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Thread: Attitudes towards AB/disabled relationships

  1. #1

    Attitudes towards AB/disabled relationships

    Just something my bf and I have noticed over the last few months...

    When we are around AB people who don't know our relationship "status," almost everyone seems to assume that I must be his caregiver or at most his friend. But when we are around anyone with a disability, people seem to assume the opposite and we frequently get asked things like "When are you getting married" or "Do you guys plan to have children?" etc.

    Is this what other people experience with their partners? Anyone else tempted to hop on their bf/husband's lap and give them a "yes, I AM with him thank-you-very-much" look when you see the schocked expression on their face?
    Last edited by HikerBabe; 10-18-2005 at 08:37 PM. Reason: Oops~ should have put this in the relationship forum~ sorry about that.

  2. #2
    Heh. When I was seeing somebody, we'd be walking down the street together, guys would openly hit on her, like I wasn't even there. Go figure eh.

  3. #3
    My bf and I go to a coffee store every week. I went w/o him once and the woman asked, "Where's your brother today?".
    I looked pensive as I do not have a brother. it dawned on my hollow brain she was referring to my handsome AB guy.

    I laughed and said something about incest wasn't my thing.

    Idiot. She blushed a few shades darker crimson and I got a free coffee.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Jeff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Argao, Cebu, Philippines
    Liz - I got a deja vu from your story. I was at a Keck Center Open House when someone remarked about my daughter. I don't have a daughter. Then it dawned on me they were talking about my wife.

    christopher - We were at a club once when a guy asked me if I would move so he could sit closer to "that girl" - LOL. My wife shuts down advances from strangers in a heartbeat. So, I saved him from embarassment and steered him toward someone else.
    ~See you at the CareCure-used-to-be-paralyzed Reunion ~

  5. #5
    i've gotten the brother one, too... he he... i have three brothers and we look NOTHING alike, so it was really funny for them to assume my BF was related... especially since we kinda (huge stretch here) have similar coloring... and then I thought ... LOSER!!!! of course, he's my BF.

    Don't get me wrong, i'm close to all three of my brothers and i'm from KY... but not THAT close. hahahaaa....

    he moves in with me this week, (gets out of rehab and i'm closing on a house) it should be interesting to see what happens...
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, margarita in one hand - chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!"

  6. #6
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    This is very interesting to me ... Bill and I haven't had the experience you all have .. I wonder if its age related ! Bill is 58 now , I'm 51 (but a very girlish 51 ) so I'm wondering if its more "believable" that we are a couple than say if we were in our 20's (ie. why would a young person choose that relationship on purpose ... there has to be some other explanation) ... know what I mean????


  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Madison,Wisconsin, USA

    Talking Assumptions

    And, at the other end of the spectrum...................everyone, can't think of an exception, thinks Jim and I are husband and wife, intead of being brother and sister when meeting for the first time!

  8. #8
    I echo you there lilsister. Everyone thinks my brother is my boyfriend. Ewww.
    If there is light
    it will find

    --Charles Bukowski

  9. #9
    ok, now this sounds negative and i'm normally not, but i'm almost (not holding breath here) waiting for someone to be weird to me and him... maybe i'm just OVERLY protective (tad bit of mama tiger and wounded cub here). I know it's wrong and I don't do the hover thing, but all the same, it's like i'm here waiting all the i mentioned, maybe it will be nothing once we're actually in the same house together on a full time basis...
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, margarita in one hand - chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!"

  10. #10
    Senior Member Myc0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Twilight in the Garden of Good and Evil


    OH MY GOD! Gimps in relationships with NORMAL people!? Isn't that against the law? These are totally different species that just shouldn't be allowed to breed! Just imagine the horribly deformed and criminally stupid offspring they would produce! Are government should step in and do something to prevent this atrocity! What kind of person would be so sick as to associate with an INVALID! I mean just look at the basic word inVALID, as in not-valid. It just seems to be common sense that one wouldn't corrupt the gene pool or there social lives with one of these damned miscreants! How sad, and IMMORAL! I wish Superman was real so he could hurl all of these terrible freaks into the sun where they would be purified in the flame! We should petition Bush to speak with God about smiting these godless gimps!
    De Omnibus Dubitandum

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