Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 33

Thread: children handling sci of parent

  1. #21
    Another mom here. Kids 16, 15 and 12, the 12 year old with a learning disability.
    My husband tells me that when he took them to see me in the ICU, hours after the accident, they cried and kept asking if I was going to die.
    Later on, I got transferred to Shepherd in Atlanta while they remained in Boston with my family. My husband made these decisions because I was in physical agony and emotional shock. I made sure to tell them before I left that mom was still mom, and when they cried I could not help but cry as well. In retrospect, going to Atlanta was a mistake because my therapists were incompetent, did more harm than good. Anyway, we arranged for them to come visit and by that time they seemed to be coping well...
    Then I returned to Boston to find that my 16 year old daughter was out of control, on marijuana, rebellious, never offered any help. My 15 year old boy was your typical teenager, in love, but much more serious and circunspect. I did see him IMing a friend that 2005 was the worst year of his life.
    The one that has broken my heart is the 12 year old. From day one he has been by my side, trying to help, offering love and spport. He crawls on the floor to see what it feels like to not have legs. Everyday, EVERY SINGLE DAY, he tells me he is sad I cannot walk. And three days ago, he said he was going to get hit by a car so he too could be in a wheelchair. Yes, we are seeking profesional help.
    Bottomline, it´s a huge change for the whole family, a tragedy of sorts, and all we can do is continue to love them and try to be the parent we were. Not easy.

  2. #22
    My son was 21 and my daughter 17 when I got hurt. He's been fabulous (he doesn't live at home) and helps when he can.....she had issues. I was gone for 6 months and I think she got used to being her own boss - boy, was she resentful when I came home! I think she suffers from Post Traumatic Stress (she witnessed my fall) coz she seems emotionally disconnected.

  3. #23
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    connecticut
    Posts
    8,272
    Just found this Addissue ..... surprised I had missed it! I'm glad you mentioned it, I just read all the posts.

  4. #24
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    connecticut
    Posts
    8,272
    Quote Originally Posted by Cripply
    Bottomline, it´s a huge change for the whole family, a tragedy of sorts, and all we can do is continue to love them and try to be the parent we were. Not easy.
    Just found this post Cripply, and I hope things are going better with your family. I am so glad now that I was not that far away from my children while I was in rehab. They visited every weekend and sometimes mid-week. As it was I had to deal with a lot of (minor compared to yours) issues over the phone. I am sure tho that your husband made that choice all in good faith. Altho' it is interesting, I rehabbed in Boston instead of home in Connecticut, because that is where my husband felt was the best.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Jadis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Salish Mtns, Montana
    Posts
    3,014
    Quote Originally Posted by Jadis
    He was 4 when I got hurt the first time, but the chair didn't come until this past summer. It was interesting to watch him work through it. He has a girl in his class who's mom is a T10 complete, so they talk from time to time.
    LOL I remember the T10 thing, I was told that by a mutual friend. We ran into D's friend and her mom at a movie theatre the other day and she's a T4 with rods down to T10,

  6. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    barnesville ga
    Posts
    307
    my son has grown away from me . i no longer get to go to horseshows as i am to much trouble.if i want to go i have to drive myself. scared to drive at nite or tranafer to chair in van at night. he hasn/t take me out to eat in 9 months. his girlfriend who he moved in in march will not sweep my room or fold up my clothes. its endless of course this is my home i bought anoughter house that will be handicapp assecable i get to move in a month. i am c6 c7 fairly independent, but i am crushed by my son lack of consideration for me.i feel so left out but then i am
    just need to cry a bit

  7. #27

    Smile My daughter

    My daughter was 2 1/2 when I was injured in a auto accident. She has been there through it all. I was very blessed to regain my mobility with the assistance of a cane and brace. She is and will always be my inspiration. I believe that my injury made her who she is today, a very dependent, loving , friendly, outgoing little girl. She is now six and I always say that she has grown so fast and that I missed her growing up. But she has been there at my therapys and saw me take my first steps. I have a very loving family support group. She remembers me before the accident some but to her I am her loving mother that will always be there.

  8. #28
    Children are the best motivation aren't they.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  9. #29
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Covington, Georgia
    Posts
    399
    My twin boys are 7 now. They were 3 1/2 when I became paralyzed. I have an older son who is 11 now, but only see him for a few hours on the weekend - he's getting to the age where his life is filling up. He lives with his dad. My twins don't remember too much from before I was paralyzed -at least they don't really mention it. I am a single mom and work full time. I walk with a cane, but due to (I think) high dosage of baclofen I am dead tired by the time we get home. The boys help me with more chores than 95% of kids their age and a lot more than even my 11 yr old has to do at his dad's house. They put the (full) garbage cans on the street, fold their own clothes, including hanging them, not to mention doing all the towels and washcloths, they vacuum the house (although not very well), they carry ALL the groceries in the house and help put them up. They wipe down walls in the house and even clean floors on their hands and knees and they put their own sheets on their beds and (halfway) make them up. But they do make more than their fair share of messes. What amazes me is that they do most of these things without complaining, but when it comes to cleaning their rooms they throw a fit!

    I hate that they have to spend so much time doing these chores instead of playing, but there's just no way I can get everything done by myself - especially not when I do have to follow them around cleaning up other messes! I am having a baclofen pump put in Monday and am hoping that I will not experience the extreme fatigue once I'm off the oral baclofen. Maybe then I can get more done on my own and won't have to expect so much from them.

    Emotionally they are wrecks. They both have ADHD and we are going down the list of medications, trying to find something that works. I think this is compounded by everything that happened right after my injury - they were sent to a different state to live with grandparents they barely knew for six months to finally come home to a mother in a wheelchair. IT was a really rough time for them.

    They are sweet boys, though, and do offer to help myself and others. I do have friends in wheelchairs now and am happy to see that they treat them just like the regular people they are. Not to mention they know more about the spinal cord than most kids their age!

    Unfortunately, my boys are just learning to read (1st grade) so they can't yet get in on the emails. Maybe it will still be going on when they can read and write better. I knwo something like that would help them, too.

    I do have a suggestion on it, though. Could you out a category on here for children to post back and forth like we do? That way any of them could join in and it wouldn't be just certain ones privvy to the email address? Just a thought.

    Thanks for letting me share.
    Tina
    C5-C7 Walking Quad - Very Incomplete
    Aug '03

  10. #30
    Good post. Only one girl keeps the emails flowing so they are not missing much. I don't let mine on carecure or any site. I would be nervous about it even though most here are great. I'm nervous I watched too much dateline I guess. There are also a few posts I wouldn't want my daughter stumbling upon and she's very curious.

    I worry about my kids having to do more than their share sometimes also. But mine go to their dad some and I try to catch up then. ALthough honestly I sometimes sleep the day after they leave. (: Let me know how the pump works for you. If this next round of botox doesn't work that is my next option.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 26
    Last Post: 04-21-2012, 11:59 AM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-31-2005, 04:36 AM
  3. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-18-2004, 02:38 PM
  4. Study on Children with Cerebral Palsy
    By Max in forum Health & Science News
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-15-2002, 03:36 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •