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Thread: Hurt people hurt people

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    Hurt people hurt people

    Hurt people hurt people.

    If spinal cord injury has touched your life to any degree, you are a hurting person. So, we can safely conclude that a majority of CareCure members are hurting people.

    Lately we've seen that pain in the words and actions of several members on the boards. A lot of it takes place behind the scenes too.

    Hurt people hurt people.

    Others act out their pain differently, but it can be equally antagonizing and disruptive, in spite of their "good" intentions. The attention they/we hunger for is a flimsy band-aid on a serious wound.

    Hurt people hurt people.

    I cringe when I read some of the words people post here. Not only am I hurting for their targets, but I hurt for the person shooting the arrows. They obviously don't realize how much of their soul they're revealing by what they say.

    It's as though they slash their wrists and allow their blood to seep through the forums. It's painful to watch.

    Hurt people hurt people.

    CareCure is a great place with lots of sci information, if that's what you're looking for. If you're looking for encouragement, support, advice or fun, it's here too, which is why we have other forums besides Care and Cure.

    One of our "more senior" member's signature is a beautiful quote from the late Mother Teresa, "If we have no peace, then we have forgotten that we belong to each other." I think about that quote often lately. Then I remember:

    Hurt people hurt people.

    ~ What people say about you reveals more about them than it does about you. ~ A wise woman

  2. #2
    Originally posted by marcomo:

    Hurt people hurt people.

    If spinal cord injury has touched your life to any degree, you are a hurting person. So, we can safely conclude that a majority of CareCure members are hurting people.

    Lately we’ve seen that pain in the words and actions of several members on the boards. A lot of it takes place behind the scenes too.

    Hurt people hurt people.

    Others act out their pain differently, but it can be equally antagonizing and disruptive, in spite of their "good" intentions. The attention they/we hunger for is a flimsy band-aid on a serious wound.

    Hurt people hurt people.

    I cringe when I read some of the words people post here. Not only am I hurting for their targets, but I hurt for the person shooting the arrows. They obviously don’t realize how much of their soul they’re revealing by what they say.

    It’s as though they slash their wrists and allow their blood to seep through the forums. It’s painful to watch.

    Hurt people hurt people.

    CareCure is a great place with lots of sci information, if that’s what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for encouragement, support, advice or fun, it’s here too, which is why we have other forums besides Care and Cure.

    One of our “more senior” member’s signature is a beautiful quote from the late Mother Teresa, “If we have no peace, then we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” I think about that quote often lately. Then I remember:

    Hurt people hurt people.

    ~ _What people say about you reveals more about them than it does about you._ ~ A wise woman
    marcomo,
    I kind of disagree here.
    People hurt people period.
    I see just as much in real life as on any forum.

    And AB's hurt AB's..it just is part of our
    inability as a species to get into peace..and
    loving.

    Of course animals hurt animals for other reasons then food also..kind of an inter-species quality really.

    Help is on the way.

  3. #3
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    I stumbled into this board because I have been hurt here lately! *laugh* UGH. I am a real veteran of the internet and consider myself pretty tough, but after someone posted and said they basically felt sorry for my fiance because I was a psycho who was obsessed with his disability (paraphrasing), I literally broke down in tears in front of my computer screen. My darling 3 year old came over and said "mama sad?"

    Geez. That's when I knew either I had formed a tight connection to this community or TOO tight a connection!!! Then I've had a series of private topics sent to me that I don't know if they are legit or total attacks, and I'm just spinning. I thought about just leaving here, but I have too much to offer and this place has so much to offer me, so I'm staying. (and don't worry, I'm not a drama queen, if I did leave, I would just disappaer, no "goodbye cruel world posts from me, lol!).

    So I was glad to see this thread. Maybe I'll hang out here for awhile until I get my wits about me again.

    ***I need a hug***

    p.s. Lindox, we got turned down for our dog :-( (if you remember back that far!)

    p.p.s. and somebody told me my sig file was obnoxious ..... sigh.

    Zillazangel, I am an able bodied significant other of a C4/5 quadriplegic man

  4. #4
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Lindox, I agree with you, it's not just hurt people that hurt people. People just hurt people. One of the persons that hurt me most here was able bodied! So it's not just injured folk ... it's just human nature unfortunately.

    Zillazangel, I am an able bodied significant other of a C4/5 quadriplegic man

  5. #5
    Senior Member stormie427's Avatar
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    WOW martha,,,very touching post, as i was reading it i was shaking my head,,,thinking i hope others READ and absorb this, lindox is right though,,,people hurt people and it's a sad thing, i know that we don't live in a perfect world but come on people, and some might think,,,oh there goes martha,,,up on a soap box,,,well someone needed to get up there and what better person to do it!
    i too like zilla have formed a bond here that i can't explain,,,what a strange thing it is, i know i can always come here for a wealth of information and comfort, so THANKS martha!!
    ok,,,now who's serving the drinks and i mean the hard stuff,,hehe
    stormie

  6. #6
    Senior Member dogger's Avatar
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    In my opinion , there are two over generalisations here , and as such I must disagree .

    Quote ''Hurt people hurt people.

    If spinal cord injury has touched your life to any degree, you are a hurting person. So, we can safely conclude that a majority of CareCure members are hurting people. '' Unquote .

    Firstly , Quote '' If spinal cord injury has touched your life to any degree, you are a hurting person. '' Unquote . There are a number of SCIs who accept their injury and limitations and get on with life without feeling any mental anguish [ which is what i assume is the context that hurt is used in here ] . I have even met [as I'm sure others have ] an odd SCI who have said [and for the life of me I cannot understand this ] ''SCI has changed me for the better '' .

    Secondly , Quote '' ''Hurt people hurt people.
    '' Unquote . I am sure we all know people who demonstrate immeasurable compassion etc for people who are suffering from various things , when they themselves have health , personal , financial etc problems themselves that must be hurting them .

    thank you ,
    dogger

    every day i wake up is a good one .

  7. #7
    Dogger, if I may, append to your statement ~

    Thirdly, quote"[everything]"unquote. Patronizing.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Jeff's Avatar
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    I think hurt people do hurt people. When they're hurt it props them up to hurt someone else. Temporarily, at least. A documented part of human nature.

    A friend of mine had a nemesis he really hated. The guy was a total asshole. Never had one good thing to say about anyone. So he avoided the guy whenever possible... which was almost never. One night he stopped by the local bar after closing because he was walking by and was curious why the lights weren't off, yet. Lo and behold... the guy he really hated was there... bawling his eyes out in the arms of a rather grandfatherly looking gentleman without near enough whiskers to cover up his decades of wrinkles. My friend was shocked. He left... embarassed. But he was changed. He finally realized what his Sunday School teacher was talking about when he said, "People need love the most when they deserve it the least."

    ~See you at the SCIWire-used-to-be-paralyzed Reunion ~

  9. #9
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    Hurt People Hurt People

    I didn't create the concept, and I haven't read the book, but apparently it's been very helpful to some. I thought it captured what I was trying to say.

    Dogger and chick seem to be very left-brained, analytical people, and as such will tend to examine posts like this very closely, running the stated points through a fine cerebral grid. Honestly, I wish I was more like that. The rest of us seem to be pretty right-brained, creative "expressers" ... and appear to understand the general spirit of the post here.

    Lindox, I agree. People hurt people--AB or DA, rich or poor, intelligent or dim-witted--but often , not always, those people do it out of their own pain. I know I do.

    Zillazangel, I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through. I think women like you and I are often guilty of too much information (TMI, which I'm considering as my new monogram, just to keep me in line ), and it grates on people--and for good reason I'm beginning to see. Less is more, makes you a smaller target too. PT me if you'd like to talk about this more.

    ~ What people say about you reveals more about them than it does about you. ~ A wise woman

  10. #10
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    marcomo

    In general you might be right but where I disagree with your post is in the opening statement in two ways. "If sci has touched your life to any degree you are a hurting person." But, you do state that the "majority" (not everyone) in CC are hurting people. First, I do think a number of people that have been effected by sci in one way or another do move on and the hurting stops (I agree with dogger). We just learn to accept it as a part of life. Second, I think the first statement (for me at least) sets the stage for the rest of your post and brings sci into the picture when reading on. Not certain that was the overall intention. I hope all is well.

    Steve

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