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Thread: Eating disorder and depression

  1. #1
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    Eating disorder and depression

    This isn't easy, but sometimes you have to be real.

    A little over a week ago, I posted my concerns here about a possible eating disorder. I was at the point where I simply couldn't eat, and was losing weight too fast. KLD confirmed my fears and told me to call my doctor that day. I did. I'm so glad I did.

    Instead of anorexia, the doctor diagnosed depression due to stress and anxiety, and I've started on an anti-depressant. Hopefully this is temporary. The blood work indicates my blood sugar is high, so I return next week for more work. My appetite is returning, but I've lost 12 pounds in two weeks.

    I'm sharing all of this because, after my doctor's appointment, I became ashamed, embarrassed and scared ... so I deleted the topic. Now ... I have my share of critics and enemies around here, but none can compare to myself. Words like "coward," "hypocrite" and a few others kept coming to mind. And why was it that I, of all people, who have no trouble splattering my guts about almost every emotional, relational, sexual experience, thought or opinion, would suddenly be ashamed of a legitimate medical/emotional problem?

    Greater minds than mine will have to answer that one.

    Fear had a lot to do with it. After seeing the doctor I realized just how out of control my life was. I couldn't eat. I was getting sick. If I didn't eat, I would eventually die. I didn't know how to "fix it." I felt like I was heading downhill in a car on a spiraling mountain highway and my brakes were out. Pure panic.

    I'm hoping that this experience will encourage anyone else out there who may be struggling with similar issues. SCI takes a devastating toll on its victim and those close to him or her, especially the caregiver. Depression is rampant but often gets overshadowed by all the serious physical issues. Please get help. See your doctor. It literally can kill you.

    Also I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to the entire CareCure Community. Reading over some of my posts over the last few weeks, I'm afraid I expressed more than was appropriate at times, especially as a moderator. It appears some of my boundaries got a little blurred. Also I'm sorry for not being real. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Don't apologize for your posts. I believe most all of us here have had periods of depression and lost controll of our lifes. I think it is normale in your situation. I have had up and downs all my life and in the downs periodes I stop eating too. So all my life I have been "skin and bones" and if you look around most of the SCI people are.

    Most of the people taking antidepressive pills is gaining weight because they get hungry and because of the pills. In my worse periode I was 44 kg and I am 1,70 m tall. Now I am 54 kg and I am never gonna be fat. The only time I have been fat was in my pregnancys.

    I hope the pills is making you feel better and that your life is getting better by the time

  3. #3
    Thank you for having the courage to repost about your recent problems. I hope that this can help others come forward who may have similar concerns they have been afraid to share.

    Congratulations on caring enough about yourself to get help, and following through on it too!

    (KLD)

  4. #4
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    Martha

    When I think of your posts, I think of posts that were made with sincere thought and concern. You obviously take the time to truly listen to others, and then you post your reply with care and compassion. And often a really needed dose of humor! You have nothing to apologize for!

    I am glad that you went to the doctor and are making steps to get things under control. It's all uphill from here!

    You reach out to so many people on this forum. Don't forget that you are worthy and loved and any time you need support, it's okay and expected to let us know, that you need us to reach back to you! You don't have to go through anything alone and you don't always have to be "the strong one". I know a little bit about that "syndrome"! Sometimes even the strong need a little bit of support!

    Carol

  5. #5
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    Thanks for your kind words. They really help.

    I'm having to rearrange some priorities in my life, mainly avoiding those people, circumstances, settings that cause me stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, work is the primary cause of this issue right now--and I cannot avoid it. The situation is unbelievable, and I simply cannot speak about it. So I've had to stuff it. Thus ... this.

    I hope being a little transparent here about this issue will help someone else in a similar situation.

  6. #6
    Senior Member PB72181's Avatar
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    *hugs* Yes, depression can literally kill you if it gets bad enough...and it's a scary, scary thing, because you feel so powerless to stop it. Like it's an endless downward spiral. I'm glad you're getting help, though. I'm proud of you for doing that. Be proud of yourself.

    I'm not deaf...I'm just ignoring you!

  7. #7
    Martha,
    GOOD for you for seeing the doctor about this. Depression definitely causes a lack of appetite. If distorted body image went with it, then yes...it would be in the realm of anorexia nervosa...a very insidious disease. Depression is equally horrible.

    Good for you for getting help. Really, it takes a strong person to get help. I deal with depression and am nearly recovered from anorexia, though the thoughts still get me when life gets hard.

    If the first try at anti-depressants doesn't work, keep working with your doctor or psych...they have so many different combinations that can get you functioning as your sparkling vibrant self again.

    Hugs,
    Heather

  8. #8
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    PB, Heather ... you guys are wonderful. Thanks for your kind words and hugs. They help more than you'll ever know.

    Every day is better. The work situation took a sudden, miraculous turn. The situation appears to no longer exist ... which is fine with me.

    The company I work for had ANOTHER crawfish boil yesterday, and, once again, I ate like a pig. It must have something to do with being with people (especially if they happen to be male, single, attractive and bringing you food ). Anyway it feels good to be crawling out of the muck and mire and transitioning back to my "sparkling, vibrant self" (LOL thanks!).

  9. #9
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    Went to the doctor today, and the news was mixed. I've dropped another 6 pounds in a little over 2 weeks. That's better than 12 pounds in 2 weeks, but the doc wasn't happy. However heart rate and blood pressure are normal. Blood sugar test results will be in tomorrow. She's ordered an upper GI series and gall bladder tests--wondering about possible ulcers.

    Emotionally doing better, meds are helping--and I hate admitting that. Wish I could say I didn't need them, but I obviously do. However, for some reason, I still can't eat like I should. The good news is I'm having an unusual craving for Total Raisin Bran, so I'm eating as much as I can. Someone suggested I put walnuts in it for the added protein and omega-complex whatever. Sounds good to me. I've lost a lot of muscle, especially in my thighs, so I've got to get working on rebuilding that soon.

  10. #10
    Have you had the test to see if you have hyperthyreosis? I had that and lost 14 kg in a few month. I was in the hospital and they were feding me because they thought I was too thin and after a week I had lost 5 kg more.

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