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Thread: children handling sci of parent

  1. #11
    Addiesue,
    I've alway been afraid that one day my son would be embarrassed of me but it hasn't happen yet. You are still their mom and they will love you no matter what. Through kids eyes they don't see the chair like most adults do. There we be times it will be difficult on them but it will be all worth it in the end. My sister took her girl to the park one day and there was a little girl in a chair. Marrisa went straight to her and started playing with her like nothing was wrong. Most kids would have shy away from her but she was use to me being in a chair. My sister got tears in her eyes when she seen that happen.
    My son hold doors open for people and never is afraid to help people. It makes me so happy to see him be so good. All the teacher brag on him at school on how nice and helpful he is. My son misses all the thing I should be doing with him but he really needs the support and love I give him. Being there emotionally for their needs is way more important then the physical part.

  2. #12
    When our dad was hurt (Julie-bug is my sister), I was only 4 I think. But I hardly knew what was going on. So it didn't really affect me as much as I think it did to everybody else.
    I remember when dad was going into the ER we had time to give him a kiss and a hug and all that stuff. But I guess I was to scared to give him a kiss. I regret it now, because who knows what could have happened to him. But I guess my point is that it doesn't really sink in tell your old enough to understand it. Now that I am turning 12, its just starting to sink in now. It gets to me sometimes how he's never going to walk again, but after a while you kinda learn to except it.

    LJ Rose

  3. #13
    Senior Member krajaxa's Avatar
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    Smile wheelchaired parent

    rfbdorf, I'm glad you have found people that are willing to keep in touch with your daughter.

    I know our boys are only going to be two, and they don't know any different, but I know it must be hard on young children. I'm sure that if they can talk and express themselves, it's easier to deal with some of the limitations they are faced with.

    Good luck to you...

  4. #14
    Well here's another. My daughter had just turned 5 at the time of my accident. She is now 7 1/2 and has delt with it pretty well so far. She's almost always ready and willing to help and I don't think she has ever been embarassed because of my chair. It's amazing how well they seem to adapt. I can't take her to do certain things, but she seems okay with that. I think it would be pretty neat to get theese kids in contact with each other. If there is an email circle getting ready to start I would love to ask her if she is interested. How is this going to be set up?

  5. #15
    Senior Member wheeliegirl's Avatar
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    I was injured 9 years ago. My boys were 12 and 10 at the time. From the start I was open and honest with them, and really tried hard to show a good attitude when they were around. I still tried to do fun things with them, even if we couldn't always do the things we did before. We use a lot of humor in our house, and joking about certain things really helps to take the pressure off. I had to try hard not to be too embarassed about my incontinence. We had some good jokes about that for a while (until I had my bladder augmentation). So, I guess a good sense of humor really helps, and so does a "matter of fact" kind of attitude. I've asked them if they were scared of upset about my injury back then, and they said at first they were, but they quickly got over it once they saw that I was still "me".

    Though, it's no fun when they run around the house and hide behind furniture to get away from me! LOL. They only did that for fun, and not for real, than goodness!

  6. #16
    i have a 13yr old and i often wonder how she deals.. we don't know anyone else in our situation...so maybe she would like to e-mail other kid her age... i just found this site and i love it so i pray that she finds some excitment also..
    Last edited by bjschild32; 02-27-2006 at 03:24 AM.

  7. #17
    Sounds like there are a lot of kids out there. I would like to set up an email circle or instant messaging but want to keep my kids safe from all of the internet wackos. You all can pm me with ideas and I'll work on it. I am learning that kids take the chair better than adults. At my childrens school the kids are so sweet and welcoming and sweet. The adults are the ones who act weird and don't know what to do or say. Maybe it is because I am down at the kids level now!!!! I really would like to set up something for the kids bc if we adults have so many issues and questions imagine how they feel. I know when I feel like the only one facing something it is nice to come here and see I'm not alone. Thanks to everyone for their input and support!
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  8. #18
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
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    AddieSue, you have a good idea . . . our girls were 10 and 12 when Bruce got hurt 5 years ago, and the first year or so for them was just a nightmare that would not end.

    I think that contact with others who've been through it all is just about the only thing that could help, though I know at least one of mine would have resisted the whole idea.

    lol, yeah, so did I, until I came to terms with the fact of the injury and what it was going to mean for all of us.

    Our older daughter is a senior now, planning to go and study physical therapy next fall. I think if you start some kind of support group, she'd be willing to take part. Let us know how we can help.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Jadis's Avatar
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    Mine is 13, but he's grounded from his computer for the moment LOL

    He was 4 when I got hurt the first time, but the chair didn't come until this past summer. It was interesting to watch him work through it. He has a girl in his class who's mom is a T10 complete, so they talk from time to time.

    Addiesue, he got your email but he said he doesn't know what to say. Maybe asking questions would be good? He has one more week off the computer.

  10. #20
    My oldest son was 5 when I was injured and my wife was pregnant at the time. My oldest is now almost 9 and he also had to grow up fast. Tigger, your description of your son sounds just like mine. He has beeb such a big help to me. I still get out and play with him. We haven't really missed a beat. My youngest son knows nothing but me in a WC. I almost cried the other day. We were looking at pictures. He say a picture of me and my wife standing on the beach. He said, "Look Daddy, you are walking." It was a touching moment. Sometimes I am thankful for my injury in that it has given me the time to spend with my boys that I wouldn't have had before.

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