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Thread: Feeling SO Down

  1. #1
    Member marzie's Avatar
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    Unhappy Feeling SO Down

    I know we all experience these feelings time and time again, just wish it would get easier when I'm going through it. I'm not even sure what the "trigger point" was today, but feeling so sad and overwhelmed. And envious of anyone I see who is not "like me". I watch people walking and it amazes me that I used to be able to do that like them. The pace they walk at, their agility, their energy. I used to be one of "them".
    Going at the speed of life as naturally as breathing.
    Does the envy ever go away? Today is just one of those times where I feel like a stranger in my own life.
    Hate these self-pitying days, but seems like the more I suppress it, the more intense it becomes.
    I know I have alot to be thankful for and tomorrow's another day and blah, blah, blah. But right now I am sad and frustrated standing at the edge of that dark abyss, but not wanting to fall in and thought it might be a good idea to vent some of it out.
    Thanks for giving me a place to do that.

  2. #2
    Hi Marzie,
    I am sorry you are feeling so down. I can relate so much to what you are saying. This winter, I think for the first time, I have been feeling an incredible sadness hanging over me like a dark cloud. It is not a depression as I understand it but just an acute sadness - I do think there is a difference. It took me by surprise because normally any sadness I might feel does not last - usually a good night's sleep and I am fine again. But not this time. I see that we are the same age and so I have been wondering if it isn't an early aspect of menopause? That on top of everything else. I have been SCI a bit longer than you, since 2000 so I think I have adapted to it mentally as much as one can and I was doing ok till now. I am just hoping that as spring comes, the sadness will lift. Spring is always my favourite time of year so I am hopeful. In the meantime, I just try to achieve something each day, no matter how small, get outside a bit, stay away from the television. I make a point to get up and have as normal a day as possible even if it is the last thing I want to do.
    Hang in there - I am sure we will both come out of it. Let me know what you think of the menopause theory? Are our hormones responsible?

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Since I cut down on Neurontin I started dreaming again. I woke up from the most incredibly happy walking dream yesterday. I was in the Bahamas with some old friends from school. People I haven't seen or heard from in years. I climbed from the boat, up a ladder to the dock, ran to the end and dove in the gin clear water. The dream may have been incredibly happy, but I didn't wake up that way. I woke up with these damn legs that don't work, and pain that never drops below #4 on the scale.

    What do you say to a good old fashioned pity party, Gals? I'll bring the tissues....

  4. #4
    "Today is just one of those times where I feel like a stranger in my own life."

    Powerful words and something that I can relate to. As much as you don't want to hear it, this too shall pass.

  5. #5
    Member marzie's Avatar
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    Girls, thankyou! I am so very grateful to this site, especially on days like these.

    Carbar, I think you are onto something as far as hormones are concerned. When I was in counseling, my therapist and I discussed it quite a bit. I'm sure menopause does come into play to a degree and I try to recognize my moods for what they are (hormonal or situational), but today is one of those days I think it's a combination of both!! I totally relate to that dark cloud over your head feeling. And it's like, if it weren't for the sadness, you'd feel nothing.

    Sofla, I have dreams like that, too. I'm always running, or dancing, goofing around on the beach with friends and family, no restrictions, limitations or pain. Then I wake up............

    I think you'd better bring alot of tissues to this party! Is it BYOB?

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by carbar
    I make a point to get up and have as normal a day as possible even if it is the last thing I want to do.
    This is the key. Some days it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to hibernate. Get up, get out, do stuff.
    C5/6 incomplete

    "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

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