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Thread: Awkward wedding

  1. #1

    Awkward wedding

    My wedding day is in just a little over a month. I'm getting anxious about how awkward I'm afriad it will be. I'm in a manual chair, and my fiance is AB. The height difference worries me, especially when we are exchanging vows. I'm wondering if wheelchair users here have been in this situation and if you would share your experience?

    I was hoping for an iBOt, but that obviously won't be happening within the next month.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Post Falls, Idaho


    When my husband (who is in a manual chair) and I got married 2 yrs. ago, I hadnt planned on it, but when the minister started the ceremony I got down on my knees so we would be the same height. It was perfect and the pictures came out beautiful! Good luck and God bless you both!!!

  3. #3
    I'm getting married this October. We are going to have a chair at the altar for my fiance. He will sit down (like me!) throughout the ceremony. When we exchange vows we are planning to turn our chairs to face each other. Like you, I couldn't imagine him standing next to me while I was sitting in my chair. Hope this helps!

  4. #4
    you might want to check and see if you can get a chair that elevates or use a Lifestand chair that can move while you are in a standing position? The rehab shop that I use always has one on the floor for people to try out. You might find somewhere local to rent one for the day.

    Even if you use your current chair, I bet no one will notice and your day will be just as special! Congratulations

  5. #5

    Eye to Eye is best...

    Seat your wedding party too...and quite frankly the minister as well...This is such a wonderful event in a should be perfect. God will understand the need for the chairs.....just a suggestion...good luck honey!!


  6. #6
    Senior Member Jeff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Argao, Cebu, Philippines

    My wife and I were seated...

    next to each other at a table across from judge. It was a civil ceremony but much longer and nicer than civil ceremonies here in the US. Part of the ceremony is signing all the paperwork which is why weddings are often done this way. We have a video and lots of pictures and I really like how they turned out. Other photos with everyone standing and me sitting are okay, too, but the ceremony itself with us both seated made me feel a lot better about it. Might not help you much for your US wedding but it can be done very nicely this way.

    ~See you at the SCIWire-used-to-be-paralyzed Reunion ~

  7. #7
    Super Moderator Sue Pendleton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Wisconsin USA
    I was also going to suggest kneeling especially if you are having a mass/ceremony. I was married as an AB in the magistrate's office in Rome, Italy and like Jeff and Rowena, Jay and I (and our witnesses) were seated through most of the ceremony. Of course when you're all sitting in gold gilt chairs that are a couple hundred years old it adds something to the ceremony.

    I think the bigger things to think about are: make sure the chair is spotlessly clean, adjust everything so your dress does not get caught in wheels or anything (you can pin, baste or tape extra cloth underneath your knees if need be), have a try out with any rug or white carpet down the aisle to make sure it stays put while you move (if it moves get to a rug shop and ask for rug holders for the ceremony--they go under the rug and hold it to the floor), have a chair available even if you have a mass ceremony because the poor groom's knees will be dying after 15 minutes and....any decorations on the inside of the pews should not get in the way of your chair, check them out. And talk to your photographer about pictures. If you want a very formal portrait I'm sure the priest/minister/rabbi will not mind if you and your chair are lifted up any step or two to the main altar and your new husband stands below so you are close to but not exactly even. A good photographer will have some ideas if you meet him a few days in advance and he has a chance to look around the ceremony area and reception hall.

    And short sleeves or not let someone push you on that day! You do not want dirt on your sleeves or on the slice of cake you offer or your hubby.........offer! Make sure that he understands that messy cake shoving is inappropriate always and that you have enough to worry about without dropped smashed cake in your lap.

    You'll be beautiful and the ceremony will be great, Shannon! Relax and enjoy it. Oh, and use the new smudge proof lipstick.

  8. #8

    Hey Beaker!

    There's a topic about this a while back, there's a few different ideas including mine wedding, everyone sat, it was cool.

    Here's the link:

    Hope the link works, if not just copy and paste it.

  9. #9



    I just wanted to say that I attended a Catholic wedding a few months ago, and both the bride and groom sat down...and they were both AB! I've never seen this before, but no one blinked an eye. I think that whatever you decide will be beautiful! Weddings are such joyful occasions...everyone will be so happy, the details will seem unimportant in the end.

    I wish only the best for you and your fiance as you begin your lives together!

  10. #10
    Thanks so much everyone!

    It's going to be a garden wedding. About 50 people will be attending. The ceremony will be super short, because I'm a wreck when I'm the center of attention! My fiance doesn't understand the importance of being eye level. He wants to stand and he thinks it would look silly if he were kneeling or sitting. I'm very frustrated. There doesn't seem to be a good solution because if he's standing, I'll be uncomfortable, and if he's sitting or kneeling, he'll be uncomfortable.

    I'm sort of new here and I don't know if I can post pictures, but I will post one after the wedding if I can.

    Carl, I can't get a chair that stands me because it's been about 20 years since I've put weight on these bones. That's a whole other story.

    Spinner's wife, I think that is very sweet that you kneeled.


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