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Thread: Why do you want kids?

  1. #41
    Quote Originally Posted by KiranA
    I got a lil teary-eyed looking at your boy grow up, Davey Thanks for sharing....

    I did too!! What an awesome response!!!
    Shannon
    C6/7 incomplete
    20 yrs post sci

    "falling is easy it's getting back up that becomes the problem, becomes the problem" Staind
    "A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.:" :-)
    - Burt Bacharach

  2. #42

    stuck in the middle

    Having kids has been something I've been thinking abot lately. I feel like I'm on the late bus because I'm 27 yrs old and majority of my peers have wives/families. I'm stuck because I want kids, but then again I don't. Atleast no time soon. My day is so consumed with just doing daily living tasks and classes I don't feel I have the time for children.

    When I was 18 my girlfriend got pregnant, but had a abortion. I often wonder what my life would be like now if I had those kids today. I feel like it would be harder for me to deal with my injury. So when I look at my bro and sis w/ their kids I'm almost glad not not be a parent at this point(which kinda makes me feel bad for feeling this way). I truly think I wouldnt be able to handel it. I'm exhausted just taking care of me, and thats including the help I get from my family.

    I love my neices 2 death, but when they've stayed at my house for a wekend, I'm calling their parents to come and get them..OMG- (2) 3yr olds and a 5 yr old is not a good idea to have all at one time(lol) I love them, though. but what I love even more is that they can go home to their parents..(lol)

    To all who are parents w/ SCI- God Bless You. to me thats a person w/ extreme strength.
    "People Will Forget What You've Said, They'll Forget What You've did, but They'll Never Forget How You Made Them Feel" -Maya Angelou

  3. #43
    Quote Originally Posted by KiranA
    I got a lil teary-eyed looking at your boy grow up, Davey Thanks for sharing....
    Quote Originally Posted by 30something
    I did too!! What an awesome response!!!
    Thanks guys. I've watched my son grow up over the years and now I'm getting a little teary-eyed as he moves out and goes to college . I never knew how much I'd really miss him (and how much he made me laugh every day) until he actually moved out.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Jadis's Avatar
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    Davey, I know what you mean. Starting at age 2, my son would go stay with my folks for a month. Starting at age 7, he started flying by himself to WV to see his biological father. So, one month with my folks in CA, then one month in WV, with a week here inbetween. Usually, i get about 2 weeks of summer with him.

    This year, he will be gone as soon as school is out, if not before and will return three days before school starts. Gah. It's so quiet around here when he's gone and that's not always a good thing.

  5. #45
    Quote Originally Posted by ROYALTY79
    I love my neices 2 death, but when they've stayed at my house for a wekend, I'm calling their parents to come and get them..OMG- (2) 3yr olds and a 5 yr old is not a good idea to have all at one time(lol) I love them, though. but what I love even more is that they can go home to their parents..(lol)

    To all who are parents w/ SCI- God Bless You. to me thats a person w/ extreme strength.
    I love little kids too. They're so much fun to be around and talk to. And damn, they have so much energy. It's amazing how they can run around for so long and play. It tires me out a bit just watching them run all over the place. I wish I were a kid again!

    But they're my nephews and my neighbor's kids and after awhile it's a relief to see them leave. The old saying about relatives (and their kids) staying at your house is like fish. After a couple/few days things begin to stink!

    Or like having a boat. The two best days are the day you first buy it and then the last, when you finally sell it!

    I'm with you Royalty.

    PS. I paid for a couple abortions too when I was in my late teens/early 20s and it was probably for the best as I was paralyzed when I was 24. But you still think about "what coulda been". Geez, they'd be in their 30s now. Hmmmmm?
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  6. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by bob clark
    PS. I paid for a couple abortions too when I was in my late teens/early 20s and it was probably for the best as I was paralyzed when I was 24. But you still think about "what coulda been". Geez, they'd be in their 30s now. Hmmmmm?
    Atleast you had input about the abortion(s). In my case, I didn't. She had without telling me. I find out after procedure was completed. Rumor has it, there was a possibilty of twins. Even tho' I was pretty young at the time, I was pretty excited about becoming a father. BUT...things turned out differently for whatever reasons.....
    "People Will Forget What You've Said, They'll Forget What You've did, but They'll Never Forget How You Made Them Feel" -Maya Angelou

  7. #47
    I met a girl this past summer, who apparently "had no hang-ups about sex" like most uptight chicks did and as a result, enjoyed the company of many men, even when involved in a relationship. That's fine, to each his own, but she wasn't what I would like to call the brightest fish in the pond for numerous reasons but especially because she saw abortion as a form of birth control. In the duration of an extremely short period of time, she had three abortions. It broke my heart to hear that, knowing that I may not be able to have children and here she was acting in such a careless manner and using something that should be used as a last resort as her method of birth control, which she not only admitted to, but joked about.

    I fully believe in a woman's right to choose, but it shouldn't be a choice that she abuses.

  8. #48

    Interesting thread

    I was born with a deformity of my fallopian tubes which after getting married I had corrected in order to conceive. I have one 4 yr. old daughter and have decided ,since being diagnosed finally after 12 yrs. of suffering with syringomyelia from a cervical injury, that she will be my only. Two would be a diservice to my daughter as I only have so much energy to spread around.

    I agree that raising a child takes from your free time for sure. I have found that since my injury everything is a struggle and depression comes easily. Having my daughter changed my life in many ways. She gave me the motivation to get out of bed every morning despite the pain. She gave me the drive to get back on the wagon of diagnosis. I had given up trying to find it after so long and was just living in agony. My injury was not acute and so it was not diagnosed properly for 12 yrs. I get sad sometimes when I feel I can't participate fully in parenting at times but I have a great husband who picks up where I can't and she doesn't miss out.

    I don't work right now and go to school part-time as well as parent. It is not easy but my daughter is my motivation for taking better care of myself. Rather than impeding me in any way she keeps me going, she reminds me of how precious I am to my family and how much I am loved just for who I am. She doesn't judge me and has decided at 4 that she will be a nurse or doctor so she can help people like her Mommy. I say she is a Neurologist in the making. She knows the meaning of spinal cord and neuropathic pain etc... She also has an aunt with a C 6/7 incomplete SCI. My twin. She is my light that guides me through the dark tunnels of SCI. She says it is okay Mommy because we are a family and families help eachother through good and bad times. Pretty wise statement for 4.

    Tanya

  9. #49
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    so maybe one of them will become a sports star or movie star and they can take care of their daddy and pay for his stem cell surgery.

    Plus I can live vicariously through them....lol

    I thought about the same thing Dave. If I was looking for someone to do stuff for me or take care of me, it would be cheaper just to hire professional help. If I was hoping that one of my children would make it big and take care of me financially, I would be better off taking the money required to raise them and invest it.

    The reason can't be quantified. However, I have one main reason and one secret one.

    1. Like most of the others I'm from a big family and have been around lots of kids.

    2. Survival of the fittest. I like to think I'm one of the fittest.

    ..... to refer to those individuals that are functionally most capable to tackle life challenges, i.e. to individuals endowed with phenotypic characteristics which improve most strongly one's probability of survival and reproduction

  10. #50
    For all the women on this post...

    One of the first questions people ask me post sci is "Are you still able to have kids..."

    I'm a walking quad so I bet for those of you ladies with wheels you get the question alot too...

    I would never ask someone something so personal...people can be so rude.

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