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Thread: Why do you want kids?

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by mr coffee
    This forum is going up in flames hah.
    atleast wait on me..............

    Quote Originally Posted by Buck
    I'd like to have someone around that I can boss around all the time.
    no no... that's why i have you around being my lil' bitch...

    Quote Originally Posted by Buck
    Seriously, I have no desire to be a father right now
    NO SHIT!!!!!!!!! REALLY? you have to like women, not men gay boy..

    Seriously for me, i have 3 nephews and 2 nieces... they are the greatest. i enjoy taking them places and we have alot of fun. i can only imagine spoiling my own children and making lots of memories being that i'm just a big kid anyway.. i 1st need to conquer another thread here.... a g/f, then hopefully a wife... both being the same person.

    ok Buck, i left the door open... note: not the back door as you'd prefer..





    Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

    If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia

  2. #22
    Senior Member Broknwing's Avatar
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    Enough Attcking

    Ok people, Pianodave asked a serious question and was looking for honest answers. I am sure he appreciates the answers he got and I'll give mine as well. However, do y'all think that you can quit attacking each other? Was there really a need to?


    Now, Dave, my opinion? I've wanted kids of my own as long as I can remember. I don't see my SCI changing that. Yeah, being pregnant and in a chair might be more difficult, no I won't be able to run after them as easily. BUT the happiness that I get from being around children in general and specifically the ones that are special to me(I'm auntie 'Chelle to my good friends 3 kids) is incomparable. I can't completely explain it, maybe it's a parental instinct, but I've always taken well to children and they've always taken well to me. April & Joel don't see me any different than before my SCI and Rachael was an infant when I had my accident so she really doesn't remember the walking me....They all still see me as Auntie 'Chelle, they all still respect my authority when I must use it and enjoy playing when it's time to have fun. I really think Carrie expressed a lot of my feelings about parenthood best. My biggest concern honestly is that I'm 30 and I'm not getting any younger. That has nothing to do with my SCI, at 28 even before my SCI, I was saying the same thing....I get concerned about wether or not I"m going to ever meet Mr right to have the family that I dream of with.

    PianoDave, I understand your concerns and questions. The big thing to consider is wether or not you would have wanted kids pre-sci. If the answer was no then, your answer will probably remain no now....If the answer was yes then, in my opinion, you shouldn't let the SCI cause you to not want them. This is only my opinion however, and evryone's entitled to their own.....I find joy and happiness in children, they rarely cause me stress or a negative energy drain....Yeah, sometimes they drain my energy, but usually in a good way, by doing things with them and making me feel more active and alive....

    Dave, did I answer your questions, hit the points you were concerned about? Feel free to ask more from me, I'll try to answer as best I can...
    'Chelle
    L-1 inc 11/24/03

    "My Give-a-Damn's Busted"......

  3. #23

    Some people should not have children.

    Its true. Generally in topics like these people who want kids or have them argue against people who don't. The bigger crime is someone who HAS children against his or her own better judgement, or frivolously with no forthought on how they will cope with the life long responsibility of raising them. If you have doubts, don't have any, and hope it does not create a regret later on. Raising kids is not for the faint of heart. One needs flexibility and a huge sense of self and humor. Having kids is the center of my life, but if I had not had them I would have wayyyy more money...wayyy more time and live in a wayyyy cooler place than here. No complaints but that is just the truth. Nothing wrong with not having kids, and Buck Nasty seems to have good focus and a twisted sense of humor so he will most likely make a good father. Proof is always in the pudding though...so to speak...oh and my kids are perfect by the way..I am mother of the year.

    Mary
    1FineSpineRN

  4. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by christopher
    Can we keep the flaming from poisoning every Goddam topic in these forums please? Thank you.
    Yes, I can.

    Quote Originally Posted by Buck_Nasty
    Very sorry to hear about your father, i'd have been an alcoholic to if
    I was your dad. Later
    If I were your dad I'd give you a big ol' bear hug and tell you how proud I am of you and of what you've done with your life. Atta boy Buck.
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  5. #25
    Senior Member Cspine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buck_Nasty
    I would like to have children to pass on my name. It would be cool to see what they would look like and act like. I'll be damned if I let my injury stop me from being a father.
    I'm with f&#k tard on this one. I already have two kidlets tho.
    Death and taxes

  6. #26
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    Ah, I see. Thank you bikerdave. I will say I didn't want kids before the injury, so I guess I come from a different perspective. I agree with what you said about not letting an SCI stop you--I certainly wouldn't if I wanted kids.

    I certainly didn't mean for this to erupt into flames. I asked a serious question. As I said, I have the UTMOST respect for people who want to have children, SCI or not. Just not my decision--live and let live, right?

    Either way, my question was not intended to disparage anyone who wants children. I guess people who want them don't see them the same way as people who don't. And as a result, like someone said, the effects are only positive for those people.

    As for me, I guess maybe when I turn 30, I'll look at it the same way as you do. I'm open to my mind changing. As of now, from the perspective of a college student starved for time, love, and energy, I would have to pass.

    Sincerely,

    Piano Dave

  7. #27
    Senior Member Broknwing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pianodave
    .....I will say I didn't want kids before the injury, so I guess I come from a different perspective. I agree with what you said about not letting an SCI stop you--I certainly wouldn't if I wanted kids.
    ........
    As for me, I guess maybe when I turn 30, I'll look at it the same way as you do. I'm open to my mind changing. As of now, from the perspective of a college student starved for time, love, and energy, I would have to pass.

    Sincerely,

    Piano Dave
    Piano Dave-

    I quoted only the parts of your reply that I'm replying to, although you had very insightful things to say throughout. The first statement was one of the things I mentioned in my reply. I'm not surprised to see you say that it wasn't a huge desire of yours pre-sci. I'm also glad to see that you're open to your mind changing with time/life/love/etc. Don't worry right now about your lack of desire to have kids, you said it best yourself, you're young and in college. You've got other things that are your priorities. Enjoy those and pursue those. Being a college student is a full time job. I hope that you do find love and the time for love along the way. And as you said, when you get nearer to 30(my old age ) You may or may not change your mind....But you don't need to stress about it. Enjoy life now. I appreciate your willingness to ask why those of us that want kids do and willingness to listen to our opinions. Sorry some people couldn't keep from flaming and attacking in your thread.
    'Chelle
    L-1 inc 11/24/03

    "My Give-a-Damn's Busted"......

  8. #28
    Senior Member Buck_Nasty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bob clark
    If I were your dad I'd give you a big ol' bear hug and tell you how proud I am of you and of what you've done with your life. Atta boy Buck.


    Relax bro, I don't know you, but you clearly quoted the part that
    you liked. That was not the point of that comment. What I meant was,
    that children become less of a burden as they grow. Make of it what
    you will, sorry it had to come to some nasty comments.

    Pianodave, sorry we trashed part of your thread bro, I gave a sincere
    answer, not everyone agreed, oh well.

    Seriously, i'm sure that the persons level of injury has more to do with
    a decision to have children. A T10 would have an easier time with
    children than a C5.
    Word to your mother

  9. #29
    After careful thought, I have decided that this question is the same whether you have a SCI or not. A SCI only adds one more inconveniance. A couple of my friends have new children and I couldn't be the father of a baby like I was 7 years ago. I can't put a carseat in the back seat, lift a baby out of a crib, or chase after the toddler running toward the road just to name a few. I am looking at this from a single father's point of view though. This is the only kind of father that I have ever been. I imagine that in the ideal two parent situation it is more than feasible. So then, it's actually the same question SCI or not.

  10. #30


    Parenting is one of the greatest joys in life. I hope people wont let SCI stand in the way if they want a child. My husband is a wonderful father. He amazes me in every way. He figures out how to do things I could never come up with if the shoe was on the other foot. And our son ADORES him.
    Last edited by Moody; 03-08-2006 at 02:00 AM.
    - Moody

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