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Thread: Hurt people hurt people

  1. #21
    From what Ive taken of this post is that hurt people or people with spinal cord injuries like to hurt others. If its verbally or what ever on here. I see people that will never be at ease with there life, they are mad, First you have to get over it, theres nothing you can do to change it.

    For someone to get on a public internet like this and tell about their lovelife or anything personal should be kept off. then you wonder why people get there feelings hurt!

  2. #22
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    Hey chick. I don't see where Metro is comparing child molesters to SCI. My impression is he's saying they're hurting people too. I've never seen a "cycle of abuse" with SCI people either. You're absolutely correct in saying they are not the same.

    ~ Joy to the world, all the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me. ~ Three Dog Night

  3. #23
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    Tburst, don't think anyone has said that SCI people LIKE to hurt others. Sadism I haven't seen around here. Masochism, narcissism, yes--just speaking for MYSELF!

    ~ Joy to the world, all the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me. ~ Three Dog Night

  4. #24

    wasn't comparing sci to child abusers

    wasn't my intent.. just hurt people that hurt other people ..simple as that
    just from talking to people that were familiar with sexual child abusers in prison, they said that all ( and i dint know if its 100% true) child abusers were abused themselves as children .
    nothing to do with sci, they were hurt emotionally and physically when young

  5. #25
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Originally posted by tburst:

    From what Ive taken of this post is that hurt people or people with spinal cord injuries like to hurt others. If its verbally or what ever on here. I see people that will never be at ease with there life, they are mad, First you have to get over it, theres nothing you can do to change it.

    For someone to get on a public internet like this and tell about their lovelife or anything personal should be kept off. then you wonder why people get there feelings hurt!
    It's a little harsh to say that if you post anything about yourself you basically deserve what you get .... thanks tburst, that really feels good to someone like me who just posted below that I got my feelings hurt here! Geez!

    Have you not ever reached out to others? Made a friend on the internet - even posted something about yourself publicly? It's worth it, even if you get hurt sometimes. Open yourself up, I have made TREMENDOUS friendships via the public internet, and I'll not be ashamed of saying when I get my feelings hurt.

    I disagree completely, there is a whole board here for relationships & sexuality .... nothing personal should be posted here?

    Give me a break tburst.

    Zilla <--- who is a little miffed at your post, yes

    Zillazangel, I am an able bodied significant other of a C4/5 quadriplegic man

  6. #26
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Martha, I'm having trouble starting a PT with you - will you send me one I can reply to? Thanks. (sorry to everyone else to clutter up the thread)

    Zillazangel, I am an able bodied significant other of a C4/5 quadriplegic man

  7. #27
    I stumbled across this thread and a incredible book came to mind.

    The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz explains why we are programmed hurt others.

    Check it out.



    "In my travels all around the world, I have come to realize that what distinguishes one child from another is not ability but access; access to opportunity, access to love". -Lauryn Hill

  8. #28
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    JLB, thanks so much. I especially appreciated this passage:

    ''There are two kinds of humans - the humans that are like flies, and the humans that are like bees. Bees Love honey. Flies like poo.'' And I asked her, ''What kind of human being are you.'' She said, ''I'm like honey.'' I said, ''If you behave like honey, the bees will come to you. If you behave like poo the files will come to you.'' And she said, ''Now I've got it - okay - it's so simple - I need to become honey. And if I become honey, a bee who only Loves honey will come to me.'' And I said, ''Honey is Love, and poo is all that emotional poison. Who wants that? Only flies.''

    So you have a man that you love, and you say, ''Ah, honey, I love you so much, take my poo!'' That's what we do when we send our jealousy, envy, or anger to the one that we love. Why in the world would we want to give that to someone that we love?

    Or what if someone says that they love us, and they project envy or jealousy or self-righteousness, or try to control the way we walk or the way we talk - wow, this is a fly, really.

    We have to be so clear with what we want. Then the perfect match is honey and a bee. If we have awareness we can see that clearly. But without awareness there is no way we can see that. We can behave like poo or we can behave like honey. With this choice, everything can change.


    The Mastery of Love

    ~ Joy to the world, all the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me. ~ Three Dog Night

    [This message was edited by marcomo on 09-10-04 at 08:53 PM.]

  9. #29
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    A little more about anger and outburts. While Scott and I were in counseling at Shepherd, we hit a point where we were both visibly upset, voices raised, angry/hurtful words being exchanged. The therapist listened quietly and then said something that shocked us both:

    "Wow, you two must love each other very much. There's a lot of passion here."

    Boy, did that shut us up, because we SURE weren't feeling love or "passion" at that point. However, he pointed out that anger is passion too, that often the intensity of our anger at someone is mirrored by the intensity of our love for that person. So when someone we truly love or care about hurts/angers us, the RAGE we exhibit--often investing time and energy expressing that rage--actually reflects how much we care.

    Of course trying to explain this principle to someone blasting you with their words will often incite more of their wrath. Don't bother. You will be blamed for everything.

    This can also happen female to female, but obviously for different reasons, and it will be expressed USUALLY less obviously.

    ~ Joy to the world, all the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me. ~ Three Dog Night

    [This message was edited by marcomo on 09-11-04 at 12:03 PM.]

  10. #30
    Wow, you two must love each other very much. There's a lot of passion here."

    Boy, did that shut us up, because we SURE weren't feeling love or "passion" at that point. However, he pointed out that anger is passion too, that often the intensity of our anger at someone is mirrored by the intensity of our love for that person. So when someone we truly love or care about hurts/angers us, the RAGE we exhibit--often investing time and energy expressing that rage--actually reflects how much we care.
    Gee, I never thought of it that way, but it's spooky to think that Chris Chappel has passion for me.

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