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Thread: Stupid AB lines

  1. #51
    Senior Member Scorpion's Avatar
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    I've heard a bunch of ignorant comments, though most people aren't being rude or cruel.

    But the funniest was said by my little cousin Seth when he was 4. He said, "Uncle Russell, how'd they put your head back on." Laughing, I replied, "No, Scootie [that was his nickname], my head didn't break OFF. I broke the bones inside my neck." He looked at me for a few seconds trying to comprehend, then said, "Well, they did a pretty good job with your face."

    ~Rus

    "Sometimes it's hard to see tomorrow through yesterday. It's alright to talk about it, but I'm here today" (Zac Maloy / The Nixons)

  2. #52
    Senior Member DA's Avatar
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    early today i was, for the 50th million time, lectured
    on how i can be cured today. i was told if i stop
    believing i was paralyzed, i would get up. i just needed
    to believe that god could heal me. she said if i would
    ask god to heal me, he would. so i played along and i asked.
    nothing happened, duhhhhh. so then i got lectured about
    not rushing god. god do things on his time and when
    he is ready to cure me he will.
    had i not been a quad, i would have pulled my hair out.

  3. #53
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    Originally posted by -Andrea-:



    An aside to Ron: if you're so good looking, why do you PAY for your women?
    Cause the bouncers would beat my ass if I didn't. They don't take too kindly to not paying for a lapdance.

  4. #54
    Senior Member TD's Avatar
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    One from my wife...

    While visiting a Walgreens, my wife came across a delivery van parked on the handicapped ramp. She politely told one of them that they were blocking the ramp and people in wheelchairs could not get to the stores. He replied, Oh, go away, Lady, I'm having a bad day". She then said, "Think about the people in wheelchairs who can't take a few steps. Think about how they're day is." His reply was, "Oh, Lady!! Just go home and make dinner." Fuming, my wife said, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I didn't realize your handicap was mental!"

    "And so it begins."

  5. #55
    Senior Member -Andrea-'s Avatar
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    Originally posted by Ron:

    Originally posted by -Andrea-:


    An aside to Ron: if you're so good looking, why do you PAY for your women?
    Cause the bouncers would beat my ass if I didn't. They don't take too kindly to not paying for a lapdance.
    Ron, darling - I meant, WHY don't you just go get a girlfriend? Then you won't need to pay. You're at least intelligent - I gather that much from your posts, though they are rude, some are hilarious.

    Cuando el amor te llame, siguelo, aunque sus caminos sean abruptos y escarpados ~Kahlil Gibran

  6. #56
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    TD:
    "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I didn't realize your handicap was mental!"
    I've been known to say that I didn't realise illiteracy qualified someone for a disabled parking permit but then I'm famously rude when it comes to inconsiderate $#%@ who park in disabled spots.

    And what's the deal with people asking total strangers (ie those in wheelchairs) about their sex life? Mind yer own effing business!

  7. #57

    From the Mouths of Babes!

    Hey Scorp, you reminded me of the time this little girl in a store looked at me, then asked her mom "Hey Mommy, How come that lady's in a wheelbarrow?" It was hilarious, we just cracked up. To this day it's the cutest thing I've ever heard.

  8. #58

    Another cute one

    My nephew took a ceramic Easter rabbit I painted for him to Show and Tell. His mom prepped him by telling him to say that I have a spinal cord injury so I can't use my fingers. When the pressure was on in front of the class, he blurted, "My aunt painted it. She broke her arms and legs."

    ROFL I still laugh when I picture myself, with arms and legs sticking straight out in casts, carefully painting that little 3" or 4" Easter rabbit!

  9. #59

    How about curious kids????

    Last year we went to Universal Studios... when we were in the line (u know they go like a maze with only a bar separation) A kid on the other side of that bar decided to check what that stick on the control of the chair was.... needless to say, I chocked against one of the bars as I tried to shut the chair off so that little monster could be controled by his mommy!

    ...It's the heart afraid of breaking,that never learns to dance... It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance... It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give, and the soul afraid of dyin'... That never learns to live...

  10. #60

    Baby sitting

    Well, in spite of my injury, I was my little cousins baby sitter (or almost mother) One was 7 when I got injured and the little one was born a few months after my injury. Well, when that little one was on those literally terrible two I was trying to wake her up one afternoon but, since she was playing sleep, I said as I rolled out of the room that I'd play with her toy (I was on a small manual chair then) Well, Bam-Bam decided to chase me and stop me by grabbing the back of the chair which... made me flip back and fall ON TOP OF HER. Imagine the horror of thinking you broke the baby's bones... ribs... she was crying and screaming cause she couldnt get out as the 7 (then 9) was in panic running up and down the house. Anyhow, I managed to pull up a tiny bit but enough for the baby to get out... Luckily, the handles of the chair only slid across her chest without harming her other than a small bruse... That was so scary

    ...It's the heart afraid of breaking,that never learns to dance... It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance... It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give, and the soul afraid of dyin'... That never learns to live...

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