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Thread: Who & what is allowed to be posted here?

  1. #1

    Who & what is allowed to be posted here?

    Who is allowed to post here and what subjects are permitted? Some people post over and over about physical pain quite understandably and it is acceptable but do I take it "not able to cope" is not acceptable???

  2. #2

    I don't think that we can help you as much as a professional can. We are people who have gone through a hard time dealing with SCI and not trained professionals. We may have gone through depression and had a hard time coping with the feelings left behind after the injury but that is as far as it goes. I personally have had to deal with depression many times and emphatize with your feelings of helplessness. But then again, I have also had to get professional help with it too. Have been given anti-depressants and found that they do help when most needed. There is nothing wrong with admitting to having a hard time coping. The problem lies in not doing something about it. We are all going or have gone through a lot of those feelings you have and know where you are coming from. We are different people with different points of view and some will not necessarily respond to you in the same manner but we do know what it feels like.

    Please don't feel that you can't post what you are dealing with here. Just don't expect the same answer from all of us here. From what I saw in Paradude's response to you, he is using "tough love" with you. I don't know if you are familiar with the idea but it is a means of "shaking" a person up so they can see things in a different perspective.

    One thing I notice is that you keep putting yourself down. This I believe is not helping you at all. You are a survivor and will make it through all this, I am sure of it. But you do have to get professional help. There is nothing wrong in doing it. We all have to accept that we are first of all human beings with frailties. It is when you accept that fact and do something about it that you also become stronger. By admitting it, you took the first step towards healing. Therefore, you are on the right track. Just continue to take more steps forward with it. I know you can make it, but you do have to take the next step.


  3. #3
    Having been through clinical depression in the past and come out the other side, I disagree with ParaDude's description of Chris2 as a whiner. Right now Chris is a vulnerable human being and his 'need to connect' on this board is not whining but a literal cry for help. It seems to me that there very definitely ought to be one part of this forum devoted purely to emotional problems, where Chris could offload without feeling it wasn't permitted. I understand where ParaDude's coming from with his tough love approach as the constant 'poor me' attitude does need a shift of thought process, and there's no question that professional help is essential for Chris here as he's in no position to retrain his thoughts on his own - he needs someone to help him do this. I think he knows this and will get said help but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be able to post his feelings here also, albeit on a forum specifically for that purpose.

    I'm constantly astonished at how mental 'illness' is never given the same priority as physical illness. Chris is sick, not whingeing. Sick people need empathy, understanding and the services of a good doctor/counsellor. Chris is 'stuck' currently and needs to change something, anything, to be able to move on.

    Chris, just as an exercise, pick one issue in your life and try doing or thinking the opposite of what you normally do or think just to see what happens. ParaDude is right that you need a wake-up call, he just didn't present it very sensitively. You have good reasons to feel frightened and vulnerable currently but the fear of something is always worse than the reality, and you won't be on your own in all of this, and certainly not if you seek the professional help you require. You're already better off than many who won't admit their vulnerabilities. They're the ones in the biggest trouble.

    Mum xx

    Life is what happens to us while we're making other plans. - John Lennon

  4. #4

    I think your suggestion should be fowarded to Wise. Someone with your experience would have much to contribute to such a forum, and it could very well help others to bridge the fear factor towards reaching out for professional treatment. I´m sure the information gathered in such a forum over time would be very productive. "Mental Care" or "Mental Health" could very well be a great addition, and in my opinion, it would be a quantum sprung in the evolution of this website.

    But as in the "Care" forum which is moderated by professional nurses with vast knowledge of SCI issues, and who specifically announce that their advice cannot substitute that of a doctor, a "Mental Care" forum would have to be monitored by mental healthcare professionals who could give advice a´la SpinalNurse, yet not substitute the needed care of a psycotherapist or psychiatrist.

    I did suggest to Chris2 in an earlier post that maybe he should not be coming here for help because no one who posts here is qualified to give the needed treatment what he needs. However, under a structured "Mental Care" forum, monitored properly and responsibly, I could very well see Spinewire as the first stop for INFORMATION and ADVICE (not treatment) on this problem that does fester in the SCI, MS, and other, communitys..

    [This message was edited by Mike C on Jun 23, 2002 at 09:23 AM.]

  5. #5
    Chris2, you are of course welcome to post about coping on these forums. At the same time, however, you should understand that there will be people who will disagree and will express their opinions. This is a community with a wide range of views on most topics. The forums allow people to express their agreement and disagreement in a variety of ways. We can see which topics are popular by the number of postings or views that a topic has attracted. People can indicate their pleasure or displeasure with specific topics in many ways, including stars, words, and emoticons.

    Over the past year, the moderators and I have tried to do the following on the site. First, we encourage people to treat others with respect. Second, because spinal-injured people under 13 come to this site to read about care and cure, we encourage members to post sexually explicit information in the Relationships and Sex Forum. Third, we encourage people to avoid duplicating information on posts. Finally, we encourage members to be accurate and to document the information that they post. Other than these goals, we try hard not to interfere.


  6. #6
    Mike C, the possibility of a "Mental Health" forum has been and is under serious consideration and discussion. I am reluctant to segregate the subject into its own forum because we don't have the appropriate people or resources to offer mental health advice. However, as you know, the community does provide what I consider to be the most important service of all: letting people know that they are not alone with their problems, providing people with a sounding board for troubling feelings, and sharing solutions. Wise.

  7. #7
    Not for nothing, but how about submitting a Quality of Life grant proposal from the CRPF for just this purpose? Might be worth a shot. This site does operate under a Non-Profit Organization umbrella doesn´t it? I´m sure with the success shown with the Care forum, a Mental Care forum might have a chance at winning such a grant. The idea does fall within the grant´s criteria. Needless to say, they already know a lot about this site and it´s good standing within the SCI community. Heck, the worst case would be that they say no

    [This message was edited by Mike C on Jun 23, 2002 at 11:17 AM.]

  8. #8
    Good idea. I will start trying to marshall resources to put such an idea together. Any other suggestions are of course welcome. Wise.

  9. #9
    Mike C (& Wise),

    Your response to my post was well put and I agree with all of it, although any experience I could personally bring to bear would be somewhat irrelevant as a) I've not suffered a SCI (my son has), b) every individual's situation is unique and unrelated to another's, c) I'm in the UK and have no knowledge of other countries' mental health systems, and most importantly, d) I am not a professional expert. This last point is very important and I can understand Wise's reluctance to start a separate forum .... along with those who genuinely care and want to help, and even amongst them, would inevitably be characters who believe they have all the answers for whoever is posting in a distressed manner. Said characters never do - only the distressed person has the answers, they just need someone with the appropriate training to help them find them for themselves. If such persons were available to moderate then this would be a highly valuable service and a possible stepping stone towards face-to-face treatment.


    "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." Charles Darwin

    Life is what happens to us while we're making other plans. - John Lennon

  10. #10
    Senior Member Clipper's Avatar
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    Aug 2001
    Portland, Oregon

    Anyone may post here and all topics are welcome. But as Wise said, expect to hear a variety of opinions. Each of us has a different way of coping, and we try to pass on our views to help others.

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