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Thread: New Here

  1. #1

    New Here

    Hi, Im new here.

    I am a girlfriend to a wonderful man. he is a c4,5&6 quad. He has some movement of his arms. I am his main care giver.

    I am very greatful that I found this site! reading through the posts has reminded me that I am not alone in this way of life. It can be so overwhelming at times. I love my Bf with all my heart and soul and want to spend the rest of my life with him.

    Things have been very hard lately, alot of fighting. I know that I am just overwhelmed right now and am honery because of it. It has helped me to find this site and read that so many other people go through the same trials that we are going through.

    I met my bf post injury, he actually was injured 20 years ago. when I moved in I took over most of his cares. I wanted it this way and I knew what I was getting into. (my ex was also paralyzed) so, I did not jut jump into this.

    anyway, it is great that I found this place and will be a regular here.

    thanks for listening!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    So. California
    Hello and a big welcome! Has anyone told you how special you are? My son's girlfriend couldn't dump him fast enough! No worries, he has moved on and has a new girlfriend that is not afraid of the chair! God bless you and may He keep you smiling!

  3. #3
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Welcome Faithinme ..... its a mixed blessing having to seek out a site like ours ... sorry for the need but thankful for the support! I hope things improve for you and your sig other ... if you do a search you will find many past discussions about the effects of caregiving on a relationship ... its a delicate balance and requires continual maintenance ! Come here to vent any time!
    Here's one link for a start :
    And one more :

    Last edited by Obieone; 03-26-2006 at 09:31 AM.
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi

    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    In your nightmares
    Congratulations to your boyfriend for finding you. May you both be happy together forever.

  5. #5
    Welcome! We all get overwelmed sometimes and there is fighting but there is way more good times. I try to remember my husbands feelings when I'm helping him because I know I'm ok with it but he must feel helpless when he can't get the toothpaste on his toothbrush. You know what I mean? We have fondness Friday where he can ask for all the help he wants and not feel guilty. It's one day a week he can not think about how bad he feels. He also says he doesn't want me to wipe his ass for the rest of his life, so we too have to figure things out after 5 years. Good luck to the both of you. Feel free to ask any question to any of us that have been there!

  6. #6
    Hi Faithinme,
    I'm a lucky C5-6 quad. I have triceps and upper body function and luckier still, a wonderful wife (1 year) who is the wings of my soul. It's natural for many couples, disability or no, to encounter challenges of one kind or another be it financial, in-laws or just life in general. The key is never to lose sight of why you are together. I think you'll find a great resource here to draw from.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Aly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Radford, Va
    The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. ~ Don Juan Matus
    We are Virginia Tech… We must laugh again… No one deserves a tragedy… We are strong, and brave, and innocent, and unafraid…We are better than we think and not quit what we want to be…We are the Hokies…We will prevail, we will prevail, we will prevail. We ARE Virginia Tech! ~ Nikki Giovanni

  8. #8
    Thank you all so much for the welcomes!! I am so greatful to find this site. Our relationship has been very very challenging. Even though we have our fights there are also so many Wonderful times.

    I know that he is my soulmate. He is my best friend and I couldn't ask for more. We are just trying to find our balance in things.

    thanks for the support!!

  9. #9
    This is a great site for blowing off steam. I'll have to go back and read the by-laws, but I think we're all entitled to one pity party a month (more if hospitalization is involved). Not only will non-caregivers sneak in here and give you props, but the folks here KNOW what you're talking about. Your friends can give you a shoulder to cry on, but here, well, we GET it.

  10. #10
    Welcome Faithinme
    I'm a wife of a T-4 Complete--he is the love of my life but i do understand the frustration and things you go through. we have been married for one in a half years now and it's scary to think i'm freaking out now and having so much trouble taking care of things when he can't--please feel free to vent--i'm open ears--hehe
    [/FONT]Amber & Ricky

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