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Thread: 7 degrees of blondeness

  1. #1
    Senior Member bilby's Avatar
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    7 degrees of blondeness

    the phone rang at 2 a. m. The blonde
    wife
    > picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know,
    that's
    > 3000 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?"
    The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is
    clear."
    >
    > SECOND DEGREE
    >
    > Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
    > sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
    and
    > says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,"Here,
    let me
    > see!" The first blonde hands her the compact and the second one looks in
    the
    > mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
    >
    > THIRD DEGREE
    >
    > A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
    buys
    > a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door
    > she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry.
    > She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
    overcome
    > with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend
    yells, "No,
    > honey, don't do it!!!" She blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
    >
    > FOURTH DEGREE
    >
    > A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
    > says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's
    the
    > capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: It's 'W'."
    >
    > FIFTH DEGREE
    >
    > What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
    > "Is it mine?"
    >
    > SIXTH DEGREE
    >
    > Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
    > government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
    > was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the
    decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
    >
    > SEVENTH DEGREE
    >
    > Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
    ransacked
    > and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the
    crime.
    > The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit
    > patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
    approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the
    porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the
    steps. Putting her face in
    > her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I
    > call the police for help, and what do they do?
    > They send me a BLIND policeman."
    >
    > "DUH"
    >
    >
    >

  2. #2
    We need to pull up some men jokes

    Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--unknown

  3. #3
    Senior Member DA's Avatar
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    are you sure these are blonde jokes, or democrat 9 jokes.

  4. #4
    for some strange reason i'm not offended....lol.

  5. #5
    Senior Member bilby's Avatar
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    Sorry November-

    I didn't mean to offend anyone with this post. I personally think blondes are awesome.

  6. #6
    Not offended, I post blonde jokes too
    Originally posted by bilby:

    Sorry November-

    I didn't mean to offend anyone with this post. I personally think blondes are awesome.
    Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--unknown

  7. #7
    Equal opportunity blonde jokes:

    A woman stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling her tank, she paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As she stood by her car to drink her cola, she watched a couple of blonde men working along the roadside.

    One blonde man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other blonde man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the lady with the soft drink and went on down the road.

    "I can't stand this," said the woman, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," she said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"

    "Well, we work for the county," one of the men said.

    "But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?"

    "You don't understand, lady," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there are three of us - me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back. Now just because Rodney is sick, that don't mean that Mike and me can't work."
    There were three construction workers, one was Mexican, one was English, and the other was a blonde. They were on the high scaffolding of the building they were building, and they were eating lunch.

    The Mexican looked in his lunch, and said, "A taco. If I get a taco one more time, I'm going to jump off this building!"

    The English guy looked in his lunch, and said, "Crumpets. If I get crumpets one more time, I'm going to jump off this building!"

    Then the blonde guy looked in his lunch and said, "Bologna sandwich. If I get bologna one more time, I'm going to jump off of this building!"

    The next day they all got the same lunch, and they all jumped off the building and died.

    At the funeral the Mexican's wife said, "If he would have told me he didn't want tacos, I would have made him something different."

    Then the English guy's wife said, "If he would have told me he didn't want crumpets. I would have made him something else."

    Then the blonde guy's wife said, "I don't understand. He made his own lunch."
    Three blond MEN are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across.

    The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.

    The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across.

    Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.
    [This message was edited by Wise Young on 09-04-03 at 08:51 PM.]

  8. #8
    Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
    The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

    Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

    The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

    She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

    The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

    Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

    After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"

    The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

    The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it very slow."

    Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--unknown

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