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Thread: Does it matter?

  1. #21
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    it matters, i had to have help the first year or 2 out of rehab it sucked, help never on time things never done right etc, i feel very lucky to be a c6-7 quad and able to live alone.

  2. #22
    This wasn't an attack on you PB, but your words did inspire my topic. This is something I've often wondered about and wanted to see how other members felt. I believe coping/adjusting to your sci has less to do with your level than quality of life but still feel it affects it too.

    Sorry PB

    Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--unknown

  3. #23
    Senior Member PB72181's Avatar
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    It's okay. I just wanted to make sure I hadn't offended people by accident, because if I did, it was surely unintentional.

    I'm not deaf...I'm just ignoring you!

  4. #24
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    What's the point of your post Kap? You say you can't understand the struggles and frustrations of a quad...and then you have the gall to say we shouldn't complain?

    I wouldn't care if I was the ugliest person alive without a penny to my name, as long as I could care for myself.

    Just so you know:
    My injury is so much worse than yours and if you don't consider yourself lucky, try having someone dress you, shower you, stick their finger up your ass, and do everything for you for just one day. Your statements are easily made from your position.

    All SCIs suck, but some are physically worse than others. Look up life expectancy stats on SCI. Tell me why my life expectancy is 5 years less than a para(even a complete one). Surely it can't be because of more physical complications

  5. #25
    Originally posted by Liz321:

    An old proverb:

    quads want to be paras
    Paras want to be AB
    and AB's wanna be jane fonda
    (i heard this old proverb when jane fonda was making exercise videos )

  6. #26
    People get so angry at hearing a bit of truth. People seem so resigned to to see things through rose colored glasses that they nearly insist that anything outside their periphery remain outside their relevence.

    Acknowledging the differences being discussed does not have to become about X "Verses" Y.
    It is simply recognizing that there are differences that exist and some of these differences impact an individual in much more ways than others.

    Of course, we all experience the social and relational stigma associated with being in a chair. The LESS "normal" one is- ie less function/higher level sci, one is, the greater one is stigmatized and even at times, ostracized from society. The less PHYSICALLY able one is, the less they are able to engage as fully in society. One's PHYSICAL Self DOES IMPACT upon the degree in which they must deal with their situation. All SCI will experience a loss, and every loss is valid. Some do suffer more losses than others, and these physical losses affects the amount of things you have to learn to deal with. This will inevitibly have an effect on one's adjustments. The requirement and demand for higher level SCI IS GREATER. There is no arguing this fact.

    There is no reason for those who are lower injuries or incompletes, to be so defensive or feel as if anyone is saying that they are not sufferring any loss, because that is not what I am reading from the replies here. I'd rather not placate to people's discomfort and sweep over the issue with that tired "we are all the same" non answer.

    Actually, it is an answer. It is a denial. It is patronizing and condescending. It is refusing to appreciate what others are experiencing because you don't want to be dismissed as irrelevant. It is you CHOOSING to feel irrelevant.

    Despite so many painful and dehumanizing things high level quad completes have to live with on a minute to minute daily basis, I see so many who cope better than those who are suffering much less. I know a guy who can only move his head, but has completed law school and working full time, all things he did while living on his own. How? Well, I guess that's something a para can say they can understand, huh.
    I just ran into a girl who has become vent dependent since I last saw her. She attends grad school while requiring assistance from another 24 hours a day. She is bed bound 10 hours during day while mom (primary caregiver) goes to work, because LPN can only work with her in bed, then goes to class at night with her mom by her side. She has use of only a couple of fingers and can't use voice recognition due to vent. I guess a fully independent para can say, they "understand".

    Funny, as Im typing, Im feeling no sympathy for paras, as they whine about how bad they have it. Sutre, it's tough and no one should have to endure any of it, but man, you have NO IDEA of tough unless you LIVE as a quad. I am always so amazed at what people I know who are higher level than me, have accomplished. I am amazed at their strength and determination, and good nature, despite all the stuff they have to deal with, stuff I will never have to deal with (hopefully). They earn respect and admiration.

    Honestly, there isn't much to admire to see a para go to school or work or out active in sports or social events, etc. Much of these things are readily available for them, as it is for any regular person.

    BTW. I love my para buds.

  7. #27
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    Brilliantly stated, chick

  8. #28
    One more thing- Im probably repeating, but

    "Quality of life" and Coping/adjustment, are not mutually exclusive. How one copes and adjusts to their SCI can be greatly affected by the physical function lost that has impacted their quality of life.
    If you can't B/B on your own, or dress or transfer fully independently, what you do is contingent upon the availability of OTHERS willing to help you do what you want. What you enjoy doing and how you want to live can be contingent upon others enabling you to achieve, maybe, some of it. The quality of YOUR life can be greatly contingent upon others. The more physical needs you have, the more issues you need to cope with.

    There is a difference between needing to cope with a 100 different issues compared to 10.

  9. #29
    Senior Member PB72181's Avatar
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    Originally posted by chick:

    Funny, as Im typing, Im feeling no sympathy for paras, as they whine about how bad they have it. Sutre, it's tough and no one should have to endure any of it, but man, you have NO IDEA of tough unless you LIVE as a quad.
    I agree I have no idea what it's like to live as a quad. However, AB people have no idea what it's like to live as me...and if I was to go around dangling that over their heads, people would call me bitter. Just a thought. Not really directed at chick in particular, her sentence just made me think of it.

    I'm not deaf...I'm just ignoring you!

  10. #30
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    Kap, saying that we are cutting down those that have it better than us implies to me that you are saying we complain. By the way, I take absolutely no pleasure in pointing out what you can do that I can't.

    Where did I imply that you said "all our injuries or loss of function are the same either"? You pointed out that you never said, but where did I say you did?

    Call it "hierarchy" crap all you want, but some injuries are worse than others. That's my whole point.

    Your post rubbed me the wrong way when you ended it by saying you spent 20 minutes digging rocks out of your ass. That would suck...wait I can't walk with a cane and...wait I can't use my hands.

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