or um, Negan

  7. #117
    Quote Originally Posted by Ggerry View Post
    I just read the other day Canada passed some forms for assisted suicide! Just saying
    Doesn't work like that, although someone with enough convection and a severe enough injury ( yet still able to communicate efficiently A luxury few of us appreciate) could plead their case. Nonetheless it's yet another thing the weak minded liberal's fucked up
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 12-14-2016 at 09:38 AM.

  8. #118
    Quote Originally Posted by Tim C. View Post
    Despite my best intentions I continue to exist. Not my first choice mind you. That would be to recover and help others like myself. Second would be to recover and visit the ghost of caregiver-past. Those who chose to inflict hell on me thru their selfish, abusive ways I?d like to give it right back to them. I?d ?Negan? them with a dose of ?Lucille? so they wouldn?t forget.
    In absence of this, I?d just assume succumb to the conditions of which I suffer sooner than later. I miss my son and need to be with him.
    Tim how are you doing, I'd say I'm glad you're still here but I feel that that's completely inappropriate given our predicament ( yours much more severe than mine, and by God I better have the self-respect and full to realize the difference) . Your comments about the caregivers really resonate with me, the sheer helplessness I have felt since this injury has happened creates the perfect breeding ground for nihilism. Shockingly it's only to be emphasized by certain caregivers has really made me despise myself and lose all self-respect, it made me realize how pitiful and pathetic this life really is. People with injuries as bad as mine or worse (yet to meet one of those) that try and convince me otherwise, end up only exasperating and making the reality more obvious. There defensiveness and desperate expressions of I did this I did that look look are all too obvious in their nature to me now ( I know it's kind a rude but I must speak my mind, and anyways if someone is deeply bothered by what I'm saying it only and emboldens the tragedy that i see). I digress, but at the same time the rage that has filled my body unable to release it in anyway not even being capable of yelling loud because of my weak lungs it eats at my self. I always used to say I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but some people really do need to be enlightened on what true suffering is, that includes some paraplegics on here. True suffering is permanent, it literally affects every aspect of life down to every last little detail! it has no merit it has no convoluted twist to make it look like a feat of strength to live with, with True ugly suffering your determination and willpower and strength is literally irrrelevant and unuseable to say the least; dignity, freedom, principal, integrity throw those out the window. The best you can do, is instantly drop your expectations for life not to mention your definitions for things like dignity; which usually takes time ( I hope so at least I wanted to do that at the drop of the hat is A disturbing soul) before you're able to actually convictionally do it. The whole "it took me five years to accept" line really just means buckle yourself in the harsh reality will break you down until like A kidnapping victim develops Stockholm syndrome it'll become your reality, and at that point you'll be able to "Redefine" yourself and maybe even call it a life. The pivotal rule to that don't ever compare this "life" to anything resembling able-bodied life ; Better yet don't even think about it. And after long enough time maybe you'll get by, even convince yourself that you're impressed and proud in doing so; that reality still perplexes me I never want to reach that point...
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 12-14-2016 at 09:36 AM.

  9. #119
    Assisted should be legal for anyone of us who wants it. Shouldn't have to fight like hell to plead your case. Over population is already doing the planet such wonders. Most people don't use assisted once approved for it anyways. Not like it's an easy choice. Some due process would weed out the weary...But if you can't walk ever again, you piss and shit yourself, your sexual organs aren't really yours anymore (they're like your legs...they move!... but it has nothing to do with conscious thought and takes chemicals to control em) there should be a choice for when it gets tiresome. When enough is enough. But that'll never happen in my lifetime. Would be too comforting to have an option whilst digging through the SCI bullshit. Suck it up and deal with it. Here's your bag to urinate in...

  10. #120
    Senior Member Tim C.'s Avatar
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    Hey, this is my thread, everybody off.
    I commiserate here. I got the monopoly on it damnit!
    I've been busy trying to figure why I bothered to last 14.5 yrs like this..only to make it thru 2016 the absolute worst year.
    Why?

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