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Thread: suicide

  1. #91
    Senior Member Tim C.'s Avatar
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    Scraper: "Dead On" comment

    Quote Originally Posted by Scaper1 View Post
    Yes, very sorry Tim.

    Just to add, I don't feel particularly suicidal until caregiver issues rear their ugly head, as they always do. Nothing quite brings your helplessness and dependence into sharper focus than that "oh sorry I can't make it to work" email.
    No pun intended

  2. #92
    Senior Member Tim C.'s Avatar
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    After a brief respite and feedback from our respected moderators at CC, a thumbs up/thumbs down POLL based on the pros/cons issues going on in my life would, pursuant to their thinking, would be in poor taste.
    Do others here agree with this?
    Do we need a poll on a poll?

  3. #93
    Tim, I am so fortunate to be an incomplete C5/6 and only have to deal with neuropathic burning pain. Our SCI experiences are 1000% different. The only way I can partially grasp what you go through is because I was on a vent for a short time.

    I want you to share your feelings and what is on your mind, but a poll is a no-go brother.

  4. #94
    Senior Member Tim C.'s Avatar
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    Jim,
    What, No poll allowed for a poll to decide on having a poll to weigh the ups and downs on the ups and downs?
    How about conducting a poll vis-a-vis innuendo?
    It's too big of a decision I think just for a single person.
    But I accept the CC rule of law.

  5. #95
    Quote Originally Posted by Tim C. View Post
    Jim,
    What, No poll allowed for a poll to decide on having a poll to weigh the ups and downs on the ups and downs?
    How about conducting a poll vis-a-vis innuendo?
    It's too big of a decision I think just for a single person.
    But I accept the CC rule of law.
    I've said this before it is your life, only you can decide whether it is worth continuing on with it, it might be a big decision but only you can make it. There are a number of exit forums if you want to discuss it with like minded others and much as I respect anyone who takes that decision as I know that I will I don't think basing it on a vote in a cure forum would be one I'd pursue.

  6. #96
    I'm sure we all fear death. Some more than others. But a lot of times this life feels harder than oblivion. The mental stress is enough; trying to sort out losing so much of many, many years. All for this? Feel like a fuckin science experiment somedays. Everything is uncomfortable still. Even sitting down is awkward as hell without any core muscles and adding in pain.

    No cure or fix seems anywhere near. Most likely we are stuck this way for life. Broken bodies and well aware of how it used to be. People can only take so much. Some more than others...no judgement here. This new, SCI-world definitely takes more than it gives.

  7. #97
    Quote Originally Posted by Jim View Post
    Tim, I am so fortunate to be an incomplete C5/6 and only have to deal with neuropathic burning pain. Our SCI experiences are 1000% different. The only way I can partially grasp what you go through is because I was on a vent for a short time.

    I want you to share your feelings and what is on your mind, but a poll is a no-go brother.
    Im an Asia A and I have unending very substantial nerve pain, literally feels like my legs are on fire at the moment and sharp pieces of glass stabbing my arms has gotten worse courtesy of a cyst on my spinal cord. not that is different from any other second before hand just saying. The nerve pain just gets completely overshadowed by my chart topping extremely violent constant spasm's AND spasticity ( I have both) and my minimum five times a day or more bouts of severe autonomic dysreflexia that is undiagnosable and untreatable (evidently not a normal response). Why am I starting the self-pity bullshit, plain and simple to emphasize the whole only incompletes have nerve pain is absolute horseshit. But what is scientifically proven is incompletes have more function, more sensation, better quality of life, far less secondary complications ( ironically this includes synrix s) both in number and severity,and if they're lucky enough to recover quite well the cost of living with their disability can be drastically reduced, not to mention give them a lot more privacy and freedom, all depends. Needless to say nerve pain is more than worth it,and of little consequence compared to other options/scenarios.
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 11-14-2016 at 03:22 AM.

  8. #98
    Quote Originally Posted by Denied2016 View Post
    I'm sure we all fear death. Some more than others. But a lot of times this life feels harder than oblivion. The mental stress is enough; trying to sort out losing so much of many, many years. All for this? Feel like a fuckin science experiment somedays. Everything is uncomfortable still. Even sitting down is awkward as hell without any core muscles and adding in pain.

    No cure or fix seems anywhere near. Most likely we are stuck this way for life. Broken bodies and well aware of how it used to be. People can only take so much. Some more than others...no judgement here. This new, SCI-world definitely takes more than it gives.
    Well first we would have to know what oblivion is and what it's like to come to that conclusion! On this topic we often get ahead of ourselves, it's human nature really. I always get a good chuckle when THE person comes out and says "dying is the cowards way out " there's always at least one who says something along thous lines; oh that says so much about them...

  9. #99
    Quote Originally Posted by Oddity View Post
    What's there to talk about? If you want to kill yourself, do it. If you want to have a commiserating circle-jerk, get a therapist. If you want to be talked out of it, call a hot-line. Not very complicated.
    Your touchiness on this subject never ceases to amaze me. Still with that mentality, if only it was that simple.?

  10. #100
    Quote Originally Posted by Tim C. View Post
    Denied: very thoughtful


    Oddity: obvious it hasn?t impacted your life, that?s a good thing, you should be grateful.

    My question is basically, when you evaluate your life, your continuous struggle, the drain in resources needed to keep you going with so little you?re able to give back because your injury/ pain is so severe your quality of life consists of the 4 hour process of getting you up, you sitting idle (just existing) in the chair for ten hours at c4 level, without caregiver to assist you in accomplishing goals, no family available or interested in helping you accomplish goals or contribute in any meaningful way, to have two meals put in front of you each day that you try your level best not to spill on yourself or keyboard, and then initiate the process to return to bed, sleep until pain awakens you, Lather-Rinse-Repeat
    Meanwhile you go thru caregivers like blu-chux, your wife of 30+years fills in to help in-between caregivers making it clear she?s doing you a "favor? and is otherwise sick of the whole past 15 years of sci intrusion to our lives, makes it clear your high level sci was the cause of family discord, including the death of son (aka) best friend in life due to OD, family savings depleted to the dreaded caregivers invading our home, and now your mere continued existence stands in the way of her wanting to sell your home to move and start anew in different state. You?re invited to go to the next home albeit the home you need and the home she wants are diametrically opposite. So you clearly don?t fit. That said, the network you took years to develop for your care is hanging in jeopardy if you move.
    So yeah, there?s a bit more to the ?is it still worth it? discussion.
    I completely hear you, eventually for people that are fully dependent and have to pay for everything that include showering pissing shitting, getting a glass of water etc one way or another you have to pay for it in this kind of situation it can become kind of a logistics thing. But to be fair you can't expect paraplegics or even incomplete injuries Who made decent recovery to understand this (I find it absolutely hysterical that lower injuries get defensive about this kind of remark's but it's just simple fact,if anything they should be happy ) you cannot possibly understand the implications unless you live it every day for quite some time it takes years to get the full picture. It's amusing when people just say oh why don't you get out more. they just can't possibly understand the scenario where it's not remotely that simple, and even if you do accomplishing something it's a one off thing, not something that you can enjoy on a regular basis. And then other times they say where is your strength, where is your resilience, often I let them remain ignorant but in reality all those things are irrelevant because we lack even the most minimum of physical requirements to take advantage of something like "Determination or resilience". In these kinds of scenarios a more relevant hope is a caregiver or friends generosity how much someone is willing to contribute and if it's affordable so you can at least take advantage of it semi-regularly. As time goes on sustainability becomes a serious concern. Keep in mind that in these kind of depended lifestyles the few limited options that are available rest entirely on how much you can afford to pay for "assistance" in order to participate; as the resources dwindle and/or income remains at best average only allowing so much spending the walls of reality start closing in. of course people don't understand that, how could they. It's kind of funny in an extremely depressing way but to so many people with spinal cord injury, bedtimes are not even a realized implication of their injury Haha fuck.

    Just like people who handle most of their caregiving don't understand the ugly almost mechanical indignity of having people handle The ugly stuff. It's like a daily assembly line of complete shame The most you can do is just remain blank as people go to work on you; Hahaha I literally laughed it's just so wrong that it's become funny at this point, modern medicine for you freedom, dignity, individuality, principles last thing to worry about

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