Since my accident in 1975 my penis has been hyper sensitive. I can get an erection but stimulating that erection by hand or during sex racks my stomach, legs, chest in tight cramps and then ADysreflexia. Before my accident like most teenagers I masturbated 4-6 times a day. As a C4 quad my hands don't work well enough to masturbate. The past 29 years have been a mental nightmare. The DESIRE is still there but I have no way to achive the physical release. Even if I did, the pain is there waiting. Any ideas on how to overcome this? I battle it daily in my mind. I don't take any meds for pain or spatisity. Wine helps some but not enough. I would prefer to be not whacked out on drugs or booze during these intimate moments. I regard sex as something more than just grinding two bodies together. I want to be there in the moment with my partner... am I asking for the impossible?