Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Feeling 'fragile', or just permanently spooked?

  1. #1
    Suspended Andy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Chicago IL
    Posts
    9,722

    Feeling 'fragile', or just permanently spooked?

    After my accident last August (motorcycle into a guardrail) I have this feeling like my body will suffer a ton of damage with the slightest thing that could happen to it (at least to the parts that I cant feel). It makes me chicken to do anything that could remotely hurt me. Before my accident, I basically treated my body like poopoo, and if there was a chance of something happening, I just figured it would heal up (yet again, there was lots of damage I have caused it in the past). But now post SCI, everything has changed. I still have one bike left that there is the possibility of getting an outrigger kit and electric shifter for it so I could ride again, but the whole getting hurt thing is really standing in the way now. I kind of feel like an 80 year old man lately. Does this feeling of fragility and fear of getting hurt ever go away after such a traumatic event in your life?

  2. #2
    Andy, have you had a chance to talk with anyone about your feelings? This can help. Time may not help all by itself. The feelings you are discussing are common, and can be a part of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) which is not uncommon after such a serious injury. Ask your physician to refer you to a psychologist who is experienced in the treatment of PTSD. There is no shame involved in this.

    (KLD)

  3. #3
    Andy-
    I feel like this sometimes. I was always bulletproof before; at 40, I should have known better. Sometimes I think that what I see as excessive fear on my part now is just "normal" fear levels. I'm kind of afraid to scuba dive now when I never was before. Not afraid of drowning, but of getting bent with a spinal cord hit. I'm also afraid I'll fall off my husband's motorcycle. We may not be feeling fragile; rather, we may have finally realized that we are. All I know is it's driving me crazy...


    You'd better get a big gun 'cause I'm not dead yet."
    ---The Bad Examples

  4. #4
    Senior Member TD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ, USA
    Posts
    649
    I'm not sure if its PTSD, that I fractured my leg falling out of my chair, or just the fact that I was so mangled in my wreck that I don't want to cause any more pain but I feel like you do a lot of the time. I pick and choose what sort of activities I want to participate in nowadays and most of them do not include those that involve the possibility of pain. I use the old "I'm getting too old to be doing this!" decision making process. That doesn't stop me from fishing, swimming, playing pool and lots of other favorite things, it just make me think a little longer before I attempt to do things I used to do when I was AB.

    "And so it begins."

  5. #5
    Oh, I know exactly how you feel. After 16 years of SCI I swear I'm afaid of everything! Last night our electricity went out and I nearly had a panic attack when my air mattress started deflating (fortunately it came back on again). I guess it's just that I can do zero to help myself in event of an emergency. I'm even afraid of bad things happening to the people around me cuz I depend so much on them.

  6. #6
    i feel the opposite. "lightning doesn't strike twice." you've already suffered the worst, what else can happen? i'm anxious to try stuff i was scared of before like sky-diving, water skiing, anything, bring it on. life is too short to be timid.

    Philippians 4:4-7

  7. #7
    Senior Member alan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Posts
    6,729
    Originally posted by StarlightAngel:

    Oh, I know exactly how you feel. After 16 years of SCI I swear I'm afaid of everything! Last night our electricity went out and I nearly had a panic attack when my air mattress started deflating (fortunately it came back on again). I guess it's just that I can do zero to help myself in event of an emergency. I'm even afraid of bad things happening to the people _around_ me cuz I depend so much on them.
    We lost power for three hours the other night. My mom and my aide were here, but they use the ceiling lift to put me into bed, and that's electric. They managed to fling me in, but not very well, and I sure can't help out. I know exactly how you feel, both about yourself and the people around you. Our situation sucks. Of course, people who deserve misery like ours (Saddam, Arafat, other dictators and terrorists) somehow never get screwed like us. In our next lives, let's be evil bastards.

  8. #8
    Senior Member ~Patrick~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Lewistown,Pennsylvania
    Posts
    1,517
    I mean this in a nice way- You need to fall a few times to prove to yourself you are not as fragile as you think. The first time I wiped out(note to self, "dont extend your reach when sitting on edge of chair and in socks!") I spent three hours in the ER convinced I had broken a rod loose. I told the ortho next time I saw him and he laughed at me. You are still spooked now but hang in there it will get better.



  9. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    oregon
    Posts
    66
    andy,

    i can also relate. i'm 4yrs post and still lack confidence in some areas...but i remember feeling very fragile at first. i think part of this is a mental trip...but i also think that the healing process can be so slow with sci that our bodies ARE fragile in some respects, and we need to pay attention to our temporary limitations while recovering. so obviously we do have to be careful, but we also need to push the envelope as far as trying new things in order to progress...it's a fine line and i agree with pat...you gotta fall to know you're gonna survive...just make sure you "fall forward" so you're a little farther ahead when you get up ...you'll get you're confidence back...nobody knows you as well as you know yourself.

    joey m....lightening CAN/DOES strike twice...personally i'm more careful about tempting God by engaging in risky behavior (of course, i broke my neck riding bulls)...but joey, i admire your pluck and i dig that scripture!

    thanks,
    dusty

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •