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Thread: hi i am new here

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    hi i am new here

    My sons best friend who is 16 was in a 4 wheeler accident which broke his neck at c5 and c6. He can move his arms but he cant control his hands yet. He has some feeling in most of his body now. When it first happened he couldnt feel anything below the neck. I dont know about complete or incomplete but I do know his spinal cord wasnt severed and that it has very bad trama. I guess what I want is hope that he might walk again. My son finds it hard to go to the hospital to see him. Hes afraid he will say the wrong thing. This accident just happened last week and we all are still in a state of shock. Is there hope and what can I do to help.

  2. #2
    Senior Member LauraD's Avatar
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    Hello and Welcome!!

    First of all, I am sorry to hear of your son's friends accident. You will find a lot of great information and a lot of very helpful advice here. Make sure you share this site with your son's friends parents. Tell your son to treat him like he always has, his best friend. I know my daughter liked it best when she wasn't treated as different. Inside they are still the same person. Also, just support his parents and be there for them if you can. I know it meant a lot to me when friends and family were able to be with Heather and give me a break.

    Mom to Heather, age 12, T-12, 4 years post.

  3. #3
    I hope your son gets over his discomfort with his friend soon. Until he does, I hope he will fake it. In rehab people are up against so much, the people that treat us like ourselves are priceless. Laura is right, he's the same person inside. The worst is when people treated me like I'm fragile, or sudddenly too dumb to know things have changed. I knew. I was like now will somebody please crack a joke about kicking my butt out of bed, or how do I eat spaghetti, or not having to walk in high heels anymore or how at least nobody will ever try to make me play volleyball again? I needed to laugh at that stage...crying wasn't going to help.

    Will he walk again? Too early to say. Every injury is different, he is still in spinal shock (the spinal cord is swollen). This can last up to 6 months or so. Until that subsides, there is no way to know what recovery he might get. I was injured at that level, incomplete, I use a wheelchair and walk both. I don't walk well.

    What I do know, he's in for the battle of his life. He needs to work HARD. Is he in a good rehab? That is critical.

    Below is a link to an article by Dr. Young about fresh spinal cord injuries. Please print it out and give it to this boys parents.
    Excerpt from that article:

    Will he/she recover?
    Recovery is the rule and not the exception after spinal cord injury. The probability of recovery is high, especially after "incomplete" spinal cord injury. Clinical trial data indicate that if a person had even slight sensation or movement below the injury site shortly after injury, they will recover an average of 59% of the function they lost and, if they receive high-dose methylprednisolone, they will recover an average of 75% of what they had lost. People admitted to hospital with no motor or sensory function below the injury site recover an average of 8% of the function they had lost but will recover an average of 21% if they received methylprednisolone.

    How long will recovery take?
    Recovery takes a long time. Most recovery occur within 6 months but many people continue to recover function for a year or more. A recent poll of the CareCure Community suggests that 61% recovered function more than one year after injury. In another poll, 16-18% of people who are "complete" spinal cord injury recovered additional function 3 or more years after injury. A recent study detailed how Christopher Reeve recover function over 7 years after his injury. So, recovery frequently continues for years after injury.

    Link to New SCI article

    So, welcome to CareCure, please encourage your son to visit! Send that boy and his family our way too. We might be able to help.

    C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000

  4. #4
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    This may be surprising because it will be no surprise ... just be there. They don't need you to speak words loaded with wisdom ... it won't change a thing. But if you're there, holding a hand, saying a prayer, listening, running errands, feeding the cats, organizing meals, filling in for those who can't do what they normally do ... you will be a gift from God.

    And they will never forget it.

    ~ I could while away the hours, conferrin with the flowers, consultin with the rain .... ~ Scarecrow

  5. #5
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    Hi you all I have been to visit Brock today and my son went as well. He spent about an hour with him today and then Brock went to sleep. Brock had sit up today for 40 minutes today but he was in so much pain. Does that ever cease or is this something he will have to deal with forever. I did find out that he is an incomplete and a c5. I told his mom about this site today. She is so depressed and anxious about all this but she puts up a strong front for Brocky. I want to thank you all for the replies I am gonna print it up and let my son read them so he can see that Brock needs him. I think he is worried that he will say the wrong thing. Thanks again.

  6. #6
    The only "wrong thing" your son can do at this point is abandon his friend.

    Like others have said, so often when this happens, you find out very quickly who your real friends are. They are the ones who visit often and keep coming. The "not real" friends either come once or twice and then disappear, or never come at all. It is not easy for your son, but he just needs to be real, and be there. His friend is not emotionally fragile any more than he was before. What will hurt him worse than anything your son would say is to not be there.

    You can help him by helping him talk about the feelings that are generated by his visits, and supporting his ongoing involvement. Your son may also feel he is doing something if he can learn how and when to help (and when to stand back) as well as helping his friend stay involved with school and other activities during this time.

    (KLD)

  7. #7
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    Maybe it would help for your son to take him music, movies, read to him or just sit quietly. Learn how to help transfer him when feasible, take him outside when able. Just keep going. It will get easier. It's okay to cry, feel guilty for being healthy, but stay with him. That passes and they can move on. Sometimes it's easier for some to actually be doing something, help make a ramp, bring in real food, etc.

  8. #8
    Senior Member teesieme's Avatar
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    Soon after my son's injury, a few close friends bought an X-box, "for therapy" they said since he also broke his right forearm...sweet...
    there was a young man there in rehab the same time as my son, he was a c injury also, he couldn't use his hands right away, some arm movement...
    between the two kids and I, we figured that if we used a sliding board across the arms of his chair, rubber banded the controller to it, and between the new friend and myself, we would play against my son. Granted we weren't very good at it but it was fun as hell trying to beat my kids butt in doing so! Oh how we laughed at how bad of a team we made~ In time, he gained some control of his fingers and then he was playing on his own with that rigged setup.

    I think the discomfort/worry is lightened some if you help the kids in some roundabout way like this, figure out a way to make things work, so the kids can enjoy doing things similar to prior the accident. Sometimes I would say, what if you were to try this...and they eventually took it from there, figuring it out as they went along their way.

    I remember one kid asking in a group awhile back about what if Harry needed to defend himself...well, I just witnessed my son getting tough with someone a few weeks back, goofing around but in a serious way, I wouldn't want him to get a grip on me like that!!!
    I know it was because of his friends just asking him about it and working with him both seriously and in fun, messing around. Most kids are pretty amazing~~~I bet you have two of those there you love Brocks2ndmom.

    Just like duck hunting, something they had been doing for a few years there...without their knowing it, we built a tabled blind (with a slight grade down/outward, so rain would roll away from them), and used some plywood wide enough for rolling onto from the field to the edge of the river, enough room for two. A friend gets to hunt ducks with the kid and they helped him if he needed it. There it was~ Cheap, easy, fun! Doing something they had done before, just in a different way.

    [This message was edited by teesieme on 08-11-04 at 04:26 PM.]

  9. #9
    Member NANDA's Avatar
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    Hello , it has been awhile since I ws in the forum, please tell your son to be with his friend, to hold his hand, and talk to him when he needs it, when my brother was injured allhis friends where by his side everyday almost until he came home even now a year later they visit him often. They were such help and support, only to feel he is not alone is so important.
    Times do get better, we were very lucky, my brother is now starting to take little steps in support...
    Take care

    NANDA

  10. #10
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    The fact that the sensation has/ is returning is definately a positive. When he is stable enough, look into light gait machines or one called LOKOMAT training. A good friend is someone who is there in bad times as well as good. Your son doesn't need to talk, he needs to listen and just be there. The rest will progress from there. I am holding a good thought for this young person.

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