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Thread: Disciplining my daughter

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    Disciplining my daughter

    Hi

    My eight year old daughter has been a very good and respectful child until recently when she started throwing tantrums and demanding things. She has also gotten very lazy and just wants to sit in front of the television.

    I never gave her a spanking and i don't think i ever will because, i don't believe it's the right way to discipline a child. Please advise me on other forms of discipline as she is now really becoming a handful!

    PS - her mother does not live with us and she very rarely makes an attempt to visit.

  2. #2
    All the children are difficult in that age. We call it pre puberty(?). The best thing you can do is try to talk to her, do things with her and don't let her look tv to much. Try to make her go out and play together with the other children.

    And never spank her In Norway it has been forbidden to spank and hit the children the last 20 years and if you do you go to jail and you loose costedy of the child. The children grow up nice anyway.

    TH 12 incomplete 12-12-69.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Thanx for the advise "woman from europe" - i have no intention of spanking her

  4. #4
    Senior Member melikeconan's Avatar
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    Bust her ass.

  5. #5
    OH Shawn...welcome my friend to the wonderful world of pre-adolescent hormonal loveliness! It is not abnormal to see changes like this in your daughter as she is maturing, I saw them in mine too. The thing about our children is just when we think we have it knocked, they up and change on us! There is no real one cure here, but for us, this was the time that I had to (and still do) have to create an environment of change making privileges more of a payoff for work done and good behavior, rather than an every minute right to their happiness and freedom. What is important is to find a way to communicate and reinforce daily what the expectations and requirements are in order for her to have her lazy times. If she accomplishes these things with a reasonably decent attitude then she earns her choice and autonomy over whats left of her time. All children are different Shawn, and only you know yours, so you have to find a means of communicating and reinforcing that will work for her. With my daughter, I gave her directions last September, and she has to this day maintained most of what I ask of her. On the other hand, my son requires an entire tutorial almost daily to remember that socks do not need to be planted as seed in order to remain healthy and multiply. Both are delightful children, but no matter what you end up with there are always going to be rough waters as these years are turbulent! If I was speaking from any great position of success I would say so..but my morning began with some adolescent angst about this or that, what should I wear and no that shirt is ( a really unpolitically correct word) and me being called a "cretin" for expecting someone to actually eat the food I cooked rather than insist a Nestles Crunch Bar is a viable alternative...My friend..whatever you try...keep trying and over and over..remember to say...I LOVE YOU, and YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME.

    Best Wishes really....and melikeconan....my current phrase of choice is" I am going to beat you!" Of course the boy is bigger than me......

    Don't let the past keep a chokehold on your future.

  6. #6
    Shawn, my daughter is almost 8. I never have spanked her. I've never even given her a time out. If she's misbeaving, I tell her that she will lose something that she really likes. For example, if she is begging me to go get ice cream, but I don't want to or can't, if she keeps pestering me, I'll say, "If you don't stop asking, you will not get to play on the computer at all tomorrow", (or watch TV, or stay after school and play with friends, etc). And actually doing what you say you are going to do is very important. I see so many moms threaten their kids and then the kid keeps misbeaving, but then they don't follow through. "If you hit Johnny one more time, we're leaving". Then 3 minutes later, the kid hits Johnny again, but the mom doesn't make them leave.

    Sometimes if she is totally freaking out, I just have to hug her and rub her back or stroke her hair and talk softly to her until she calms down.

    I'm lucky because her nature is really easy going. We occassionally have a problem, and I think the most important thing to do in those situations is to stay calm. My father never physically abused me, but he yelled at me all the time. That was no good. I behaved fairly well growing up, but that was because I lived in fear. Punishment from my mom was, "I'll tell Dad".

    Also, just talk to her. Find out what she wants and why it's so important. Find out if something bad happened at school that day, or if there is something else bothering her. A lot of times my daughter won't even realize that something is nagging at her until we start talking.

    Alive for 34 years
    T4/5 complete for 26 years
    Mom for 7 years

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