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Thread: Who & what is allowed to be posted here?

  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Morinville Alberta Canada
    Posts
    124

    All your posts are acceptable Chris2...

    ...it would just be nice if you actually took some of the advice offered to you here and then get back to us letting us know how it went.

    You talk about your mental health issues before and after your injury, not sure how deep that goes but I can say pretty confidently that "we all have some mental health issues" being sci'd (probably me the most).

    The only thing I even remotely asked you to consider when you post is the situation of others. I mean...how would you feel if say...you had 6 months to live with an incurable desease. Let's say you were sitting with a friend who did nothing but complain about his arthritic knee...day in, day out, all you ever hear is about how this guy with arthritis couldn't play football anymore, the pain was too much to bear...and that "his knee would be like this for life"...over and over and over again, day in day out this whining persists.

    Wouldn't you think this arthritic person was a self absorbed egomaniac? Someone who couldn't see how lucky he was compared to others? Wouldn't you wish that this guy would just please cut back on the whining, especially when he was with you, a guy with only 6 months to live?

    I was a lot like you...for about 3 weeks when I was first hurt. When in the hospital I whined and belly-ached about the pitiful life I had in store. Then I was placed in rehab and my "feel sorry for me attitude" stopped. How could I in all good conscience possibly feel sorry for myself when those around me had it so much worse. We had low level quads struggling to get food to their mouths by themselves...we had higher level quads asking their Moms to pick their noses for them...we had brain injured people who weren't able to remember who their Moms were...

    If I went around rehab talking about how pitiful my life was going to be then what message would I be sending to the others who obviously had it worse than myself? I wasn't much of a man back then but I was enough of one to realize that I had no right to complain in rehab...I was lucky...and believe it or not, so were/are you.

    Last word. This is the internet and you can post and do just about anything you want to. Have at it, complain all ya want but trust me on this one, if you keep whining enough most will start to tune you out and I trust that is not what you truly want from your 'venting".

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Morinville Alberta Canada
    Posts
    124

    Hi Mum...

    ...being sensitive was never my strongest suite.

    I started off being sensitive but lost it in the end. One day my puter will have a spell check/sensitivity check option and I shall use it often.

  3. #13
    ParaDude,

    Ha! A sensitivity check on the computer - brilliant! I can immediately think of two of my friends who would benefit greatly from such an invention! Don't imagine that I'm Ms Sensitivity myself though - I've always been very blunt and it hasn't always gone down well. I post on another board occasionally and there's a depressed character on that one who will just NOT help herself in any way ... now & then she cheers up but mostly comes on to offload and to get 'strokes' from the other 'sensitive' women who respond to her, but I actually don't think they're doing her any favours - it's like she gets her fix, then goes away and manages to exist somehow until the next offload, when what she desperately needs is professional help. I've offered up suggestions to her in the past but now I find I just can't join in with the others' "there there"s anymore.

    In psychological terms we can all get caught up in what's known as a Victim/Rescuer/Persecutor triangle which I'll save going into here, but is something I try to spot happening and avoid. It can be very frustrating when someone refuses to take advice and if Chris2 has been doing that for a very long time on this board then he's his own worst enemy, but at the end of the day it's his choice. There'll always be 'rescuers' ready to comfort him and he could go on forever like that but I won't be one of them. I've said my bit and it's entirely up to him whether he takes it on board or not ... despite his depressive state he's still able to make the choice between getting help or not - he's not a child, even though he feels like one currently. Having said all that, a person needs to be 'ready' in themselves to ask for pro help and a certain amount of empathy and understanding prior to this point (and during the period of their treatment) is no bad thing.

    Coming from the position I do, I know you're trying to help Chris, and not persecute' him. We both are. It upsets me greatly to hear people's emotional pain, especially when I know from experience that it doesn't have to be that way. Pointing out examples of people worse off than Chris makes sense to you and me, but when someone's as down as he is they can't easily understand that - and I mean literally "can't" as their brain chemistry is such that their mind just doesn't view things in the same way as a non-depressed person does. It's like we're talking a different language from him. (And besides, everything is relative). The brain chemistry issue is where antidepressants come into play, and God knows where I'd be today if I hadn't taken those little darlings.

    I'm a quotaholic (yeah, boring, but better than some of my previous addictions!) and several come to mind right now .....

    "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." - Hannah Whitall Smith

    "No-one wants advice, only corroboration." - John Steinbeck

    "He who can take advice is sometimes superior to him who can give it." - Karl von Knebel

    "Never eat more than you can lift." - Miss Piggy

    Yes the last one's totally irrelevant but I thought I'd finish this somewhat know-it-all diatribe on a smile.

    Mum xx

    Life is what happens to us while we're making other plans. - John Lennon

  4. #14
    The idea of online counseling is actually starting to gain acceptance in professional circles. I'm not sure what the American Psychological Association's official position is on this yet, but I can look it up in case anyone is interested.

    Having said that, I'm willing to add my support to the idea of a mental health forum. I think we could tailor the subject matter to include things that would normally be discussed in the context of a therapeutic seeting as opposed to an open "Life" context. I would also suggest that it be limited to a "members only" (like the "Relationships & Sex") due to issues that may be brought up.

  5. #15

    Chris2

    Please seek / get professional psychiatric help now.

    Onward and Upward!

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