Page 1 of 6 123456 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 58

Thread: Random Bowel Thoughts

  1. #1

    Random Bowel Thoughts

    So I was eating dinner, and bowel movements popped into my head. (Appetizing, no? Thought so.)

    Anyway, I thought of a way to cure us of the dreaded bowel program -- or strictly minimize its frequency. Once every two weeks with no risks of accidents sounds good to me.

    Here's the deal: A scientist needs to make a bacteria that can only live in the rectum (similar to those that live in our large intestines) and feed on feces, dung, or just plain crapola.

    I would pay a grand (or more) to save my anus from regular trauma.

    Thoughts?
    ...it's worse than we thought. it turns out the people at the white house are not secret muslims, they're nerds.

  2. #2
    umm ... that just sounds delicious? lol ... seriously ... there's got to be a better way to manage the bowels.
    Daniel

  3. #3
    like genetically engineered maggots, specialized intestinal worm or something like that?
    Very creative! and possible in the near future

    What about a special high powered suction device?

    CWO

  4. #4
    Senior Member LaoziSailor's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    1,601
    Hey CWO,
    Quote Originally Posted by SCI-Nurse
    like genetically engineered maggots, specialized intestinal worm or something like that?
    ...yes!, my question though where does the stuff they put out go?
    Very creative! and possible in the near future
    I want it -- where do I stand <slap myself>, I mean sit in line?
    What about a special high powered suction device?
    Now this sounds like a winner! -- Somebody would make so much MULA... hmmm.

    Cheers!
    Han Tacoma

    ~ Artificial Intelligence is better than none! ~

  5. #5
    How about this crazy idea, find a cell that could grow into any cell
    in the human body. Grow it into spinal cord cells and then transplant it
    into the point of injury in the spinal cord so it can connect damaged
    axons and regain bowel and bladder function. I know this sounds nuts
    but it just might be crazy enough to work. I'm gonna get right on this
    tonight after the suns and mavs game is over.

    "now thats sarcasm" (Homer Simpson)

  6. #6
    Steven,

    How about this??? EWWWWW....lol
    Mary
    But oddly as always intriguing idea....
    1FineSpineRN

  7. #7

    Shocking...

    How about a little transmitter that you hold next to the top of your colon, transmit an electronic signal, and the bowel immediately empties completely on your command--no other time. The transmitter must be solar and battery powered--for folks in the areas that have 6 month winters.

    Hey, law enforcement folks could use this--works opposite of the tazer, but would stun nonetheless.

  8. #8
    Senior Member queen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Garden on the Green, Indiana
    Posts
    1,109
    What about a pill taken each morning with a full glass of water... that activates within 5 minutes of swallowing turning your BM into semi-liquid form and passing the entire contents like water.

    You Would: 1) Be free to plan your day accordingly, with no fear of
    having an accident,

    2) No more straining needed,

    3) Hemmoriodectomies (sp) would be a thing of the past
    for those with (sci),
    Your life is what you make it, and only you have that choice!

  9. #9
    Senior Member queen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Garden on the Green, Indiana
    Posts
    1,109
    And lastly,

    Pfizer who makes Tucks would lose lots of $$$ on us.

    Queen
    Your life is what you make it, and only you have that choice!

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Madison,Wisconsin, USA
    Posts
    1,498

    Talking Or,

    we could import Dung Beetles (they specialize in eating the feces of elephants) as pets....................

Similar Threads

  1. what is the big secret about bowel programs
    By notsohotwheels in forum Care
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: 05-22-2019, 01:34 PM
  2. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 02-06-2009, 03:58 PM
  3. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-13-2006, 09:55 PM
  4. Exposing the Hidden Syndrome: Irritable Bowel
    By Max in forum Health & Science News
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-24-2006, 09:26 PM
  5. The Neurogenic Bowel After SCI
    By antiquity in forum Care
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-24-2002, 09:34 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •