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Thread: Naughty caregiver ... or not

  1. #111
    Senior Member Zeus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wesley
    His only message was, "me rub you long time"
    ROFLMAO.
    Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood! Larry in 'Closer', a play by Partick Marber

  2. #112
    Quote Originally Posted by felieh
    BTW Bob Clark, sorry to disappoint but am a healthy heterosexual. No switch-hitting here. Sorry to disappoint.
    Hi Felieh,

    I'm not disappointed. I was just pulling your chain. As soon as I read your post concerning a potentially naughty male Vietnamese caregiver and a raging hard on I knew this thread was gonna take off like a rocket. I thought I may as well be the one to light the fuse. Nothing personal.

    How anyone can jump in here and accuse you of being lazy is beyond me. You get up very early every damn morning to face a long commute to work. You work all day long under exceptional circumstances and pay your taxes enabling others who can't or don't choose to work to retain some dignity and collect a check and receive medical care. I admire and thank you. You got a lot more get up and go than I do.

    If some able-bodied rich dude paid a valet to shave him and lay out his clothes every morning no one would blink an eye. Or whenever someone hired a chauffeur and limo to free up some time to do more important work while commuting to the office no one would scoff. You however employ someone to do a little extra nursing care during your hurried morning to perhaps help free your wife up so she can scramble a few eggs in the morning and the independence/exercise police are on your ass. And you know who you are. Shame on you.

    The bright side of getting a morning wood is that you know (or it's an indication) your bladder is UTI-free. Anytime I get wood it's a good thing! It's quite possible that your PCA is just doing a thorough job and that's to be commended. Many PCAs may skimp in that "personal" area and we all know that vigilant skin care, especially in that area, which has to put up with the abuse of skin adhesive, excessive moisture and a condom catheter, is very important. I think you may be concerned that your PCA doesn't realize that you're getting a reflex erection and that it's totally unrelated to anything sexual. Maybe print out some authoritative reading material so you know that he knows it's just a normal physiological reaction. The odds are only one in ten that he's gay.... well in the nursing field maybe the percentage is a little higher. My brother is gay (bisexual) and he's a nurse. But even if your PCA is gay what difference would it make? It would be the same as if a female was performing the nursing task. It's just a job. You seem well rooted in your sexuality so don't worry about it. Worry about the squeamish and lazy PCAs.

    Someone suggested a product that's designed to help safely remove the condom catheter adhesive. You might want to look into getting some of that. Others have recommended olive oil and peanut butter but I would DEFINITELY stay away from those two "Hint's from Heloise" ideas. That would be raging with a capital "R"! And AstroGlide too!

    Just have a little chat with your PCA and I think everything will be fine. I admire you quads (and paras) that have the fortitude and drive to work a full constructive day in the workplace. You must be exhausted when you get home from work. Where's the bed!

    Thanks again for contributing to the tax base of this country.
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  3. #113
    Quote Originally Posted by cspanos
    Unless, of course, felieh notices the pca drooling next time he 'scrubs' that healthy wang of his...

    Is it just me, or does it suck that recently on CareCure you can't ask a single question without getting a fuckin' side-order of judgement? Fuentes, where exactly does felieh ask for an opinion on whether he's being lazy or not?

    Chris.
    he said he was uncomfortable w/ the vietnamese guy rubbing him down to erection, so i said do it yourself. of course i said it in my gentle tone, i dont want to hold back, yah know
    Bike-on.com rep
    John@bike-on.com
    c4/5 inc funtioning c6. 28 yrs post.
    sponsored handcycle racer

  4. #114
    Quote Originally Posted by bob clark
    If some able-bodied rich dude paid a valet to shave him and lay out his clothes every morning no one would blink an eye. Or whenever someone hired a chauffeur and limo to free up some time to do more important work while commuting to the office no one would scoff. You however employ someone to do a little extra nursing care during your hurried morning to perhaps help free your wife up so she can scramble a few eggs in the morning and the independence/exercise police are on your ass. And you know who you are. Shame on you.
    I can almost guarantee you that the time saved as a C6 quad paying someone else to scrub your undercarriage vs. doing it yourself is VERY minimal unless there are some crazy extenuating circumstances. We're talking 1-2min max.


  5. #115
    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Pruett
    I can almost guarantee you that the time saved as a C6 quad paying someone else to scrub your undercarriage vs. doing it yourself is VERY minimal unless there are some crazy extenuating circumstances. We're talking 1-2min max.
    Felieh is paying for the services of a PCA to help him and his wife out in the mornings. We all know it involves more than just washing his private parts. I'm a T-5 para and rarely am I able to bring a cup of coffee to this desk or refill my dog's water bowl without spilling some. If the PCA is gonna give Felieh a sponge bath in bed he needs to carry a heavy basin of sloshing warm water from the bathroom to the bedroom. I imagine Felieh could wash his genital area but since he's paying a PCA to do a complete job he may as well get one. Unlike you, I can't "almost guarantee" anything as I don't know enough about Felieh or what he's doing during this time. Maybe he's going over some reports for his upcoming workday and doesn't want to get his hands soapy and wet. Who knows? But if you perfect quads keep condemning and razzing him it isn't gonna do anything but perhaps embarrass him.

    If someone is able to afford and chooses to hire a chauffeur and limo no one jumps down their throat just because they're able to drive themselves but choose not to. Felieh is attempting to manage his hurried and fleeting morning hours to his advantage and you guys are jumping down his throat. Wash your own dick and leave Felieh, his wife and his PCA to decide what to do about his.

    And like Cspanos says, with a fuckin' side-order of judgmental attacks. Cut the guy some slack and let him manage his time the way he sees fit.

    How long is your commute to work each morning Scott? And how many hours do you spend sitting up straight in a damn wheelchair (which after 8 freakin' hours must start feeling like an iron maiden torture device) in the workplace each day?
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  6. #116
    Senior Member Zeus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Pruett
    I can almost guarantee you that the time saved as a C6 quad paying someone else to scrub your undercarriage vs. doing it yourself is VERY minimal unless there are some crazy extenuating circumstances. We're talking 1-2min max.

    That's just bullshit. Unless you've met every quad on these boards, you can't say what function a C6 should have. I'm C5/C6 COMPLETE, and can't transfer to save my life. I can't even raise my butt off my cushion. Fuentes is a C4/C5 INCOMPLETE, and can transfer. Even two complete C6s can have slight but important differences in function. Just a hint of a tricep etc. can dramatically change function.

    As for cleaning one's penis and applying a condom cath, I don't see how a C6 quad (unless they have finger movement) could do as thorough a job as a pca. Just applying the cath would be very tricky. If they're gonna apply, they may as well clean.

    As for time saved in the mornings, I totally agree with Felieh. Save EVERY minute you can in the mornings. When I was working as a litigator, I was up at 4:30 a.m. every second morning to do my BP and be at work on time. In four years I was even late to court a couple of times. On top of it all, I was struggling with chronic tiredness from undiagnosed sleep apnea. Sure, I could of brushed my own teeth with a splint etc., but who the f@#k had the time?

    Chris.
    Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood! Larry in 'Closer', a play by Partick Marber

  7. #117
    ''Jeff''; ,,,,,,,'' i could have sworn that somewhere i've read that all levels are different in all kinds of ways.... maybe just a fig newton of my imagination... ====== Jeff for being SCI yourself, your lacking in the information dept of such. Break out your ''SCI Bible''; diagnosis and living with. Then,,,,, you can come back,,,,, 'n get a fig newton .

    FreeJ, how am i lacking in the information dept. of such? or are you saying that all levels function the same? what is the ''SCI Bible''? YOU? doubtful.. i'm back and no fig newton.. we all appreciate your critiques too.. ''rolls eyes''..

    ''Jeff''; your up again. Perhaps a salute to the ''Far Superior''; it would have to be a link for those who are,,,,,, weak, soft, need assistance, self pitying and just "Pure Lazy", and accept or are dependent on help.

    nope, you're up again... i like how Bob Clark labeled you guys.. ''perfect quads''. herein lies the problem, you guys give your opinion ALWAYS in a very condascending way. this is when several threads go crappy. there are better ways to give constructive criticism w/o coming off as being superior to another quad that is the same level.

    i'm with cspanos... same level, complete, can't transfer, and can't lift my ass off my chair either.... am i labeled lazy now, by you ''perfect quads''? my rehab is #1 in my life.. to be in the best shape i can for when the time comes.....? for those of you constantly judging.... lean back and judge yourself first...





    Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

    If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia

  8. #118
    Geeezzz,,,, I was just gett'n settled for the night was watching '' Rudolph's; 25 Days till Christmas'' cranking up my Christmas spirit. Then went online to check em 'n stop by to CC to check Nurse Mary R.N. - Mediator - Disciplinarian, progress in restoring order in the nut house.
    So I go to the '' fight card'' figuring the peee-peee contest was to a dribble or over, and the Danggg thang looks like it's coming back to life at full squirt. And JayyyZus,,,,,,, ''Lewis'' your dragging me back in,,,,,,,,,,,

    Okkk,,,, looks like it might be time to lace up the gloves. Lewis the ''Main Event'' is already in progress, soooo,,,, we'll have to be an ''undercard''.
    ,,,,,,,,,,Yes, Lewis I'm a high quad, one level higher than you, a C-4,5 dependent on some help, more than I wish I had to. So my statement that you attacked, cuz I didn't think you were calll'n me out[ I've got the gloves right next to me], was ''pure 'friendly' sarcasm''. It was a play on ''pure laziness'' [go to page 1 and READ].
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,My friend,,,,,,,,, I'm not that NARROW MINDED or perfect to ''judge anyone'' or determine ''if'' or ''how'' much help a certain level should or shouldn't be allowed to have.
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,Lewis,,,,,,, it's all good here,,,,, I've got thick skin,,,,,,, you have a good Holiday .

    Spanman,,,,,,,, Hey Chris,,,,,,, I believe I stated the samething in my post; RE; ''I didn't think Felieh asked to be judged on his level of laziness.''
    Uhhh,,,''Sidebar''[OJ case]; Spanman,,,,,, '' 'ya need to offer "Chick" another challenge,,,,,,,

    Back to Rudolph,
    Freej

  9. #119
    Senior Member cali's Avatar
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    i agree with jeff here. every injury is different, sometimes dramatically. it's like a fingerprint because there isn't an injury out there that is EXACTLY the same as another.
    Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway

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  10. #120
    Come on now kids, I never said a transfer was part of it. We're talking about a little sponge bath of sorts. Think outside the box. Lay out washcloths + soap/water or even those antibacterial wipes next to the bed. At the *typical* level of function a C6 injury has, one can use available muscles to sit up enough (or even lean to one side), balance with one arm/hand, and scrub with the other. We're not talking about putting on a condom cath, etc. I'm very well aware that every injury is different.

    For the record, I'm no "perfect quad" & struggle with quite a bit. Heck, rehab isn't even #1 in my life & I use a power chair more often for practicality b/c I'm out of the house a lot. I just stand firm in believeing that it's possible to clean the family jewels without assistance... that's my sole argument in this thread... but then again maybe I'm just stubborn & have too much pride to want help with it... BUT I'M CLEAN nonetheless.

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