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Thread: About Living in the Past

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  1. #1

    About Living in the Past

    When the break up of my marriage and lifestyle was so fresh, I reflected a lot. Now, it seems to only come up on holidays and my birthday. The other day I was thinking about some financial planning for myself and I remembered about 4 years ago I was seated at the kitchen table with a financial planner and my then husband discussing the future. The children were at that time 7 and 9. They had both been recently very ill, and I was a stay at home mom with no skills or career. I remember the financial planner telling my x-band that he was underinsured. I still remember his words. "If anything ever happens to me I want her to have to work every day of her life, I don't want to support her". I was sitting there when the planner then said, "Well you have no life insurance on her" My x-band said..."she does not do anything, her life is not worth insuring". I remember looking at the floor...I think that was probably one of the lowest points of my whole life...but when I looked up...I saw the face of the planner whose eyes told me he had never heard such a mean thing in all his life, (later he verbalized that), and I saw beside me the eyes of an empty, hateful, self-involved "man". I saw no love, no care, no nothing.

    Today my daughter celebrates her 11 birthday. I celebrate mine tomorrow. I like to reflect, take attendence in my life and some assessment...this year I saw some new things. Recently my boss reviewed my work and told me I was clinically competent, exceeding expectations in some areas, and that I was a competent and growing Neuroscience Nurse. I have a good job, in a great hospital and work very hard when I am there. Last night I was dragging the trash to the corner from a dinner party I had on Friday night for my parents and some friends, and on the way back I saw the light on the back of my townhouse...It is a pretty little home that I bought all by myself last year and has appreciated about 100K in one year. I am happy about that. I shut the gate on the fence I had built, threw the lock and climbed the stairs to the deck my dad powerwashed for me over the weekend. I was thinking about how the cicadas were dying and the japanese beetles arrived....When I walked in my house my computer showed some fun e-mails from a far away friend who I have really come to love, and the remnants of my daughters birthday party were everywhere...I had just seen The Stepford Wives with a friend, and was thinking about how busy this week was going to be. I looked at my mail, satisfied that while I live simply all my bills are being paid, and I thought about going to bed. There were fresh flowers on my kitchen table because one of my friends knew I loved them. On the way up the stairs lugging my laptop so I could chat a bit before sleep, I thought to myself...

    Mary, YOU really ought to think about buying some life insurance!!

    Have a GREAT day!!!


  2. #2


    T-12 incomplete 10-3-02

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Apex, NC

    Happy birthday to you and your daughter. I think the life insurance is a grand idea and make certain you throw in a dozen roses for yourself also.


  4. #4
    Member Fritsch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    washington dc
    Im so glad your seeing things in such a great light on the special day. You already know how i feel.
    your biggest fan - Rob
    BTW Happy Birthday i should have known you were a Gemini. (im 6/17)

  5. #5
    Mary, you rock!! Happy Birthday to you and your daughter!!


  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    So glad you no longer live there and have left no forwarding address.

    Happy birthday to you and J. Rock on, girlies!

  7. #7
    Wow Mary, that ex of yours and my ex-stepfather must be related. Sounds like you're doing great now. Like my mom always used to tell me "there are worse things than being alone".

    Happy Happy B-day to you and your daughter!

  8. #8
    Thank you all for the kind words. I worked all night, and need to sleep so I will add something later!


  9. #9
    Happy Birthday to youuuuuu,
    Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuu,
    Happy Birthday Dear Marrr -yyyyyyy,
    Happy Birthday toooo yoouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

    I believe birthdays should be spread out over several days. Why be limited to one day, right? Hope yours is very special.

  10. #10
    Happy birthday roomie.

    C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000

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