A bird was sitting on a branch, doing nothing although looking well preened and puffed up with what could only be a sense of importance. A small
Fluffy bunny hippity-hopped on by and stopped in his tracks...struck with admiration and envy "I want to be like you" said Hossenpheffer. "May I, like you, sit and do nothing?"
The bird cocked his head, assuming a pose of thoughtful consideration to this humble request "Sure, why not."
The rabbit thanked the bird profusely, sat on the ground below the bird and rested.
Suddenly a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

The thing that is to be learned from this: to be sitting around doing nothing one must be sitting very high up.


A turkey came upon a bull resting himself in the shade of a tree.
The turkey sighed..."oh, how I wish I could sit in that tree...if I were strong like you I could get up there"
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients, better than Red Bull my droppings are."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next
day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him down and carried him home for the family's supper.

To be learned from this: bull sh!t might get you to the top...but it can't keep you there


While flying south for the winter a beautiful songbird was separated from her flock. Tired and malnourished she became too slow to escape the change of seasons...succumbing to the elements she dropped to the ground and lay there...shivering and on the verge of freezing to death.
As she contemplated her wretched fate a cow passed by and dropped dung on her.
The bird was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude! Saved! The steaming pile of dung was keeping her warm!
Filled with joy at her reprieve from capricious fate she burst out with a song of thanks and praise for the powers that led to her salvation.
That was when a wolf passed and came to investigate the noise....
The cheerful hymn led the wolf to the singing pile of sh!t where he dug out the bird and ate her.

And why this sad tale? Why to teach you these great professional truths:
Not everyone that sh!ts on you is your enemy
Not everyone that gets you out of deep sh!t is your friend
When you're in deep sh!t it's time to keep your stupid mouth shut.