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Thread: girlfriend is a new quad

  1. #21
    Ray,
    I'm a c6/7 quad seven months post injury. I greatly admire your attitude towards your girlfriend. My girlfriend actually left me after I returned from rehab. No hard feelings though....my only advice to you is to be 100% open with her. Let her know what you're thinking and feeling about the situation. It took me so long to realize this...but these injuries can sometimes be almost as traumatic for family, friends, and loved ones as for the injured person themselves. Keep an open dialogue and don't be afraid to talk about anything and everything...feelings, thoughts, fears, even the gross stuff. Best of luck to you and your girlfriend.

  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Chapel Hill, NC
    Posts
    47
    Ray,
    My bf actually responded to you earlier but I thought something coming from my perspective would be helpful as well. My bf was injured about eight months ago in a diving accident and after surgery in Israel and rehab in Denver he returned to NC in November to a girlfriend that turned away from him(this is not me this is the now "ex")So I met him after his injury and actually talked a lot with him on the internet and phone before actually getting to know him in person(which is different in your case i'm sure..seeing someone you love become almost helpless and dependent is hard). So we've been dating for a few months now and the secret is...as he said...be completely open with each other. We have been open with everything since the start and nothing about his situation bothers me at all...if anything it makes me love him more that he handles himself so well and with such optimism and dignity. You say your gf is very possitive which is a great thing, youwill find that she will be the one keeping your head up at times. As my bf said earlier it is almost as hard on the family and friends, in a different way of course, but talking with your loved one, crying and sharing your feelings, is absolutely necessary. Even if you talk and try to make things work, it could be that you two arent meant to be together and that there could be someone out there for each of you who can meet your personal needs better. Just give it a try and be there for her, she appreciates it and you will hopefully find, as I have, that by being there and sharing your feelings you discover the true colors of not only your loved one but of life as well!! Keep in touch!!

  3. #23
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Boca Raton, Florida, USA
    Posts
    1,451
    Actually, I disagree about the rehab setting being "full of hope." I was the only hopeful one in the place. People just kept telling me to "give it up."

    So I went back to work while I was in rehab. I shut out the noise, and used my time to surf the web for cures...

  4. #24
    89' was the car wreck that turned my then fiance and I on a different path.... and yes there have been tough times but the good has always trumph the bad. Married now for 12 years and two fine boys! never had a second thought about staying until the end with her she may be in a wheelchair but to me she is still the smartest, sexiest and most wonderful person I have ever been blessed to be with!
    Her spirit and mind make up for any loss of body.... and she still to this day gets new stuff back..... so hope is never lost!
    She even has able-bodied people (friends/relatives) call her and just cry and cry about how screwed up their lives are....ding dong, she wants to say "hey I woke up paralyzed today!" but instead she helps them with their pitly problems.....
    she has truly amazed me and made every minute of our lives worth any small effort

    So I say hang in there, grow old together and enjoy a path less traveled by the rest of the world.......

  5. #25
    My girlfriend is a quad c6/c7. It will be a year July 12. We were only together for 6 mos. before the injury but I loved her then and I love her now. Things are tough but we get through it. You just can't get up and go like we used to, people look at you a little differently but it is more out of their ignorance. Just make you can handle the situation and be honest with yourself and her.

  6. #26
    hubof, great story, thanks for sharing. I'm curious about your wife still regaining function even 12 yrs later. Can you elaborate?

    350, hang in there, she sounds special. Sorry that she joined our club but glad that you guys found us - CC.

    Onward and upward.

  7. #27
    Originally posted by Chris Chappell:

    hubof, great story, thanks for sharing. I'm curious about your wife still regaining function even 12 yrs later. Can you elaborate?

    350, hang in there, she sounds special. Sorry that she joined our club but glad that you guys found us - CC.

    Onward and upward.

    hey, well where do I start?
    after the accident she went through therapy and they told her to accept her fate......
    so for a while she sat in a recliner in her parents house.. where her mother cathed her and did her program and basically everything

    one day she (felt lead- this is christian lingo) decided to go to a therapy place in in california (we live in GA.) the sole reason? they had hope.....
    to be honest the therapy place did little, except give her hope.....
    She learned how to do reflex urination and has developed it so that she no longer has to cath
    she was able to ambilate(sp?) with braces this proved to be impracticle(sp?)<--latenight....anyway what she did gain was improved confidence and developed new muscle movement that she either didn't have or didn't know she had
    I think us working together, while frustrating has proved to be the most beneficial......

    She is my hero in many ways..... she gave birth to two wonderful boys.. and she even homeschools them.........her hope may get week but it never dies.....
    long story short
    increased muscle function in hands and torso with balance.
    ablility to go to the bathroom with little to no help
    she takes her own showers........

    it's late let me think

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