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Thread: Why do you want kids?

  1. #61
    I can't remember why, 17 years ago, as a 29 year old married-4-years ab that already had a 9 year old stepson...Why did I want him?

    But now I can tell you what he is.

    My biggest aggravation
    Greatest joy
    Greatest love
    Source of enormous fear
    Source of tremendous pride
    Source of frequent embarrassment
    Source of endless marital conflict
    Huge
    Clutzy
    Ornery
    ADD
    Stinky-footed
    Girl crazy
    With my eyes
    Bright
    Unmotivated
    Sneaky
    But-always-gets-caught
    Travelling partner
    Fishing bud
    Does 10 small things for me a day (Jake? Let the dog out!)
    Makes me laugh more than anyone or anything else
    Bottomless pit.

    Looking at that list, maybe you can't tell the positives outweigh the negatives. But I'm his mama, we're a team, I love him and he loves me. World without end, amen.

  2. #62
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stlyin moe
    Of course!

    Like I said earlier having a kid is like trying to explain an orgasm to someone that's never had one. Imagine back to before you were sexually active and think about how "fulfilled" your life was in comparison.

    Sometimes a lack of time prevents me from a proper response and I put together a rough version of what I'm trying to express and it almost always comes off as an asshole remark. I'm trying to get someone's attention in a short amount of time but it never works to achieve the desired thought being provoked.

    I never "wanted" a kid. I never had a burning desire. It wound up happening and thank god it did. Dave you're a great guy. You've overcome more than any human should ever have to. Reward yourself with a kid, the sooner the better and don't let the chair convince you that you'd be a poor parent...

    Even before the chair, I felt ill-equipped to handle the many needs of children. I'm more a romantic, a dreamer, certainly not the handyman type. I'm not the most adept at fixing a car, painting a house, diagnosing electrical problems, anything like that. I think I'll have my hands full just running a home.

    Luckily, my girlfriend, who I'm VERY HAPPY with, loves to cook. But I'll still have my fair share of learning. I'm not sure being a parent is the way to go for me. I just want to settle down, and be responsible for just two people.

  3. #63
    Senior Member mr_coffee's Avatar
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    As long as your g/f is fine without having kids, i don't see a problem. Its your life, if u don't have the urge to poop out some kids then don't.

    Your still young, things may change, maybe one day you will want your girlfriend to poop out a baby or 5.
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  4. #64
    One of the very first questions I asked waking up in the hospital is can I still have children ? I would be heartbroken without the option to have children no matter how hard life is with a SCI I want to know that I am able to have children if I want. I want to have the relationship my mother and I have with my own daughter. I'm turning 24 next month and children prolly won't be till my early thirties since I plan on finishing Master's School, and being as physically ready as I possiabley can be. I'm only about a year and a half post since my accident and to consider children now while still learning would be a definate no. I don't see children being detrimental to my life I see them enhancing them. If it comes to the point where my physical health doesn't allow me to have children my significant other and I will adopt. He is more than supportive with any descion I make about what I can physically do or not do. Children may take time, money, but their love and prescence is worth it to me at least.

  5. #65
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by pianodave
    Even before the chair, I felt ill-equipped to handle the many needs of children. I'm more a romantic, a dreamer, certainly not the handyman type. I'm not the most adept at fixing a car, painting a house, diagnosing electrical problems, anything like that. I think I'll have my hands full just running a home.

    Luckily, my girlfriend, who I'm VERY HAPPY with, loves to cook. But I'll still have my fair share of learning. I'm not sure being a parent is the way to go for me. I just want to settle down, and be responsible for just two people.
    PianoDave,

    I just looked at your profile and realized that my oldest son is exactly 2 days younger than you. Seeing that, all I can say is that you are WAY too young to to even think of having kids, because I am WAY too young to be a Grandma!

    But seriously, I think everyone has said everything pro kids that I can even think of. Settling down and being responsible for just the 2 of you is the first step. The decision of whether to have children, or just being a family of the two of you can wait. From glancing at your other posts, it seems your SCI is only 1-2 years old. Life as a para will continue to get easier (I hope, I was only hurt 16 months ago myself) and you may very well feel differently 2, 5, or 10 years down the road. Don't worry about the whole kid thing right now, you have plenty of time to decide.

    (And for the record, I have 4 kids myself and can't imagine life without them).
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  6. #66
    Having kids made me grow up.
    My kids made me become a better person.
    I am proud of them and of being a parent.

    Although it kind of freaked me out yesterday when my 20 year old daughter called and said she wanted to get a tatoo to remember me by.

  7. #67

    Sap

    Quote Originally Posted by Davey
    Because this guy has made me smile for the last 19 years...
    I am so glad I am not the only sap in this group! I had to grab the tissues!
    www.weitemeyer.net

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