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Thread: About Living in the Past

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  1. #1

    About Living in the Past

    When the break up of my marriage and lifestyle was so fresh, I reflected a lot. Now, it seems to only come up on holidays and my birthday. The other day I was thinking about some financial planning for myself and I remembered about 4 years ago I was seated at the kitchen table with a financial planner and my then husband discussing the future. The children were at that time 7 and 9. They had both been recently very ill, and I was a stay at home mom with no skills or career. I remember the financial planner telling my x-band that he was underinsured. I still remember his words. "If anything ever happens to me I want her to have to work every day of her life, I don't want to support her". I was sitting there when the planner then said, "Well you have no life insurance on her" My x-band said..."she does not do anything, her life is not worth insuring". I remember looking at the floor...I think that was probably one of the lowest points of my whole life...but when I looked up...I saw the face of the planner whose eyes told me he had never heard such a mean thing in all his life, (later he verbalized that), and I saw beside me the eyes of an empty, hateful, self-involved "man". I saw no love, no care, no nothing.

    Today my daughter celebrates her 11 birthday. I celebrate mine tomorrow. I like to reflect, take attendence in my life and some assessment...this year I saw some new things. Recently my boss reviewed my work and told me I was clinically competent, exceeding expectations in some areas, and that I was a competent and growing Neuroscience Nurse. I have a good job, in a great hospital and work very hard when I am there. Last night I was dragging the trash to the corner from a dinner party I had on Friday night for my parents and some friends, and on the way back I saw the light on the back of my townhouse...It is a pretty little home that I bought all by myself last year and has appreciated about 100K in one year. I am happy about that. I shut the gate on the fence I had built, threw the lock and climbed the stairs to the deck my dad powerwashed for me over the weekend. I was thinking about how the cicadas were dying and the japanese beetles arrived....When I walked in my house my computer showed some fun e-mails from a far away friend who I have really come to love, and the remnants of my daughters birthday party were everywhere...I had just seen The Stepford Wives with a friend, and was thinking about how busy this week was going to be. I looked at my mail, satisfied that while I live simply all my bills are being paid, and I thought about going to bed. There were fresh flowers on my kitchen table because one of my friends knew I loved them. On the way up the stairs lugging my laptop so I could chat a bit before sleep, I thought to myself...

    Mary, YOU really ought to think about buying some life insurance!!

    Have a GREAT day!!!

    Mary

  2. #2
    Mary
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!

    Doug

    T-12 incomplete 10-3-02

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Apex, NC
    Posts
    651
    Mary

    Happy birthday to you and your daughter. I think the life insurance is a grand idea and make certain you throw in a dozen roses for yourself also.

    Steve

  4. #4
    Member Fritsch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    washington dc
    Posts
    95
    Im so glad your seeing things in such a great light on the special day. You already know how i feel.
    your biggest fan - Rob
    BTW Happy Birthday i should have known you were a Gemini. (im 6/17)

  5. #5
    Guest
    Mary, you rock!! Happy Birthday to you and your daughter!!

    Carol

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    2,912
    So glad you no longer live there and have left no forwarding address.

    Happy birthday to you and J. Rock on, girlies!

  7. #7
    Wow Mary, that ex of yours and my ex-stepfather must be related. Sounds like you're doing great now. Like my mom always used to tell me "there are worse things than being alone".

    Happy Happy B-day to you and your daughter!

  8. #8
    Thank you all for the kind words. I worked all night, and need to sleep so I will add something later!

    Mary

  9. #9
    Happy Birthday to youuuuuu,
    Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuu,
    Happy Birthday Dear Marrr -yyyyyyy,
    Happy Birthday toooo yoouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

    I believe birthdays should be spread out over several days. Why be limited to one day, right? Hope yours is very special.

  10. #10
    Happy birthday roomie.

    C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000

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