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Thread: girlfriend is a new quad

  1. #11
    hey man, i am new to my injury as a T6 para for about 5 months now and im still in outpatient rehab, now im fixin to learn to drive again and have full use of my arms so i dont know much about your situation but ive gotta say, a cure is coming, i know ill walk again in 10 years or less, so if she wants to, she will, it sounds like you love her cause of the women she is on the inside not the outside and thats what counts. im a 24 year old college student at the time of my accident, never having problem with getting a girl, but i have thought about how hard it would be now with my condition but im really not worried about it. ill be honest, i probably never would have dated someone injured before my accident then, but ive changed since my accident and look at the inside and not the outside now. she is lucky to have you, and yes, itll be hard but if you love each other, itll be ok and things will constanly get better and better day by day, i know i do so its true. just remember you are inlove with whats inside her and thats what matters.

    "Nobody's perfect, until you fall in love with them"

    Josh Stevens
    T6 para as of 7/17/03

  2. #12
    Member mjhopper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Clearwater, Florida
    Posts
    91
    Josh,

    Are you living in St. Pete now? I'm a para 5 1/2 years ago,T11,T12, I was bayflighted to Bayfront Hospital.. Actually I grew up in St. Pete and went to Bogie High School,which was many years ago.
    MJ


    Originally posted by Josh S.:

    hey man, i am new to my injury as a T6 para for about 5 months now and im still in outpatient rehab, now im fixin to learn to drive again and have full use of my arms so i dont know much about your situation but ive gotta say, a cure is coming, i know ill walk again in 10 years or less, so if she wants to, she will, it sounds like you love her cause of the women she is on the inside not the outside and thats what counts. im a 24 year old college student at the time of my accident, never having problem with getting a girl, but i have thought about how hard it would be now with my condition but im really not worried about it. ill be honest, i probably never would have dated someone injured before my accident then, but ive changed since my accident and look at the inside and not the outside now. she is lucky to have you, and yes, itll be hard but if you love each other, itll be ok and things will constanly get better and better day by day, i know i do so its true. just remember you are inlove with whats inside her and thats what matters.

    "Nobody's perfect, until you fall in love with them"

    Josh Stevens
    T6 para as of 7/17/03

  3. #13
    Senior Member amanda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Arkansas, USA
    Posts
    959
    once again...you sound like a great guy! I am a new quad myself.. c5/c6, one year next month. doesn't seem that long ago 'cause i was in the i.c.u. and rehab for many months after the injury. i am 21, female, and was pretty active prior( and trying to get back to being that way post) to my injury also( no soccer scholalorships..but I wish).my best advice is try to be there for ther in the same ways as you would before. try to not make her feel like less of a person due to her injury. as much tough love as it may take..it's still love...if that makes any sense?!i too am with my high school sweetheart still. and through my injury he has been soooooo much strength for me. believe it or not, your relationship can grow from this.the fact that you are on here trying to find info. on her situation, show that you care about her and want to do the best for her. be patient. and know that she is still herself. all gets better with time, i promise.

    The heart seems to have its reasons which even reason cannot understand.

  4. #14
    You already said you had no intentions of leaving her, that's great. Stand by your word. To leave her at a time like this could devastate her and crush her opinion of men for years to come.

    Don't be the guy who claims he loves you and never will leave as your wondering where the hell he went.

  5. #15
    I think it's different with me and Kim than it is with a lot of other guys. I'm not staying with her out of a sense of loyalty or duty. I won't leave her because I just can't imagine my life without her. Honestly, when I was waiting in the hospital to see if she would live or die, I was already contemplating my suicide note. That's how deep the connection between us is. There's a lot of history between us that I really haven't had the time to go into detail about on this board yet. Thanks for your kind words. I'm sure Kim will appreciate them too(Unfortunately, her computer is down for a few days until she can get it fixed)

    Originally posted by november:

    You already said you had no intentions of leaving her, that's great. Stand by your word. To leave her at a time like this could devastate her and crush her opinion of men for years to come.

    Don't be the guy who claims he loves you and never will leave as your wondering where the hell he went.

  6. #16
    be patient, and think that the cxure is in the next corner.
    if you are in love no problem because is the most powerfull thing in the world.LOVE

  7. #17
    Guest
    I'm a para myself (1 year post). My girlfriend left me about 4 month's after my accident. It crushed me, I didn't need it at the time and situation I was in. Just stay with her and accept the challenge's with her road to recovery. Just remember in time you will be looking down or at eye level with her when she's up on two again. Good Luck and God Bless.
    Nick..

  8. #18
    Ray I am new to the boards and just came across your post. Let me just say that you and your girlfriend are in my prayers. My son Scott was injured January 17. For some strange reason I felt like because of his injury he wouldn't be the same PERSON he was before. He is. His body has just changed. I try to let his friends know this too. I admire you for staying with your girlfriend and supporting her through this very difficult time for both of you. Just remember to keep the lines of communication open. She does need to know how you feel and you need to know how she feels. It is healthy to cry so do it. Don't be ashamed of that emotion that comes from loving someone so much. There is a reason you are in her life. Good luck to both of you.

    God Bless!

  9. #19
    If you are committed to staying with your girlfriend, then the next best thing to do is discuss her needs for equipment, personal care, accommodations, etc. starting with the first thing on Sunday and the last thing on Saturday. In general these things include housing, activities for daily living, transportation, school, and recreation. As you identify the barriers to doing these things, you can then begin to determine where the resources are; i.e., insurance, public and private programs, family resources, and college (if that's still her goal). Begin with the items that are most urgent. By breaking down SCI needs into more manageable tasks, life will gradually settle into a routine and require fewer adjustments.

  10. #20
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    6
    I am a 27 year old female 8 months post injury. My boyfriend of 5years couldn't deal with my injury nor could he stand by me during my emotional ups and downs. Just be with her, help & motivate her with her physical therapy and remind her of how beautiful she is and she will come out of this a BETTER person. I have to believe these things happen for a reason.

    Stay Strong

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