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Thread: Family and Spinal Cord Injury - New Article on CareCure

  1. #11
    Thanks for all the replies. I am humbled by some of the responses. I just updated article a bit with:

    • Added some studies (mostly from the early 1980's) on children of spinal-injured parents, suggesting that child adjustment, identity, self-esteem, etc. is not adversely affected.
    • Separated male and female fertility issues, adding more information about menarche and pregnancy.
    • Added some references from the depression literature.

    Wise.

  2. #12
    Moderator kate's Avatar
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    Us, too Phebus--

    We've been back to the hospital a lot, certainly on important holidays and the anniversaries of the accident. I was astonished when it was our turn in the fire that there was NO support group, no system in place for spouses or parents, and nothing at all for the kids of injured people.

    How is the need for this not obvious??

    Also, you're right on about the bad information still so common among the hospital staff, from the aides to the er intake people to the doctors themselves. I took it for granted that because we happened to be at one of the best trauma centers in the west, he'd naturally get the best and most up-to-date kind of care. Not so, or at least not necessarily so. That's one reason we keep going back--because so many of them were wrong about his prognosis, and as someone said on this thread, hope is crucial for everyone involved.

  3. #13
    Kate is right...

    What counts most is relationships....

    Strength in numbers...I have observed that here...

    Mary

    ...and she lived happily ever after...

  4. #14
    Junior Member wolflarson's Avatar
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    Wise,

    I found your article quite comprehensive from the perspective of pulling in research studies from a varied set of sources. I have not seen a compilation like this before although I am familiar with a number of the studies you have referenced. I think referencing the studies themselves is hugely useful in that without that, alot of what I see written lacks any statistical credibility which is important to me in assessing the value of the material. Without the studies (which in themselves may be biased, out-of-date or in some other way flawed), it would read as feel-good type positivism without anything tangible.

    Thanks,

  5. #15
    I would like to agree with Kate. I think the solidity of the marriage before the SCI probably has a big impact on whether or not the marriage will survive. My marriage did not survive, but the problems that caused the breakup were there before the injury. When I came home from the hospital, I needed ALOT of help, and all of my family had gone home (his family never bothered to even come). He refused to provide any assistance at all (he later said he just "freaked"), and I had two children and a house to run. Thank God for friends who would drive the kids and run errands and bring meals, and a 6 year old willing to learn to cook, an 11 year old who could learn to pay bills (insufficient hand function to write), public door to door handicapped transportation to get me to PT, etc. If I asked for help, he yelled at me and told me I was being a burden. I stopped asking. That was the beginning of the end, but looking back, his lack of support and empathy was nothing new, just never so blantantly apparent. He was offered no support or counseling the two months I was in rehab, I think it should have been mandated. At this point, I am not bitter, we had an unhealthy marriage that needed to end. And while it was a struggle at the time, I came out of it with courage and self-confidence that I never knew I had. People look at me like I am nuts when I say my accident was the best thing that ever happened to me, but that is truly how I feel. Physically it is a struggle, but emotionally I am a very different person, one that I like much better.

  6. #16

    Angry article

    I would truly love to read this article but every time I click on it, it shows an error.
    DavesMom, Diane

  7. #17

  8. #18
    Working now...but you do know that this thread is 10 years old, right????

    http://sci.rutgers.edu/index.php?pag...adjustment.htm

    (KLD)

  9. #19
    Senior Member
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    Wise - the link to your article isn't working...I'd be interested in reading the article if you put it back up.

    After a spinal cord injury relationships with family members can be both the most important and most emotionally challenging. Family are often your biggest supports, caregivers (depending on injury level) and confidants. On the other hand depending how your injury happened, if say a family member was present or in some way had a role in the accident that caused a spinal cord injury...some family members can carry a lot of feelings of guilt that is hard to resolve.

    With my injury, I have all these issues and more... Anyone else have similar issues with family members surrounding their injuries?
    C4/5 incomplete, 17 years since injury

    "The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” - Carlos Castaneda

    "We live not alone but chained to a creature of a different kingdom: our body." - Marcel Proust

  10. #20
    See above. It is working now.

    (KLD)

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