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Thread: To Phebus

  1. #1
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Someplace between Nowhere and Goodbye

    To Phebus

    Phebus, I was sent your post today from the Cure forum. Don't tell me I'm skating on thing ice, bubba. If you do, it's one of the most clear cases of hypocrosy I've ever come across on this website in 5 or 6 years.
    No need to strike at Mary. She didn't mean any harm. You're skating on very thin ice with that "fat" comment. Uncalled for. And whether analogous to your "piece of..." comment which you've beaten to death or not it was a very bad example and a poor choice of words.
    This is incredible. I get the "skating on thin ice" routine, the "uncalled for" routine, the "bad choice of words" routine, etc., for making an EXAMPLE. Yet, when vgrafen called blue a "paralyzed piece of shit," for real, to be cruel, NOT ONE WORD was said by the moderators. NOT ONE WORD. This proves that some members are treated differently, Phebus, in this case vgrafen and myself. Thanks for proving my point.

    One more thing.
    "piece of..." comment which you've beaten to death...
    You got it right, Phebus, and I'll CONTINUE to BEAT IT TO DEATH until the day arrives that I don't LOSE ANYMORE friends to SUICIDE because, in part, of mean, hurtful, thoughtless comments as the one mentioned. Please, again, don't treat some members differently than others, and try to show some compassion towards the feelings of members who may not be as emotionally strong as some in dealing with their sci.

    As to moving the thread to Life, at FIRST you say:
    Many agree, myself included, that the "Life" forum may be more appropriate. We have discussed moving it a few times.

    However, its been the members, not moderators, who have wanted it to stay in the "Cure" forum.

    Just so we're clear.
    See? You said it's the MEMBERS, not moderators, who want it in the "Cure" forum. Are you CLEAR on that Phebus?

    Obviously not, becauseNOW you say:
    This is a democracy rdf not anarchy. I/we the moderators obviously haven't made this point clear. Apologies. Would you like a vote, maybe a poll, to see whether this thread's popularity belongs here or on the "life" forum?
    You certainly changed your tune awful fast, Phebus. Did you have a moderator meet and decide the latest spin? How can you "make yourself clear" when you say two completely different things about the same subject?

    I could care less if you did a poll or not. As I said before, just please treat ALL members the same. And get your story straight. What is it, the first quote, or the second?? Or will there be a third one?

    As to Mary, she thought nothing wrong with the statement "paralyzed piece of shit" directed at another member. Again, this is an uncaring attitude, she's a nurse, and I feel she showed no empathy whatsoever for blue. Did she show blue ANY caring at all when he was called that??? Any??

    NO, she didn't. She didn't think it deserved admonishment, to paraphrase her own words. So, if I use her in an example, and she is offended by it, maybe next time she'll think about the consequences to the recipient of a mean insult before saying such an uncaring thing, and encouraging it by letting it stand as not worthy of judgement.

    I have seen people DIE from KILLING themselves, partly because of such mean crap said to them. I owe nobody an apology, except to the members who email me and ask me to speak for them, of which I haven't done a good job, because you guys are still telling two sides to the story, and treating members differently.

    Phebus, get off your high horse and get your story straight. Again, TREAT ALL MEMBERS EQUALLY.


    That's not a democracy, it's a clique, where you change what you say whenever you choose to, and admonish and warn some for what they post, while not doing the same to others. I won't ever sit by and watch such a thing happen to a wonderful website of which I've been a member since you were barely a teen. Ever. (If your birthdate is correct in your profile).

    If you can't see what I am talking about, then forget it, it's almost a lost cause and maybe it's not worth it anymore. This website has gone downhill since everybody and their brother became a moderator, with friends who are members, which obviously comes across in the unequal treatment of some members.

    Debbie, I'm a man, don't you ever doubt it. I'm a caring, compassionate man, and I care dearly about people, and how they feel inside. I'm sensitive, always have been, and when I say something wrong, my conscience lets me know immediately. Let me tell ya somethin', Debbie, my conscience is clear, and my heart feels good.

    You question my manhood. That's an insult in itself, but I'll let it go. How dare you say such a thing. But are you a caring woman??
    Why haven't you said anything to vgrafen about his comments to blue, Debbie? Do you agree with them? Silence is said to be concurrence. Don't you think vgrafen should apologize to blue?

    I can't see that happening. But I think Mary should apologize to blue for being so callous towards him when he was insulted, to the point where his being insulted isn't even worthy of judgement, in her view. She didn't have to say that, at all, she chose to. I think you should apologize also, for ignoring the insult laid upon blue. Are you caring enough to do so?

    Hmmm...Why do you jump on me when I use the same words as vgrafen in an EXAMPLE? Again, two different attitudes towards two different people. It sometimes sickens me to see such hypocrosy.

    Are you uncaring as to what happens to blue, and only care about your personal friends? That's your choice, I suppose, but again, all I ask is to treat all members with the same respect, and realize the HARMFUL effects that cruel insults and an uncaring attitude towards those with whom you're not enamored, can cause. It can cause horrendous emotional suffering, mental anguish, and if compounded, or ignored, and NOT IMMEDIATELY MADE KNOWN TO ALL IT IS WRONG AND WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, sometimes death.

    Thank you. I will fight for the integrity of this website as hard as possible, but I fear it won't be much for awhile given that I will not have much time in the coming months. I only spent so much time this past week because I was solicited, some members are afraid to speak for fear of being insulted or attacked, and if so, ignored when seeking respite from the moderators for some kind of retribution, or, failing that, understanding. They feel second class, and rightfully so, because of the double standard shown on this site.

    Since I was a young boy, 11 or 12, I have always sought to right a wrong whenever I encounter it. I will continue to do so 'til I die.

    Good Night, let's hope for peace and kindness for all.

  2. #2
    rdf, thank you.

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