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Thread: TRYING TO COPE

  1. #11
    Member
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    Mar 2002
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    Take a deep breath

    and then another -- deeper this time. Somehow you must find something that can share the space inside you that is now filled with sadness. Something that eventually will push it out of the way. How about a physical activity like a gym or pool, if financially possible - that not only fills your time and mind, but also feeds your soul and wears you out?! If not, maybe volunteer somewhere? So many places need so many people. You need to feel needed, I think. Good luck, Beth

    p.s. By the way - grief and sadness are perfectly natural, and crying is very therapeutic. But then I think there comes a time you need to get back up and out ... and live again, not just exist. Take care.

  2. #12
    Senior Member
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    !

    I TOTALLY agree with your statements about your hope having "never been stronger."

    Remember Z . Our community NEEDS you. You MUST cope . Not by choice, you've joined an elite group of people...the "disabled" community. We're the toughest of the tough, the gruffest of the gruff, for the crap we go through everyday. And we're gonna beat it...each and every one of us. Im learning that the most important thing is to keep my body healthy, and take NO advice for granted from anyone. Look everything up.

    We don't the time to cry.

    To quote Stephen Hawking...

    "People with physical disabilities don't have time for psychological ones..."

    Sorry...I'll take the words of a brilliant cosmologist to heart LONG before I'll take seriously the crap I got from my rehab psychologist....

    Eric Texley

  3. #13
    z-eater,

    I can't add much to the responses you've received from this great group of tough, agressive, supportive people. Just remember NONE of us are giving up. Get involved, read the posts, accept your feelings as valid and no we are NEVER going to give up until we have our bodies back. Email me if you just want to talk.

    Deb

  4. #14

    Hold on to Hope!!!

    z eater,

    I know you get so frustrated that you don't have a clue what to do, but as you can see from just reading the posts on this forum, you can still make a difference in somebody's life just by being you...You probably are an example for somebody, somewhere...and you need to hold your head up and hang on...because you don't know what tomorrow may bring...it could be better...and what if you missed it?

    Take care and email me anytime...

    heartscriber@excite.com

    Teena

  5. #15

    Z Eater

    Great advice from everyone. Please hang in there, help is on the way.

    I find its best to try and get some type of physical exercise every day, eat right and remember that life is 90% between your ears and 10% from the neck down (this is from a guy who used to live the opposite but is now C6-7 quad). It takes a while to realize it though. Be patient with yourself but never give up.

    Also, if you're interested there are numerous things you can do regardless of your level of injury when and if you're ready. What things made you happy prior to your injury?

    Raven, btw, very cool raven icon under your name.

    Onward and Upward!

  6. #16
    Senior Member
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    Feb 2002
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    middle of nowhere
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    565

    crying and stuff and Question for Eric Texly

    Z-Eater,
    I'm so old I keep thinking I'll turn on the radio and hear The Beatles and way over 1/2 of those years have been sitting. Anyone on this forum who is sci who says they haven't cried a lot and thought of falling on a knife is a liar so don't feel alone. I was once so selfish that my answer to people who said "it could be worse" was "it could be a helluva lot better too." one day I woke up next to a blind paraplegic in a V.A. hospital and he was happier than me so it finally sunk in. I'm no smarter than anyone else on this forum but you've got lots of hope and lots of things you can still do. What did you enjoy doing pre-injury? Most quads and paras can still do a lot if you try. I never thought I'd fish or hunt again as a quad and at 1st was too stubborn and bitter to try because it wasn't the same. Then I noticed that boats were not a new invention, neither were jeeps and other 4x4's. Most States give us crips a permit to shoot from a vehicle. I hope I haven't offended any friends of animals, but pretty soon I was out in the mountains in a jeep getting stuck and freezing my ass off like everyone else and later talking about how much fun I had. Snowmobiling is good in the winter. Just try not to waste too much time before you try living again. Have you started driving yet? That'll help a lot. Drop me a line anytime-I know I'm approaching Geezer status, but inside all of us old farts is a young man wondering what the hell happened.
    Question for Eric T. who is Stephen Hawkins? I like his thought for the day.WR

  7. #17

    Stephen Hawking

    Stephen Hawking is a brilliant physicist at Cambridge University who also has had ALS for many years. He is ventilator dependent and must use a speech synthesizer to communicate. He is one of the leading authorities on black holes. He continues to teach, write, do research and travel extensively in spite of his disability.

    Here is his web site:

    http://www.hawking.org.uk/home/hindex.html

    (KLD)

  8. #18
    Senior Member TD's Avatar
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    Aug 2001
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    Phoenix, AZ, USA
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    In regards to crying alot

    I used to stifle my tears, believing the old wive's tale that real men don't cry. Then I learned that when you cry your brain releases endorphins. Endorphins are the body's morphine. If you are in pain then cry, it helps tremendously.

    Like WhiteRabbit, I am bordering on geezer status. I am a T4 with lots of other physical problems (crushing, brain damage, etc.) yet I still hold out hope for the cure and believe it will come, in stages, very soon. As has already been said, keep a constant vigil on the Cure Forum and keep exercising. When your turn comes you want to be able to get up and walk away from that damned chair and never look back again. In the mean time, get out your pole and tackle and soak up some sun. We will always be here to help you get through any problems that come your way. My accident happened in '95 and I still come here to pick the brains of my fellow SCId to ease my travels through this life.

    Think of the last truck you restored and had a hard time finding a part. How many junkyards did you call? You did not give up then so do not give up now. You can have that "truck" you call a body back in cherry shape, all you need to do is keep searching for those parts.

    "And so it begins."

  9. #19
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
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    B.C.,Canada
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    Well I think by the number of well wishers that posted you must have a good Idea that this will get better life goes on. You as as a T8 can still do a lot of things with life I know I'm T8 almost 1 year post. You just have to set a goal and work for it give yourself a purpose for your life if not just to live for your freinds and family for your community join a service club or another voulenteer organization it can make a world of difference.

  10. #20

    Who sez men don't cry?

    The two things I always tell the newbies:
    1. SCI is hell.
    2. You get used to it.

    I just looked in your profile and saw you're only 9 months postinjury. I think people have said a lot of good things. I think if you need to cry every day then go ahead and do it. If you had lost a family member or a loved one you'd be doing the same thing; everybody needs a chance to mourn.

    One other thing you might want to look into also is finding a pain management specialist. There are a few treatments that come to mind (biofeedback, meditation etc.) that work for some people. I also hear that Elavil (?) is a drug that works both on depression and pain.

    Everyone here on this forum has experienced what you're going through, so please keep posting.

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