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Thread: Connecting back with Friends?

  1. #21
    Junior Member kimberkit18's Avatar
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    Jan 2004
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    Fords, Nj, USA
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    After an injury you really find out who your real friends are. Most of my old girlfriends just seemed to forget about me once they went to college. Sure, there are a few who stuck by me and I'll always be grateful to them for that, but I barely talk to 90% of my friends from high school anymore. Most of the people I'm really friends with now are fellow SCIs I met in rehab. At least with them I'm sure that they can understand what I'm going through(even though the majority of them are low Paras). Sure, Ray never left my side while I was recovering enough to come home, but he's the exception. So screw all those losers is what I say. If they were only interested in being friends with Kim the cheerleader/prom queen, I don't need them.
    Kim

  2. #22
    Its been about 2 weeks since ive talked with my two of the three best friends i have had, and i really aint missing them very much. I have figured out that the only thing we had in common before was drinking, playing video games while drinking, and picking up girls while out drinking, so i really dont care that much to talk or hang out anymore. I have found new friends that care and see me for me inside, not out. I wish i could hang out with my new friends all the time but that is only cause ive got nothing important to do 75 percent of the time like everyone else. I am understanding that they have other people too to hang out with, like Significant others, so im accepting that also, I just cant wait til i find my sig. other cause i know that she will be my best friend who wants to be with me almost all the time, yet even i need my free time to myself. What has hurt me from the start is that the ones i thought were my true best friends didnt come see me much in the hospital, and havent much since ive been back in town. Ive made all the efforts to call, and go by their works to see them and try to hang out, so im understanding that i need to let go of my past and proceed with my present and future so i can be truely happy with my life from here on out, and develop my true friends along the way. I am a great guy, and fun to be around, i get soo much praise at how i have coped with this injury, and how i make everyone feel good just to be around them, it truely makes me feel great. I feel better helping others feel good than i do myself. I am such a giving person, yet i wish and hope to recieve the same in return, for everyone deserves to recieve that kind of friendship and love. Thank you all for your replies to my post, and keep on with it, cause i know it is helping more than me cope with this part of their lives too.

    Josh Stevens
    T6 para as of 7/17/03

    "Nobody's perfect...til you fall in love with Them!"


  3. #23
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2003
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    Tupelo, Mississippi, USA
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    I agree with everyone. My son played football and was active with his friends, I barely saw him when he was in high school and lived at home. There has been one friend, that has been there from the beginning, he quit school and his job to go to rehab with David and his ex-wife. He lived with him for a while after rehab. David and his wife divorced and now lives with me and my husband back in his area when he was in school. That friend has since gotten a girl friend (bless his heart). And he doesn't come around that much anymore. David wants what is best for that friend. (a girlfriend). But now he doesn't call and come by anymore at all. And David calls him all the time, wanting to do something with him. Now that David lives at home again, some of his high school friends are coming around (great for David). I was nervous the first time he spent the night over with them. But it worked out fine. Nervous Mom. That's for listening and friends come around, they just don't know what to say. It's hard for them too. That's what David friends tell me.

    Pam Baureis

  4. #24
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2003
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    Tupelo, Mississippi, USA
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    I agree with everyone. My son David played football and was very active with his friends. But alot of them don't come around. He had one friend that was great. He quit school and his job to be with David in rehab. He lived with David and his Daughter and ex-wife. He was a great help to David. David and his wife have divoced and now lives at home with me and my husband. Now that he is back home and in the area where he spent alot of time with his friends. Some are coming around. But his closest friend I mentioned has a girlfriend (which he needs). He doesn't call or come by at all. David misses him alot. David calls him and he just blows David off. Some of his other friends come around, and David has spent the night with them, doing some of the things they used to do. I was very nervous about David spenting the night with them. But things went fine. Nervous mom. Alot of David friends and even family members told me, that they just didn't know what to say. Give yourself time and your friends time too.

    Pam Baureis

  5. #25
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2003
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    Tupelo, Mississippi, USA
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    I posted twice sorry

    Pam Baureis

  6. #26
    Member
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    Sep 2003
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    Vinton, La
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    55
    Josh this is the deal--when Ricky(my fiancee) got in his wreck he realized who was his true friends and who wasn't. He used to be best friends with this guy--I mean they did everything together and to this day he doesn't even ask Ricky how he's doing. He don't even come around like he has some disease or something and it's sad but he'll have to pay one day for the way he's acting. And you know there isn't anything wrong with being close and good friends with a girl. Ricky's best friend is a girl also but he also has a close and good guy friend that never left his side through the whole thing. And maybe your friends dont' know how to adjust just yet but you know I wouldn't give them a chance to let you feel the way you do. your not alone that's for sure you have new friends here, family and you'll make new friends. It will be o.k. if they can't understand and if they want to act like that i say you didnt need them in the first place. Hope this helped.....

  7. #27
    Josh, I was dealt similar circumstances. For me, I found my true friends.

    An old friend and I used to go sailing and fishing all the time. The spontaneity of these activities became severely constrained, as well as our friendship, after becoming paralyzed. He is an emotional person and I believe it saddens him to be around me - always comparing the present to the past. I would not say I have lost a friend, but there is no value gained from our friendship.

    Talk it over with the friends you still see. I did and realized the foundation on which my friendships were built determined the viability and longevity.

    -Lewis

  8. #28
    I'm 23 and still have many of the same friends as I did before my injury 5 years ago, but my situation's a bit different. First off, I can walk with a cane, but with a bad limp on the left side, so maybe people aren't as weirded out as they were when I was in a wheelchair. Also, I don't mind the alcohol and like to go out and get the drink on, macking girls and being a jack ass just like before. In fact, just after my accident my house kinda became the party house. I couldn't really get out, but people didn't mind bringing the party to me.

    I guess if you're still fun to be around, people don't really give a sh*t. I also get just as much attention from the ladies as I did before, which really surprises me.

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