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Thread: My friend wants to die...

  1. #1
    Senior Member abrooks311's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
    Hot Springs,AR, USA

    My friend wants to die...

    Well today I decide to go see a friend of mine I havent heard from in a long time..I havent seen him in awhile because he lives across town and we are both in chairs..hes a 26 year old c5-c6 that lives with his parents. Ever since Ive known him hes been the kind of guy that always seems to become easily depressed..always talking about how his life is so rough and how bad his health is...Ive tried to cheer him up , getting my mom to go pick him up in my van and bring him over to the house so we could ride downtown in our chairs and go to the clubs and stuff down there..but one day I called about 7 mounths ago to ask if he was up and ready to come over my mom was about to come get him but he said he was kinda feeling down and didnt want to get up ..he said all he wanted to do was take some pills and go to sleep so he dont have to look at his wheelchair..I tried changing his mind but couldnt so he told me he would call me the next day if he felt better. That was the last time I heard from him till today..I got over to his house and his mom told me he was in the hospital has been there for the last 5 mounths!..his mom told me he had got 2 pressure sores on his butt that made him sick that put him in the hospital..she said that he wont eat or drink anything...he resently started to get real bad and was moved to icu where they put a feeding tube in him but he made them take it out because he says he just wants to die! his mom asked for them to put it back but they said they cant because its against his wishes! I went to the hospital to see him and when i got there he was so doped up he couldnt focus or talk right! so I didnt stay long because he was so out of it he prolly didnt know i was there! damnit im so pissed off right now! its such a fu*king sad case! It tears me up that hes just giving up on life! Their just waiting for him to die!....I want to help him but just afraid i cant....
    Im going to go see him tomarrow an try to talk to him if hes alert but just dont know if it'll do any good..

  2. #2
    He's 26??????? The doctors should have him on antidepressants. Something sounds off to me. Good luck, that sure sucks.

  3. #3


    Sorry to hear about your friend. He needs someone like you in his life. Don't give up! *Hugs*

    It is hard to see someone waste away like that. My father died the exact same way in a VA hospital. Refused to eat and he had some underlying mental problems in the end. But he is in a better place now.

  4. #4
    Senior Member abrooks311's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
    Hot Springs,AR, USA
    hes been on them...fact he used to eat them like candy! for a buzz
    Last edited by abrooks311; 07-28-2005 at 10:31 PM.

  5. #5
    Senior Member mr_coffee's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    San Francisco, CA
    Wow that is really sucks man, I also wanted to die but I never told anyone, like when i was in the car I just wished someone would smash into me and end it. Whenever I saw someone who was old I wished I could be them so I was closer to death. I also had times when I didn't want to move or get out of bed but this was all before I got on anti depressants. He needs people like you to get him out of his pit. My family and friends really helped me and i'm so glad they did, because now i love life and i can't believe I felt like that before. Try and get as many people as you can to go seem him on a daily basis, he needs to know people care for him. His mom should have forced him to get out of bed, you can't just let someone lay like that, it just gets worse and worse. I hope things get better.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member WM's Avatar
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    Sep 2004
    Everywhere the circus goes
    I'm very sorry!

    Question--Why do you think they are doping him so heavily? Pain? And I wonder if they are KEEPING him doped?

    I hope that he will be alert tomorrow so that you can talk to him. On the one hand, I believe a person should have the right to die if they choose that, but on the other, I hate to think of someone killing themselves when change could be just around the corner. Still, if I were you, I'd not be wanting to give my friend up either. My first thought would be to demand of my friend to fight to live. Maybe you can encourage him to fight. At the same time, for his sake, you may find yourself in the position of supporting him in this decision, and being there to hold his hand when the time comes. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts. I know this is painful.
    "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Aly's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    Radford, Va
    Sorry to hear about that. Stay strong for yourself and for your friend. I hope your positive attitude about life can help turn him around.
    The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. ~ Don Juan Matus
    We are Virginia Tech… We must laugh again… No one deserves a tragedy… We are strong, and brave, and innocent, and unafraid…We are better than we think and not quit what we want to be…We are the Hokies…We will prevail, we will prevail, we will prevail. We ARE Virginia Tech! ~ Nikki Giovanni

  8. #8
    Senior Member Cspine's Avatar
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    Nov 2003
    Portland, Oregon
    abrooks, i don't know your pal but when i felt [and still sometimes feel] like i wanted to die all i wanted was ONE TRUE FRIEND to be there to tell me they believe in me and that everything is gonna be ok.
    Death and taxes

  9. #9
    I think this shows how much sci sucks

  10. #10
    Anthony--I really hope you're able to get through to him. I don't think that he sees how great life can be, even despite the chair.

    I can't say that I haven't felt the same because that would be a lie. When I was newly injured, I didn't exactly think about suicide as much as I thought "If only that car had hit us a little would've all ended." Now, I cannot imagine not being around. I can't imagine committing suicide now either. I, as some know, have recently felt the rippled effects that are caused by suicide, and I could never put my parents, brothers, sister, or friends through that kind of pain. To me, it's selfish, but I can understand that people just feel no hope. I guess we can never really know how another person feels.
    If there is light
    it will find

    --Charles Bukowski

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