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Thread: Beer Theory

  1. #1
    Senior Member michaelm's Avatar
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    Beer Theory

    BEER THEORY

    Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." - Babe Ruth

    I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
    - Lyndon B. Johnson

    An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway

    When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
    - Paul Horning

    24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence! I think not. - H.L. Mencken

    When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! - George Bernard Shaw

    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
    - Benjamin Franklin

    Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry

    BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C. - W.C. Fields

    Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. - Professor Irwin Corey

    To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can! -Leo Durocher

    One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers............

  2. #2
    Senior Member abrooks311's Avatar
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    Im going to remember acouple of those to share with my drinking buddies
    Blah

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Sue Pendleton's Avatar
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    It also tastes a lot better than magnesium citrate when you need some help, umm, well, you know...

    Now THAT'S a clinical trial that would be self funding and yet no post grad has ever asked if beer helps bowel programs but they'll ask dumb shit stuff like does cold effect your pain levels?
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

    Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

  4. #4
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    Oh yeah, to laugh is to live. Funny stuff.
    Makes me feel like drinking again!

  5. #5
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    Cheers for a long and happy life.
    A fast and easy death.
    A lovely and honest girl.
    A cold beer and another one!

  6. #6
    LOL..Thats good stuff

  7. #7
    Senior Member Rollin Rick's Avatar
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    Better start drinkin

    There ain't no beer in heaven, so that's why I drink it here.

    Now that's an oldie.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by michaelm
    BEER THEORY

    Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." - Babe Ruth
    This Babe Ruth, he is one compassionate guy, seriously. I knew I had compassion too, now I know how I extend mine.

    november, making dreams come true one beer at a time.
    Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--Mary Kay Ash

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