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Thread: What can I do in this situation

  1. #1
    Member Slider82's Avatar
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    What can I do in this situation

    This really has nothing to do with SCI but I really don't know who I can talk to about it........

    My niece just started highschool this year, she just became friends with another girl. The friend is not the problem, my niece was at their house over the weekend and somehow the girl's mother got into it with her over a religious issue, supposedly their family is very religious and my niece is an athiest, I don't even know how the subject came up but Anyway the friend's mother started lecturing my niece about religion and how you couldn't be a good person without believing in God ect. Then yesterday my niece comes home from school saying that the mother won't allow the two of them to hang out because she says my niece will be "a bad influence" on her daughter.

    Now My beautiful, intelligent niece is in tears over the whole situation, she doesn't dare bring it up wiith my sister because she knows my sister will go ballistic. I did not think people could be like this in 2005, we're not even living in f()cking South Carolina for crying out loud. I consider myself a Christian but I would NEVER subject a 14-year-old kid to this kind of judgement. Honestly I am so pissed off I seriously feel like beating the sh!t out of somebody but I don't know what there is I can do, if there is even anything.

    Oh well, Thanks for letting me vent.

  2. #2
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    Terrible and sad situation. But hey, what I would have done after my anger had settled down was to phone this girls mother and discussed this sad situation and discussed it as grown ups and explained to here that they are just kids. And don’t be angry in the phone, just a suggestion. If that don’t work I don’t know what you have for options.

  3. #3
    The situation is familiar to me. I live in part of Oslo with a lot of muslims and many of their children don't want to play with my 9-year old. They fight with him and call him bad names.

    I agree with Leif, try to phone the mother. I have done that a couple of times and most of the parents agree with me that religion should not be a reason for children to fight and not play with each other. It is important to teach the children that everybody is equal in spite of colour and religion. But it is difficult if people are very religious, one way or the other.

    It is not strange it is wars when you see children can't keep peace with each other for such reasons.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  4. #4
    Senior Member cali's Avatar
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    my brother doesn't believe in god either...he's the kind of guy that is like "i'll see it when i believe it" now, i do believe in god and i read the bible but i don't attend church and i never have, and probably never will.

    i know people who go to church, who believe in god and are horrible people and would stomp on any face as soon as look at it. my brother is a wonderful person and would do anything for me and would do a lot for anyone else.

    what you believe or say you believe doesn't matter as long as you're a good person and do what's right.
    Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway

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  5. #5
    Senior Member Cspine's Avatar
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    just strengthens my theory that christianity is just the oldest and largest pyramid scam ever.
    Death and taxes

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cspine
    just strengthens my theory that christianity is just the oldest and largest pyramid scam ever.
    I think it has more to do with stupid ppl.

  7. #7
    Senior Member cali's Avatar
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    i think when people get to the point where they think they're superior and that everyone's going to hell except for them is when they're stupid from religion.
    Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway

    Frank's blog:
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  8. #8
    Give her a call and do your best to mend the situation. You can always remind the religious mother that there are no lost souls in the church choir. Perhaps a few backsliders! No gain to be had in trying to convert the converted. If the daughter is comfortable in her faith then the mother has nothing to fear from your niece.

    The Great Commission According to Matthew

    “All authority hath been given unto me in heaven and on earth. Go ye therefore, and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit: teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I commanded you: and lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world” (Mt. 28:18-20 ASV)."


    But don't expect a rational response if the mother is irrational in her religion. I watched and listened to a very religious woman being interviewed in the Astrodome. At first she seemed normal enough but after awhile started going into a religious rant of sorts. Repeatedly thanking God for sending those brave national guardsmen into the New Orleans flood waters to save her. I mean, come on. If anything, it was God who sent the category 4 hurricane to destroy her house and the levees with all that wind and rain. And the dirty old government who sent in the troops. Or is the Devil responsible for hurricanes? Hmm, if God is omniscient and omnipotent then he has control over the Devil. Perhaps it's that "free will of humans" clause that screws the whole deal up. I don't know, but it tires me out just thinking about it.

    Okay, the Devil is responsible for the hurricanes when they cause damage and when they would make God look bad. But after traveling over land for awhile and they begin to simmer down a bit and start delivering badly needed rain water to the farmers so they can grow their crops that's when God takes over. See, it's really quite simple once you get your mind right.

    Honestly I am so pissed off I seriously feel like beating the sh!t out of somebody but I don't know what there is I can do, if there is even anything.
    That wouldn't be very Christian of you. More wars have been started and fought in the name of God than in the name of anything else.

    Try to win over the mother with diplomacy and good argument and assure her that your niece isn't the Devil incarnate.
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  9. #9

    Thumbs up

    My personal opinion (which is worth exactly what you're paying for it) is that the mother should not be called. I'd leave that end of the situation totally alone. You won't convince anyone to change any of their beliefs or actions anyway. And, if you were to call, you will send a silent message to your niece that you will assist her in fighting her battles or, even worse, fight them for her. If you only help her to accept/understand/deal with the situation by discussing it with her, you will send her the message that you're there for her but, she will have to go out in the world and deal with her own situations. At 14 she's learning a good life lesson if you discuss it with her but let her know that she'll be responsible for dealing with it with her friend. Part of that lesson is that she'll ultimately have to fight her own battles in life. And, that it's sure nice to have an Uncle's good judgement to help her come to good decisions on issues. You being there for her to bounce ideas off of and to brainstorm with will be great for her and she'll have her thoughts together and be prepared to deal with her friend.

    I think it's great that you're spitting nails about this and, best of all, that she's lucky enough to have a great Uncle who cares.

    Way to go, Unc!

  10. #10
    what does she want you to do, or is she just looking for someone to listen?
    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world...is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." - Almost Famous

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